Summer is here.
If I could sing I would. If I could dance I would.
Since my only marginal talent is rambling ill-conceived blogs, I am going to stick with what I know.
School is out which means it is time to find some new teachers. Which reminds me, interviewing is exhausting.
The process seems simple enough.
Step 1: advertise the open position.
Step 2: get 12 bazillion resumes on 87 different shades of white paper (who knew there were so many shades of white??).
Step 3: open the applications while constantly wondering… how much do these people spend on fancy paper, envelopes, and fancy folders?
This question always leads me to the same conclusion. The applicants really should have put as much time and effort into their college classes as they did applying for this position.
Step 4: schedule the interviews by emailing. No phone calls. It’s 2009.
Tag is fun. Phone tag is not.
I can remember when I was looking for my first job and the time and effort it took to check the answering machine 8,000 times a day.
When schools didn’t call back, I assumed the phone was broken. Turns out the phone was working just fine, the schools just didn’t want me.
There was a time when I was afraid to go out in the backyard because I might miss a call. If I did venture out, I almost always heard the phone ring (in my head) and would run back into the house to find…
… a phone that hadn’t rang and wasn’t broken. It was exhausting not getting hired.
Email seems simpler and less painful.
Which is why candidates shouldn’t hide their email address on their resume. It’s like playing “Where’s Waldo” with some of these people.
Put your email address on the front page of your resume in at least a 12 point font. I am begging you. I am old, which means the only thing that is worse than my eyesight is my patience.
I can barely find my car in the school parking lot. how do you expect me to find your email address if it is hidden on page 3 right next to the fact that you were in show choir your sophomore year of high school?
If I need a psychic, police dog, or a magnifying glass to locate your email address, I am not going to lie to you… the odds of you getting an interview aren’t good.
But I am venting (actually it feels good and could be considered somewhat healthy).
By the way I have another new pet peeve. The emailer who always has to have the last word (it’s like I am married to them).
If you are sending an email with 2 or less words take my advice and don’t. I won’t be confused or offended.
Examples of these emails include: Thanks, OK, Will do, Sure thing, and Got it. Email is not a new technology. It works.
If I have sent you an email, I am 99.9999999999999% sure that you have received it.
Please don’t feel like you have to respond to my email that was sent to confirm your last email. OK?
The fun really starts during the actual interviews.
I think schools and administrators make a colossal mistake when interviewing.
They attempt to hire people who are the exact opposite of the person they are replacing.
And by exact opposite, I mean they are completely different in one area.
You see this all the time.
If the last person was older, the new hire must be younger.
If a retiring teacher was quiet, the replacement must be outgoing (this is good news for you show choir person!!)
If the last teacher thought his or her computer was evil and watching them as they moved around the classroom, the school will look for someone with a ton of computer skills (and no history of mental illness).
If the last coach was considered strict, the school will want someone that is kinder and gentler (then two years from now, this person will get fired because they are too kind and way too gentle).
When hiring an administrator, if the last one wasn’t strict, the school looks for a former Marine with anger issues and a crazy eye.
This happens over and over.
Even bad employees have good qualities. It’s a mistake to just focus in on their faults when looking for their replacements.
Having tunnel vision is not always the best way to find a good replacement.
You may hire a new employee who is better in a specific area, but what about the other 27 qualities in which they need to be successful?
Focusing in on one particular trait can lead schools to hiring people who aren’t complete educators, coaches, or administrators.
A year from now the same school will be looking for yet another new employee because this year’s version was lacking in a totally different area.
Which means, if you don’t get an interview this year you have twelve months to pick out some new white resume paper (or off-white… or ivory… or bone… or …).
And find out about the person you are replacing. You don’t have to be better than them, just different.