There are a lot of good things about being a school administrator. Unfortunately, with the good there must be some bad.
This kind of symmetry makes the world of education go round. First hour and last hour. Teachers and students. Homework and recess. Boys and girls. Math class and recess. Junior high students and detentions. School days and vacation. And the good and the bad.
If this highly organized system breaks down, our schools will be overtaken by mass confusion and total mayhem (alright… more than we have now).
I love the structure of the school day. Everything happens at a certain time.
Structure and lots of it.
Nothing ever changes, until something goes horribly wrong. Which happens by my estimation about 113 times a day, if it has been a good and unusually peaceful day.
Last week I had one of those days. By late afternoon, things had almost been going too well. It had been almost too easy. It was quiet, maybe a little too quiet.
No crisis. No excitement. Nothing out of the ordinary. Until…
….I felt a sharp pain around my neck. Apparently I was being choked.
A variety of things ran through my mind. Who could it be? So little time and so many suspects. I quickly came up with a lengthy list of possible attackers.
Was it an angry parent? Had I upset a student or possibly a teacher? Someone in the community who was not happy with me? Maybe even the home school mom who keeps emailing me, or a soccer parent, or even the chocolate milk kid who haunts my dreams.
It could be one of a thousand people I had dealt with over the years.
One’s mind races in a time like this. My entire life flashed before me.
The highlights and, as it turns out, a lot of boring parts. If I survived this vicious attack, I really need to turn up the excitement a bit (alright… a lot).
My run as a school administrator was coming to an end in about 90 seconds if I didn’t act quickly.
Then it occurred to me.
I wasn’t being choked. I had just closed the file drawer on my tie. Sad but true. At least no one will ever know.
The moral of this story is I hate ties.
The good is I survived my attacking myself with a file cabinet. The bad is I am an idiot and still a target for about a thousand people (a guesstimate… there may be more).