If Your Dad Says, “This is Going to Hurt Me More Than You”, It’s Not True.

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Discipline is Good.  In Moderation.Has our educational system taken a step backwards due to a lack of discipline? We are certainly a kinder and gentler society than a couple of generations ago, but is that a good thing?

Growing up I never feared for my safety (a pain free behind to sit on- yes, safety-no), but I did have a certain amount of fear that my dad could take away my ability to sit pain free if I gave him a reason.

In the last twenty-five years we have made real progress in how we treat others and how we discipline our kids.

I wonder though, have we gotten to be so nice and so politically correct that while we are more humane in our treatment of kids, we have gone too far the other way and become too passive?

Life has a way of swinging back and forth like a pendulum. You can make the argument that while we were once too harsh, we may now be too easy on our kids. We need to realize that we are not doing our young people any favors by being so easy on them.

There is no doubt that some adults went too far in their discipline techniques with their children (I still have a sore butt from 1974). I don’t think there is ever a good reason to beat your kids, but in my mind there is a big difference between beating and spanking.

There is something to be said for the improved behavior of a 7 year-old boy when he realizes that the authoritative figure he is dealing with actually means business (by business, I mean stop misbehaving- NOW).

There is a reason that the saying “talk is cheap” is actually a phrase that we all recognize. It should be a felony for parents to threaten their kids without following through.

Kids should be frightened of their parents (re: 1974). Not that they should be afraid to speak, or laugh, or share their opinion, but they should know that there is always a possibility that someone is going to put them back in line when they need it.

A problem that is getting more difficult for children to recognize: Who is in charge? Is it Dad? Mom? Stepdad? Stepmom? Grandpa? Grandma? Dad’s friend? Mom’s friend? Some kids don’t know to whom they answer and that isn’t a good thing for them, our schools, or society in general. If kids can’t clearly tell who is in charge, they begin to think it is them (which reflects every bad family sitcom on TV). Never good.

Someday, I am going to compile statistics proving the link between the majority of teenage boys who get in trouble at school in relation to having no authority figure in their lives.

Everyone needs rules. Discipline isn’t what you do to a child; it is what you do for them. Although on a side note – if you spank your child with a yardstick, (not recommended) it isn’t the kid’s butt’s fault if the yardstick breaks in half.

It is only fair that every kid goes to bed with the knowledge that a loving authority figure would spank their behind until it looks like a monkey’s butt if the need presented itself. (cha ching- I have been dying to use the phrase- monkey’s butt for weeks).

Actually, the secret is not spanking your kids every two minutes, but putting the fear into them that you just might spank them in the next two minutes. This is why the wait is far worse than the spanking when you are sent to your room until your dad gets home.

We are cheating our kids of discipline and wasting too much time in schools when undisciplined students waste other students’ and teachers’ time.

In my estimation, it is quite simple; children should know that their parents brought them into this world, and if need be, they can take them out.

If every kid grew up knowing this one sentence was true, they would be a lot better off.

And the next time you see a parent in Wal-Mart swat their child’s behind, you may want to consider; isn’t that kid lucky to have a parent who loves them?

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4 Responses to “If Your Dad Says, “This is Going to Hurt Me More Than You”, It’s Not True.”

  1. nrb5
    on Sep 23rd, 2007
    @ 6:51 am

    You WILL get comments with this one.
    I’ll be back…

  2. Jen
    on Sep 23rd, 2007
    @ 2:19 pm

    If every parent would get up off of his or her butt when they tell a kid to do something or stop something or…and make them do it, take it away, or remove them from the situation, well, this wouldn’t be a problem.

    I can barely stand to be around those whining parents: Oh no, little darling, don’t do that!…Please don’t do that…I think that man over there doesn’t like what you’re doing…the lady from the museum is going to come and tell you not to do that…I know that you don’t mean to hurt the puppy, so please stop hitting it…I know it’s hard, but… And never ever do they walk over, remove the child, grab the child’s hand away, take the toy or remove them for a talking to.

    Happiest outing of late was when the whiny mom with bratty little boy caught up to us again at the indoors and outdoors museum, despite our best attempts to get away from them…and the kid (about 5 or 6) ended up falling into the fountain and getting soaked from head to toe.

  3. Angie
    on Sep 24th, 2007
    @ 11:37 am

    It’s the same philosophy with a dog. I(If you’ve ever watched The Dog Whisperer, you know what I mean.) The dog needs to know you’re in charge and you mean it. If not, he’ll walk all over you (and pee on the carpet and chew your favorite pair of shoes). Knowing the boundaries makes for a well-behaved and happy dog. Same with kiddos. So, while I don’t beat my dog, he might get swatted while holding the chewed-off end of the garden hose. Then I pet him later and tell him what a good dog he is. Same with kiddos.

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