Sad really.

The PrincipalsPage.com Blog now has over 300 email subscribers.

This means each time I post a half-thought out incoherent barely readable blog, over three hundred people receive it in their inboxes.

My assumption is 296 of them can’t hit delete fast enough.

And I’m okay with that.

When I got my first subscriber (back in the late 1960’s), I was moved to tears (not really, I’m a school administrator … we have no feelings because we are pretty much dead inside).

When the number reached 100, I assumed a rather large group of total strangers secretly got together to pull a cruel (and quite funny) practical joke on me.

At 200, I figured most of my readers were spammers and/or prison inmates (Shout Out to Cell Block 17!!!).

Now at 300, I’m starting to feel a sense of regret.

I feel like I should apologize.

Apologize for wasting everybody’s time.

Way too many people read this blog (18,315 unique visitors last month… not that I’m counting).

How many precious hours have been wasted by superintendents, principals, teachers, parents, tech people, and prisoners reading this junk?

It’s quite obvious (to me at least) that I have nothing intelligent to say.

The Evil Spawn is evil.

Buddy the Dog is lazy.

I’m not fit to be married, raise a child, run a school, or own a pet.

Old people don’t like change.

Schools need to implement more technology.

We get it.

Enough already.

Shouldn’t people have something better to do with their time than read this drivel?

Shouldn’t they be working to make education better for kids?

Shouldn’t they be selling illegal contraband to inmates in the next cell?

It’s quite possible I’m making the world a worse place in which to live because my followers are not being productive when they read this blog.

So if you are a subscriber or a visitor, thank you.

And I’m sorry.

I promise to stop.

If you promise to stop reading and get back to work.

Comments: 10
Tags: Buddy the Dog, Evil Spawn/Daughter, PrincipalsPage.com, subscribers, superintendents

Would you like to receive the PrincipalsPage.com Blog via email?

It’s easy.

Just sign up (next to my cartoon wife’s right elbow) to receive notifications when new blog entries are posted.

That’s it.

It’s so easy, Buddy the Dog could do it.

And he doesn’t have thumbs.

Comments: 3
Tags: blog subscription, Buddy the Dog, PrincipalsPage.com

Buddy the Dog has done it again.

Another endorsement.

I’ve warned him about letting this go to his head (it’s important he keeps all 4 paws grounded).

He needs to understand that fame and fortune can be flitting.

Just ask Tiger (alright, bad example… he still has plenty of both).

Buddy’s Orange Soda is made by the New Ulm Brewing & Beverage Company in Sleepy Eye, Minnesota… and it wouldn’t kill them to send me a case (or 2). 

I’m just saying.

Comments: None
Tags: Buddy the Dog, Buddy's Orange Soda, New Ulm Brewing & Beverage Company, Sleepy Eye Minnesota, Tiger Woods

Vacation.

You are either good at it or you are me.

And as usual, that’s not a good thing.

Because I stink at vacation.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the time away from home (code:  work).

I’m just not good at it.

Vacation is everything I despise.

No structure.  No schedule.  No reason to set the alarm to get up early.  No To Do List where I can scratch off my accomplishments in the order of importance. 

Just day after day of sitting around watching time pass by.

It’s unstructured and exhausting.

On the other side of the spectrum, my wife (Tech Queen), daughter (Evil Spawn), and Buddy the Dog are great at vacation.

They have walks to take, books to read, little towns to explore, naps to take, and movies to watch (in the effort of full-disclosure… Buddy isn’t that great of a reader).

This is also exhausting.

Watching them relaxing and accomplishing nothing.

The best part of vacation for me is the anticipation of going.  After that it’s all downhill.

Once I arrive at the chosen vacation spot, my thoughts turn to when we have to leave.

When should we start packing?

What time should we leave so we beat traffic?

Will we get back early enough so I can mow the yard?

A vacation is almost more exhausting than staying home and being in my normal routine.

Actually, it’s more than exhausting.

It’s a little pathetic now that I think about it.

Question/snide remark from said “Tech Queen” – A little pathetic?

Comments: 14
Tags: Buddy the Dog, Evil Spawn/Daughter, Tech Queen, vacation

I’ve been a little lax in my blogging.  The reason… we’re on vacation.

Well, kind of.

I’m not sure if you can technically call it a vacation when you drive over 19,000 miles with the Evil Spawn and Buddy the Dog in the backseat snoring (if that isn’t bad enough, they both drool while they sleep… and neither one can figure out why the truck seat is wet).

I must admit this obnoxious snoring is better than hearing “Are we there yet?”

To get from our house to the North Shore in Minnesota took approximately 87 hours.

Or at least it seemed like 87 hours (it may have been longer because at one point I passed out).

The trip was so long that I could have sworn we were going in circles.

I kept thinking… I know I’ve seen this “Welcome to Wisconsin” sign at least a dozen times.

That’s the bad news.

The good news is I’ve been able to drop off “The Grid”.

For educators “The Grid” is a triangle.  It goes from your home to school to Wal-mart (feel free to substitute another large mega-billion shopping store of your choice).

It’s a law.  Every teacher and administrator must spend 90% of their time inside their grid (unless school is in session… then it’s 98.5%).

I think there might be some fine print in NCLB that requires us to stay inside this restricted area.

Rumor has it educators who venture outside the “Grid” too often are never heard from again.

It’s the opposite of tenure.

So it’s a fine line between leaving your grid and going insane (and not a little insane… I’m talking Jack Nicholson in The Shining insane).

Because I don’t see the need in chasing the Tech Queen with an ax, we like to go on vacation at least once a year (unfortunately these never take place during school).

This year we headed for the woods.

A cabin in northern Minnesota.

Frighteningly close to my sworn enemies… the Canadians.

People ask me what I have against the good people of Canada.

Nothing.

I just don’t trust them.

Sooner or later they are going to get sick of the cold and storm our borders with the intent of taking Florida just so they can sit on a beach.

Mark my word, it’s coming.

As I sit here and type this blog, I’m within miles of the US-Canadian border (rest easy, I will keep an eye on them and if I can’t chase them back… Buddy the Dog can… unless of course, he’s napping).

So for the next several days I’m officially off “The Grid”.

No ESPN.  No internet.  No email.  No phone calls. No meetings.

No contact with any other human beings (unless it’s on a golf course… and I do apologize for almost hitting you with my drive off #7).

I’m unreachable.

I’m a ghost.

I don’t exist.

At least that’s what I told everyone at school.

Do you think they will believe I pre-wrote this blog and uploaded it before I left?

I guess I’ll never know since I’m not getting their emails.

Or at least I’m not answering them.

It’s good to be off “The Grid”.

Comments: 7
Tags: "The Grid", Buddy the Dog, Canada, Canadian's, Evil Spawn/Daughter, Jack Nicholson, Minnesota, NCLB, Tech Queen, The Shining, Wal-mart, Wisconsin

It was just a matter of time.

Buddy is now endorsing products.

I hope and pray it doesn’t go to his head.

I would hate to see him become an egotistical star who forgets where he came from (…crate in the garage).

He needs to remain grounded (all 4 paws).

Fame is a fickle fickle mistress.

Comments: None
Tags: Buddy Biscuits, Buddy the Dog, fame

We are raising an animal (no not Buddy the Dog… he’s raising us).

The Evil Spawn is entering Step 1 of her teenage internship.

Each new phase of a child’s life is challenging, but this one is bound to be particularly disturbing.

She’s starting to exhibit some odd behaviors.

Like painting her fingernails.  Picking up her room without arguing about it.  And caring what her hair looks like (after not brushing it for 72 consecutive  months).

But by far the strangest behavior is her sleeping habits.

She never wants to go to bed because she’s not tired, but then she doesn’t want to get up because she’s exhausted.

Don’t ask me to explain because I find it very mysterious.

She seems to have a love/hate relationship with sleep. 

For me it’s a challenge to figure out where she’s located each morning (or more likely, late morning).

When I’m tired, I go to sleep (if all goes well) in my bed (I’m not going to lie, it’s usually the highlight of my day).

When she finally gives up and goes to bed, she heads to one of 18 different places (generally, no more than 3 consecutive nights in any one place).

I might find her sleeping in her bedroom, but that’s the exception… not the rule.

More likely I will discover her crashed out on a couch, in the guest room, or on the floor (this is tricky because you don’t want to step on her first thing in the morning… because this seems to anger her).

I asked her why she doesn’t sleep in her bed and she said “I like it… I just don’t like-like it.”

Ugh.

I have a feeling the odd behavior is just beginning.  It’s only going to get worse.

For me.

In about 6 years I will like her creepy unemployed boyfriend.

I just won’t like-like him.

Comments: 8
Tags: Buddy the Dog, Evil Spawn/Daughter, sleep, teenagers

It’s summertime.

This means two things. 

The first is I finally have time to clean off my desk (I couldn’t find a paperclip all year and now I stumble across 1,714 in one drawer… who knew?).

Secondly, I find during the summer people continue to read this blog, but the number of comments go way down (yes, I’m trolling for more comments… I have little or no pride and apparently a great deal of free time).

The lack of comments could be a sign that the quality of my blog material isn’t as strong during the summer.

Or as I like to believe, readers are just way too busy (vacations, yard work, completing court-ordered community service, etc.)

Either way, I thought this would be a good opportunity to write(?) about a few of my half-baked theories that may not qualify for a full-blog.

So here are 10 possibly comment worthy theories of mine.

1.  World Cup soccer is the equivalent of ice skating in the Winter Olympics.

I’ll watch because I take great pride in pummeling less fortunate countries, but in two weeks I won’t be able to name one athlete who participated.

News to soccer lovers:  It still isn’t sweeping the country.  And it never will (although who knows, because I did think horse racing and boxing were here to stay…).

Little kids like soccer because it’s easy to understand (and pretty much every 6 year old likes to kick a ball and eat snacks after the game).

The rest of us don’t love it because you aren’t allowed to use your hands.

Americans like sports we invented.  And we only invent sports if we can use our hands.

I wish it was more complicated, but sadly it isn’t.

2.  There are way way too many loud blowhard white guys on cable news.  The loud I can mute, but is it too much to ask that we diversify a little bit? 

It is 2010 after all.

There has to be at least one obnoxious overweight Hispanic guy/gal out there somewhere who wants to complain about government.

3.  President Obama misjudged the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

Turns out it’s kind of a big deal.

People are either incredibly angry or sad for those people/communities directly affected (and maybe more so for the birds covered in oil).

He’s not gaining many votes this summer.

He’s becoming the neighbor who leaves their trash cans in the front yard six days after the garbage has been picked up.

Not a big deal to them, but a huge deal to everyone else (yes, I just compared a massive oil spill to my neighbor’s trash… sorry about that).

4.  Twitter is great.

It’s also causing people to be less productive at work.

My estimate is employees are costing their companies $4.3 trillion dollars each year by Tweeting when they should be working.

But that’s just a guess.

It could be more (feel free to follow me on Twitter… @principalspage).

5.  Tony Hayward (head of BP) and General McChrystal (head of Afghanistan) are on my short list for Idiot of the Year (lucky for them we have a lot more year left).

Both should speak less.

Much less.

6.  My desk is like my dorm room in college.  It’s a magnet for crap I think I’ll need later, but as it turns out, it’s just crap.

I’m making a personal plea on behalf of everyone who holds a meeting or a convention.

Stop giving us free stuff.

We can’t handle it.

And we definitely can’t throw it away.

7.  As I get older (and older) winter is too cold and summer is too hot.

I have no point here, I just want to go on the record that I’m seldom happy with the weather.

No matter how bad my day, I always look forward to watching the weatherperson with contempt.

8. My daughter (the Evil Spawn) wants to be older.  I want her age to be frozen in time.

This is no doubt the first of 19,767 arguments we will have between now and her 18th birthday (again, could be more… I’m just guestimating).

9.  Education is changing.  Fast.

And the worst part is most teachers/administrators have no idea.

In 5 years most of us won’t recognize schools, curriculum, evaluations, or the technology advances.

My only hope is all of this makes education better.

But with the government involved, it’s 50/50 (but then again, isn’t everything).

10.  Buddy the Dog sleeps a lot.

And by a lot I mean at least 20 hours a day.

He only awakens to eat, roll over so we can scratch his big hairy gut, bark at big trucks (garbage, FedEx, UPS, busses, etc.), wander aimlessly around the yard, and use the bathroom (also a lot… and I know because I mow).

His life is exactly how I envision my retirement years (I especially look forward to the belly scratching).

Feel free to comment. 

More importantly, enjoy your summer (it’s going fast).

Comments: 17
Tags: BP, Buddy the Dog, cable news, Evil Spawn/Daughter, FedEx, General McChrystal, President Barack Obama, PrincipalsPage, The White House, Tony Hayward, Twitter, UPS

I’m starting to think our sole purpose as educators is to confuse the rest of the world.  

We spend way too much time speaking in initials.

No one… and I mean no one… has any idea what we are talking about.

Below I’ve listed 25 educational acronyms. 

If you know more than 15, you definitely work in education.

If you know more than 20, you are school administrator material.

If you can translate all 25 (and sadly, I can), you are a gigantic dork who needs a hobby.

Answers are at the bottom. 

Don’t cheat.  I’m watching you (as is Buddy the Dog’s crazy Uncle Carl… he’s the handsome devil above).

1.  AASA

2.  ACT

3.  CPS

4.  IDEA

5.  OPMA

6.  GPA

7.  NEA

8.  ASBO

9.  TRS

10.  FICA

11.  AFT

12.  IEP

13.  NAESP

14.  SAT

15.  NSBA

16.  AESD

17.  NCLB

18.  ASCD

19.  GED

20.  ASFSA

21.  RTI

22.  NREA

23.  NASSP

24.  EEOC

25.  SAT

Bonus:  CYA

Answers:  1. American Association of School Administrators  2. American College Test  3. Child Protective Services  4. Individuals with Disabilities Education Act  5. Open Public Meetings Act  6. Grade Point Average  7. National Education Association  8. Association of School Business Officials  9. Teachers’ Retirement System  10. Federal Insurance Contributions Act  11. American Federation of Teachers  12. Individualized Educational Program  13. National Association of Elementary School Principals  14. Scholastic Assessment Test  15.  National School Boards Association  16. Association of Educational Service Districts  17. No Child Left Behind  18. Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development  19. General Education Development Tests (or Certificates)  20. American School Food Service Association  21. Response to Intervention  22. National Rural Education Association  23. National Association of Secondary School Principals  24. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission  25. Scholastic Aptitude Test  Bonus: Cover Your A**

Comments: 14
Tags: Buddy the Dog, educators, Eduspeak, school adminitrators

A poem by a 3rd grader I like to call the Evil Spawn. 

If I were in charge of the world

I’d cancel unkindness,

violence, Reading, and also

English homework.

If I were in charge of the world

there’d be happiness,

Math, and

My Weird School books.

If I were in charge of the world

you wouldn’t have bad books,

You wouldn’t have 1-4 point A.R. books.

You wouldn’t have empty lots.

Or “talking in line.”

You wouldn’t even have broken buildings.

If I were in charge of the world.

A chocolate covered donut

would be a vegetable.

All dogs would be Beagles.

And a person who forgot to brush her hair,

and sometimes forgot to put on her flip flops,

would still be allowed to be

in charge of the world.

Hopefully, she gets a good grade since she is now a published author on a moderately read blog.

Comments: 12
Tags: A.R., beagles, Buddy the Dog, Evil Spawn/Daughter, My Weird School Books