Airplanes Are Giant Tubes of Infection.


Say Hello to Mr. Germ.

This may be my best blog title ever.

Or the most disturbing.

Now that I think about it, it’s probably both.

When I flew to Miami, my main concern was not crashing into anything (primarily the ground).

If you haven’t flown a lot, let me break it down for you.

Flying isn’t bad.

Flying into the side of a mountain is bad.

Please feel free to share this travel tip with your friends (no charge).

As I traveled across this country there was a lot of talk about the swine flu.  I’m not exactly sure what all the excitement is about because I didn’t see a single pig who looked nauseous.

But, I did see hundreds of humans who are gross.

Schools work very hard to teach students personal cleanliness.  This is good.

We then send them home to adults who are disgusting.  This is bad.

I noticed that many adults don’t cover their mouths when they cough (use your arm people).  They sneeze into their hands and then touch every public object within 200 feet.  Worst of all, they use public toilets but not public sinks.

Call me crazy.  Call me a germaphobe.  Call me paranoid.

But who doesn’t wash their hands after they use the restroom?  Especially when they are about to board a plane.  The same plane on which I am boarding.

And trapped in.

For 3 hours.

It’s sick when you think about it…

…sitting among 120 perfect strangers who couldn’t find a bottle of Germ-X if you slapped them upside the head with it.  I’m no scientist, but I’m guesstimating there had to be at least 18,407 germs on the plane.

There could have been more, but I avoided the restroom.

The germs are everywhere.  In the air, on the seats, and stuck to the pages of the airline magazines that are shoved in the back of the seat (next to the barf bags).  If that isn’t enough, there is a germ festival taking place all over those “complimentary” blankets.

Do you know why the blankets are free and an extra small bag of pretzels costs 3 dollars?

Because even the airlines realize they can’t rent those disease-laden blankets for a quarter.  Trust me, if they could, they would.

The good news is I’ve been back from my trip for 3 whole days and I’m still breathing (without a ventilator).

This has come as a total shock to me.

I was convinced I would have some sort of a disease by now.  At the very least a disorder that involves drooling and a facial tick.

Evidently I wasn’t meant to be sick.

I’m as healthy now as when I boarded the Flying Infection Tube (which was delayed 2 hours by the way… even germs aren’t on time).

I’m a lucky man.

At least this time.

My advice… the next time you travel by plane, don’t worry about the landing.  Worry about the free blanket.

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11 Things Kids Will Not Learn in School.


 

RULE 1
Life is NOT fair – get used to it.

RULE 2
The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

RULE 3 You May Have to Work for This Guy.
You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice president with car phone, until you earn both.

RULE 4
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. 

RULE 5
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping:  they called it OPPORTUNITY.

RULE 6

If you mess up,it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

RULE 7
Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

RULE 8
Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

RULE 9
Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

RULE 10
Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

RULE 11
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.

The rules are taken from the book "Dumbing Down our Kids" by educator Charles Sykes. It is a list of eleven things you did not learn in school and directed at high school and college grads.

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While this site operates with the knowledge and awareness of the Tuscola CUSD #301 School Board, Tuscola, Illinois, the content and opinions posted here may or may not represent their views personally or collectively, nor does it attempt to represent the official viewpoint of Tuscola CUSD #301 administrators or employees.