I just don’t get it.
My goal has always been to have a better quality of life, not one that’s worse.
So why do people camp?
To me it seems like detention for adults?
I’m confused why people (wife, mil, and evil spawn this weekend) head outdoors to sleep, eat, and use public showers.
These are the same people who get bit by the one mosquito that is within 60 miles of our house.
So what do they do? The head straight into the woods where there are bugs as big as cats.
Thanks, but no thanks.
I have certain rules in my life that I’m not willing to bend. One is not to use a campground shower because
I prefer to bathe without shoes.
It’s like campers are going out of their way to insult cavemen.
How happy would Carl the CaveGuy be if he was given the opportunity to spend a weekend watching football in a house with central air? I can almost hear him grunting with excitement.
Actually forget the AC. What about running water and flushing toilets?
Think about that.
A dog with a brain the size of a golf ball has figured out that the concept of camping isn’t the best way to live.
I don’t understand why you would want to trade living in your own house for hanging out in a cramped camper in the middle of the woods.
Most campers are small. Really small. So small you would rather sit in a lawn chair next to the fire.
This isn’t good because it leads to you smelling like a cigarette.
Then if you get tired of smelling like tobacco you have no choice but to put on your shoes and take a shower (again, not good… not good at all).
I’m also not a big fan of my kitchen table and bed being the same piece of furniture.
Call me crazy, but where I sleep and where I eat should be very distinct spaces.
I have no interest in moving the salt shaker so I have a place to put my pillow.
Don’t even get me started on the mini-fridge. That was cool in college, but now I prefer my refrigerators come with more than one ice tray.
Maybe they find camping calming.
Maybe they enjoy the peace and quiet.
Maybe they like the break from their regular routine.
Maybe I should keep my mouth shut because I get all of these when they go camping.
I’m not saying who benefits more when they camp, but at least one of us took a shower in bare feet this weekend.
And as a special bonus, I slept in my own bed… not on the kitchen table.
There is one good thing about camping: smores. If you are not familiar with the delicacy that is the smore here is a quote from the movie The Sandlot:
Ham Porter: Hey, you want a s’more?
Smalls: Some more of what?
Ham Porter: No, do you want a s’more?
Smalls: I haven’t had anything yet… so how can I have some more of nothing?
Ham Porter: You’re killing me, Smalls! These are s’mores stuff. Okay, pay attention. First you take the graham. You stick the chocolate on the graham. Then, you roast the mallow. When the mallow’s flaming, you stick it on the chocolate. Then you cover it with the other end. Then, you stuff.
If you haven’t seen The Sandlot… run… don’t walk to the video store. Or Netflix… whatever (I just about forgot it’s 2009).