20 Things Principals Hope They Don’t Hear On The First Day Of School.

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"The Sheriff’s Here."1. “A first grader just threw up in the hallway.”

2. “The Spanish, Math, and Chemistry teachers won’t be in; they just found new jobs.”

3. “It is going to be 99 degrees today with a heat index of 152.”

4. “Evidently when the first grader threw up, it set off a chain reaction.”

5. “Three busses broke down eight miles from school, and it is going to be 99 degrees today with a heat index of 152.”

6. “Your secretary needs maternity leave, starting tomorrow.”

7. “The Sheriff is here and he needs to speak to you.”

8. “The air conditioner repairman will be right here; in two weeks.”

9. “The teacher didn’t show up for class, so we just left.”

10. “Has anyone seen Roscoe, the albino rat that we keep in the science lab?”

11. “It is just me, or do I smell something burning?”

12. “The copy paper is still on backorder?”

13. “Why are you here? Didn’t they tell you, the school board didn’t renew your contract?”

14. “Something just happened in the gym, they need you in the locker room.”

15. “I just saw the janitor wrestling Roscoe on one of the lunch tables.”

16. “The toilets won’t flush and I just sent the first graders to the restroom.”

17. “The new teacher just burnt popcorn in the lounge.”

18. “Your fly is open.”

19. “The game starts in five minutes; does anyone know why the football lights won’t turn on?”

20. “It is 99 degrees today with a heat index of 152 and the air conditioning is not working. Are we getting out early?”

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While this site operates with the knowledge and awareness of the Tuscola CUSD #301 School Board, Tuscola, Illinois, the content and opinions posted here may or may not represent their views personally or collectively, nor does it attempt to represent the official viewpoint of Tuscola CUSD #301 administrators or employees.