Bad Grade. Bad Dad. Bad Deal.

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Here is the deal.Bad Grade.  Bad Dad.

Raising a teenager (preteen… criminal… whatever) is a lot of work.

Being employed in the same school building as the above mentioned teenager/nut job is fun.

And a complete total nightmare.

Here’s why.

Our school district has a new student managment system. This allows parents to track their children’s grades on a daily basis.

Or in my case, a fourteen times a day basis.

Our school district also employs the Tech Queen of our house as the official technology grunt (if you are a technology grunt you will know exactly what I mean… and you should stop reading this blog and get back to the list of 1,014 things you need to get done by tomorrow that should have been done three months ago).

This week all of this nearly collided in a confusing ordeal I like to call "I’m Going to Her Classroom and Punch Her in the Throat!".

Now, I know violence is never the answer.

But to review, she’s a teenager.  Or at least is headed down that awful path.

My troubles (and hers) started when the Tech Grunt was sitting at her desk surrounded by roughly 14 people with questions and 6 computers.

Basically, her area of the school looks exactly like the control room at NASA.

If they had more computers.

Turns out she was having trouble with the new student management program, so much to my surprise big changes were on the way.

Meanwhile, in the actual control center of the school district (my office… which isn’t really in control of anything, but I like to think we are) I was checking the Evil Spawn’s grades.

When I logged on I immediately saw she had flunked a test.

Much to her surprise, the superintendent was about to storm into her classroom and read her the riot act as she sat quietly at her desk reading a book and dreaming of a day when the annoying superintendent would no longer be working in the same building in which she attends school.

I really do know my behavior isn’t approriate, but come on… an F on a test?

We can’t have this.

At least we can’t if she’s going to continue to live in my house and eat all of my food and enjoy the 5,000 TV stations I provide for her.

Plus, she can’t get into vet school and support her elderly parents if she can’t pass 6th Grade Literature.

As fate would have it, she didn’t really flunk this test (but there will be others… and mark my word I will be there to haunt her).

The Tech Grunt had gone in and manually added this "test" grade because she was working on the new system and needed a guninnea pig student with a bad grade.  Notice how I misunderstood the word "test".

So to review, the grade (test…fake…whatever) was added, I was angry (and clueless), the Evil Spawn was in danger of not living to enjoy pepperoni pizza at lunch (which isn’t bad by the way), and the Tech Grunt was disgusted by my anger directed towards what up to this point has been a very nice little girl.

I may need a new job.

Or counseling.

Or at least a heads up on what are real bad grades and fakes ones.

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5 Responses to “Bad Grade. Bad Dad. Bad Deal.”


  1. Alfred Thompson
    on Sep 8th, 2012
    @ 6:56 pm

    Decaf! Superentendents of schools should not drink caffinated beverages. Especially when they have teenage daughters. Or sons. Or wives who work in the district.


  2. Tim
    on Sep 8th, 2012
    @ 7:46 pm

    Those silly tech grunts…


  3. Randy Seabrook
    on Sep 9th, 2012
    @ 7:37 pm

    I laughed so hard that tears came to my eyes. I am so glad that I had the clarity of vision to understand in advance that it would be impossible for my children to attend any school that I was assigned to and not risk being fired. I completely understand the emotions you were feeling! I applaud your restraint and I am sure that everyone has forgiven you for the brief loss of sanity. We are parents first and administrators tenth? Fifteenth? There are so many other hats that come after parent that I have lost count! Have a great Monday!


  4. Alicia Manuel Kessler
    on Sep 12th, 2012
    @ 11:39 am

    It was nearly a rip in the space/time continuum!

    Bahahaha loved this story from so many angles……..

    never mind. I gotta get back to the 500 things on my list….


  5. Michelle Howell-Martin
    on Sep 12th, 2012
    @ 1:48 pm

    Hysterical!

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While this site operates with the knowledge and awareness of the Tuscola CUSD #301 School Board, Tuscola, Illinois, the content and opinions posted here may or may not represent their views personally or collectively, nor does it attempt to represent the official viewpoint of Tuscola CUSD #301 administrators or employees.