My Life Has Officially Peaked.


This may be my last blog (stop cheering… I can hear you).

There are two reasons for this.

First, my life has peaked.

Secondly, I have no business flying halfway across the country by myself (has anyone ever gotten lost in the Atlanta airport and starved to death??).  Since the odds of me surviving this travel experience are somewhere between slim and none, I think my focus should be on more important things than writing a blog.

This brings up the question of why I’m unfit to travel by myself.

If you have to ask, it’s obvious you haven’t read very many of my blogs (to summarize… I’m an idiot who doesn’t get out much).

But let’s not focus on my lack of worldly experience.I'm a Loser.  But I Don't Care.

Let’s focus on the most significant event of my 42 years.

One so grand that it may cause me to give up the blog.

And the fame and fortune that comes with it.

What is about to take place is epic.

It’s monumental.

Colossal.

Ginormous.

And prodigious (thank you Mr. Thesaurus).

This is the coolest thing to ever happen in my young life (I always make sure I hang around with old people… so I look youthful).

It’s more exciting than college, marriage, the hatching of my evil spawn, or a Mike Rowe drop-in (not a big fan of the drop-ins, but for Mr. Rowe I would make an exception).

I haven’t been this excited since my daughter said “You know, I may not play soccer next year.”

Sadly, there is only one direction my life can go after this event to end all events.

But who cares.  It’s going to be worth it.

This weekend I fly to Miami (if all goes well… and again… slim and none).

Once I arrive (yeah… right)… get ready… wait for it… this is so big…

… I will be picked up by a car service.

I’ve done it!!!

My life is now complete!!!

A car service (I’m hoping for a limo, but I will settle for anything that isn’t yellow, and doesn’t smell or say Taxi on the side). 

Who would have thought it?

Certainly not my teachers.

Or my parents.

Or anyone who has ever met me.

A car service.

A dream come true.

It’s like I’ve been drenched with a big bucket of giddy.

I can hardly wait to see my driver standing by the baggage claim holding a sign up with my name on it.

Or more likely, his fingers in the shape of an “L” next to his forehead.

Either way, I’m good.

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While this site operates with the knowledge and awareness of the Tuscola CUSD #301 School Board, Tuscola, Illinois, the content and opinions posted here may or may not represent their views personally or collectively, nor does it attempt to represent the official viewpoint of Tuscola CUSD #301 administrators or employees.