I Went to the City Again. Man my Suitcase was Heavy.

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I Can't Pack.I took another trip to big city this weekend. As it turns out, I am still dumbfounded by many things (mostly my odd and some would say erratic behavior).

I still don’t understand why people in the city need the following on every city block; a Wal-greens, Starbucks, Subway, and Dunkin Donuts. I think I have mentioned this before, but it really bothers me. It is my theory that people in the city would be friendlier if we just gave them some shopping choices.

Every city block is exactly the same. Walk in any direction and you can get a magazine, an overpriced coffee, a 6 inch ham and cheese sub, and donuts that will make your heart stop for 45 seconds. Don’t worry, the coffee always brings you back (that 12 dollars you spend on a small cup is worth it).

In my mind the city takes more effort and patience than I am willing to put forth. That is why I am always glad to return home.

I have no interest in taking 25 minutes to travel a mile and a half in traffic. Also, does every cab driver have to honk at every man, woman, child, dog, and squirrel that is within 250 feet of their vehicle- usually for no apparent reason (technically, I made up the squirrel part- they don’t live in the city- their little hearts can’t take the donuts or coffee)?

Also, if I am hungry, I want to eat 10 minutes ago; not wait in line for three hours for a table. Plus, I like breakfast as much as the next person (most important meal of the day!), but a banana, a yogurt, and two biscuits and gravy all washed down with a luke warm glass of chocolate milk isn’t worth twenty bucks (plus tip, or as they say in the city- gratuity).

On top of this, I am still confused at where people in the city shop for groceries. This continues to be one of the great mysteries of my life (along with Donald Trump’s hair- is it a toupee or a comb over- it exhausts me just to look at it).

I must have walked by 3 gun shops, 14 tattoo parlors, and 27 bars (all of which frightened me), but not one grocery store.

On top of this confusion, it has become apparent that I am not cut out for a life where I go from one city to the next on business. Luckily for me, these types of job offers aren’t really pouring in.

One thing has become abundantly clear to me as I travel the world. I am the worst packer in the world.

Not to offend the better half of the human race, but I pack like a girl. And even sadder, I recognize this and still can’t change this pathetic behavior.

The best I can tell is if I am going to be gone three days I need (not want mind you, but need) at least the minimum of the following items; 57 pairs of underwear, 42 pairs of socks, 9 pairs of jeans, 27 shirts, 3 watches, 14 pairs of shoes, and a partridge in a pear tree.

This takes a lot of work to get ready for a short trip, but it is worse when I get home and realize that I have to put up 54 pairs of underwear, 39 pairs of socks, 7 pairs of jeans, 24 shirts, 2 watches, and 13 pairs of shoes that I didn’t wear.

Maybe I would be better off living in the city, where I didn’t have to worry about packing to visit the city because I would already be there.

Of course, then I would have a larger problem in that I would starve to death because I certainly have no idea where to find a grocery store.

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10 Responses to “I Went to the City Again. Man my Suitcase was Heavy.”

  1. Angie
    on Nov 19th, 2007
    @ 10:21 am

    If you roll clothes instead of folding them, you can get a lot more room or you can use a smaller suitcase. You can also stick the socks inside the shoes.

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