Camping?

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Snoopy Makes Camping Look Fun.  Of Course, This is a Cartoon.I just don’t get it.

My goal has always been to have a better quality of life, not one that’s worse.

So why do people camp?

To me it seems like detention for adults?

I’m confused why people (wife, mil, and evil spawn this weekend) head outdoors to sleep, eat, and use public showers.

These are the same people who get bit by the one mosquito that is within 60 miles of our house.

So what do they do? The head straight into the woods where there are bugs as big as cats.

Thanks, but no thanks.

I have certain rules in my life that I’m not willing to bend. One is not to use a campground shower because
I prefer to bathe without shoes.

It’s like campers are going out of their way to insult cavemen.

How happy would Carl the CaveGuy be if he was given the opportunity to spend a weekend watching football in a house with central air? I can almost hear him grunting with excitement.

Actually forget the AC. What about running water and flushing toilets?

Even Buddy the Dog knows that napping on his recliner in the garage is good, but sleeping indoors on a bed is great.

Think about that.

A dog with a brain the size of a golf ball has figured out that the concept of camping isn’t the best way to live.

I don’t understand why you would want to trade living in your own house for hanging out in a cramped camper in the middle of the woods.

Most campers are small. Really small. So small you would rather sit in a lawn chair next to the fire.

This isn’t good because it leads to you smelling like a cigarette.

Then if you get tired of smelling like tobacco you have no choice but to put on your shoes and take a shower (again, not good… not good at all).

I’m also not a big fan of my kitchen table and bed being the same piece of furniture.

Call me crazy, but where I sleep and where I eat should be very distinct spaces.

I have no interest in moving the salt shaker so I have a place to put my pillow.

Don’t even get me started on the mini-fridge. That was cool in college, but now I prefer my refrigerators come with more than one ice tray.

Maybe they find camping calming.

Maybe they enjoy the peace and quiet.

Maybe they like the break from their regular routine.

Maybe I should keep my mouth shut because I get all of these when they go camping.

I’m not saying who benefits more when they camp, but at least one of us took a shower in bare feet this weekend.

And as a special bonus, I slept in my own bed… not on the kitchen table.

There is one good thing about camping: smores. If you are not familiar with the delicacy that is the smore here is a quote from the movie The Sandlot:

Ham Porter: Hey, you want a s’more?
Smalls: Some more of what?
Ham Porter: No, do you want a s’more?
Smalls: I haven’t had anything yet… so how can I have some more of nothing?
Ham Porter: You’re killing me, Smalls! These are s’mores stuff. Okay, pay attention. First you take the graham. You stick the chocolate on the graham. Then, you roast the mallow. When the mallow’s flaming, you stick it on the chocolate. Then you cover it with the other end. Then, you stuff.

If you haven’t seen The Sandlot… run… don’t walk to the video store. Or Netflix… whatever (I just about forgot it’s 2009).

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9 Responses to “Camping?”


  1. Mark Dunk
    on Sep 20th, 2009
    @ 3:18 pm

    My summer vacations growing up were spent camping for one or two weeks every summer. Dad was a teacher and mom was a library aide, so money was an issue, but by camping, we were able to do a lot of traveling and I got to see a lot of our country in the process. My parents never really complained, so I grew up thinking camping was great.

    During and after college, my wife and I did some camping but not as much as “back in the day.” We did some memorable camping in California, namely Yosemite in the spring and King’s Canyon/Sequoia in the summer. Then, we discovered bed and breakfasts . . .

    My son was a cub and boy scout for a long time, so I accompanied him on lots of the camp outs. Not exactly fun for the adults, but the kids seemed to enjoy it.

    My best/worst boy scout camp out was a 6-night canoe trek in northern Minnesota and southern Canada. We were able to see amazing sites and wildlife, but the true character of many of the boys came out, and sometimes it wasn’t pretty. (I have a recurring nightmare recollection of one boy catching a fish and immediately starting to stab it over and over in the eye.) Overall, though, it was a great trip (logged 56 miles in our canoes)and the boys and adults that went still talk about it 5 years later. My son ended up with over 100 nights of boy scout camping, and I estimate my count at at least 60 nights.

    I short, camping is not for everyone, but if you know what to expect going in, it can be exciting and, dare I say it, fun!


  2. Susan Myers
    on Sep 20th, 2009
    @ 3:20 pm

    Refrigerator? Campground shower?

    Try carrying everything on your back and sleeping away from IT ALL. No shower. No fridge. Dig your own place to do your personal business. Plus, if you are lucky, the water in the canteens in the tent will freeze because it gets so gosh darn cold at night.

    Now THAT is camping.


  3. Mrs.H
    on Sep 20th, 2009
    @ 3:32 pm

    I agree with you. I like my house; my husband and I have worked hard to pay for it. Why on earth would I want to go and pretend I don’t have one? Roughing it isn’t fun–just ask homeless people! (I wonder if “homeless-ing” will be the urban camping of the future?)


  4. Olwyn Hughes
    on Sep 20th, 2009
    @ 4:06 pm

    LOL My idea of camping includes whirlpool tubs, satellite tv and room service!!! I am in complete agreement with you!


  5. Angie
    on Sep 22nd, 2009
    @ 12:18 pm

    Isn’t camping staying in a log cabin?


  6. Ray Jordan
    on Sep 22nd, 2009
    @ 1:17 pm

    Michael, I’m with you. Roughing it means staying in a hotel without wireless internet and a restaurant on-site.


  7. Pat
    on Sep 28th, 2009
    @ 1:49 pm

    LOL My hubby said for you to “Tell us how you really feel!” You see, I gave up our huge Winnebago camper for a tent. Not just any tent, but a backpacking tent! We don’t even have a refrigerator unless we are next to a running river whose water is always cold. We know this because that is also our bath tub!!! So maybe your family’s idea of camping really isn’t that bad???


  8. Reeley
    on Nov 18th, 2009
    @ 12:42 pm

    Eastin and I need to get you to Colorado in the worst way. Believe me, one week in the wilderness with the two of us, a few mountain lions, and a bear, and your life will never be the same ;-)


  9. Karina Severs
    on Mar 18th, 2010
    @ 2:37 pm

    You have a really fantastic website! Keep up the good work, I look forward to viewing more of your posts.

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