As I travel this great country of ours (back and forth to work), the question I am asked most often is… “How do I know which grade level I should teach?”
Future educators seem to be confused by the differences in kids at the elementary, middle school, and high school levels.
This is understandable because each grade comes with its own set of strange and fascinating creatures. And when I insinuate students are strange and fascinating, I mean they are strange and fascinating.
The answer to the “Which grade should I teach?” question is, of course, quite simple.
If you are confused, check the nearest restroom (pick the right one, and if you don’t, please keep my name out of it).
You read correctly. The secret of choosing the teaching position is to walk into any school and head straight to the bathroom.
That is where you will find the answer to your career questions.
Other stuff is also kept in there, so ignore that if possible. If you can’t, call a janitor.
When you arrive, wash your hands then ask yourself “What kind of restroom troubles do I want for the next 30 years?”
If you want a restroom in your classroom, teach kindergarten or 1st grade.
If you want to yell at goofy boys for doing goofy things in the restroom, teach 2nd thru 5th grade.
If you like general weirdness, in the vicinity of a restroom, focus on teaching junior high or middle school students.
If you are interested in discovering why there is smoke coming out of the restroom, focus on high school.
So there you have it. Answers to career questions can be found in a stall near you.
Now that I have cleared up this mystery, I can focus on the other question that I am asked almost every day.
“Where’s the restroom?”