I wish a good attitude could be bottled.

Just think how much money you could make.

Just think how many people you would personally like to drown in a five gallon bucket of this goopy liquid.

As school is about to begin, there’s one question being asked all over the country.

“Are you ready for school to start?’

Answers may vary, but they generally go like this.

Adults are 50/50.  Some want school to start.  Some not so much.

When I say adults, I’m talking about people who work in schools, not parents.  Every parent in America is ready for school to begin (and they have been since June 1st… my theory is people like their kids, they just don’t want to be in the same house as them).

High school students.  117% answer no (if they answer at all… they may be busy ignoring you). 

No discussion.  No exceptions.

No.  No.  No.

They hate school.  They hate everything.

Except sleeping until noon and texting.

Junior High students are confused about this question and every other aspect of their lives (puberty does strange things to an 11 year old brain).

Some like school.  Some hate school.  Some think Justin Bieber is cool (I told you they are a mess).

Grade school students are the special ones.

Most can’t wait for school to start.

By most, I mean 99%.

They like everything.  School.  Teachers.  Art.  Music.  Recess.  Open House.  Their superintendent.  Homework.

Alright, I went a little far with homework (and maybe the superintendent thing).

As a group, they can’t wait for school to start.

Especially, 4th graders.

That’s when the good attitude about school peaks.

They are wonderful.

They have the attitude we all should have.

Positive.  Upbeat.  Hopeful for a brighter future.

If only we could bottle it.

If only I could sell it.

Yesterday the Evil Spawn was in diapers.  Tomorrow I register her for 4th grade.  I’m dreading what comes next.

Comments: 5
Tags: 4th graders, good attitude

Competition benefits consumers.

If you don’t believe me think about the most annoying monopoly in America.

Cable companies.

Every town has one.

And that’s the problem.  Most towns only have one.

They don’t have any direct competition.

So, if you need their help… good luck (I speak the truth because I speak from experience… and it wasn’t good).

You won’t get an appointment, you’ll get a window.

As in “We will have someone at your house between 1:00 and 4:00 pm.”

What other business does that?

Who makes you miss work so they can show up when it’s convenient to them?  Worse yet, who makes us miss work and then doesn’t show up during the agreed upon time frame?

Only cable companies.

It’s a very “Take it or leave it” attitude (and if you like TV… you take it).

Businesses with competition can’t do this.

If you look in the phone book (yes, I’m dating myself) and there’s more than one business listed in a section, that’s competition.

Dentists.  Plumbers.  Contractors.  Beauticians.  Chiropractors.  Restaurants.  Gas stations.

They all have competition, so they work for you.

To be successful they have to keep prices down and provide quality service.

If they don’t, their customers will go elsewhere.

You know a business has competition when they advertise.

In phone books (or since it’s 2010… online).  On billboards.  In newspapers (or since it’s 2010… maybe not).  Even on radio and TV (but hopefully, not cable).

But you know who doesn’t advertise.

Public K-12 schools.

Why?

Pre-schools advertise.  Colleges advertise.  Graduate schools advertise.

But public schools don’t.

Is it because there’s no competition?  We’ve never been asked to compete for customers (students)?

Just like cable companies, we are often the only option in town.

Maybe we shouldn’t take this for granted.

Maybe we should be trying to entice families into our school districts.

Maybe we should be advertising our test scores, quality staffs, and educational opportunities.

Maybe students should be allowed to shop for schools regardless of where they reside.

Maybe monopolies aren’t good for anybody.  Even schools.

Comments: 9
Tags: advertising, cable companies, Eduvertisment, monopolies

I’ve been a little lax in my blogging.  The reason… we’re on vacation.

Well, kind of.

I’m not sure if you can technically call it a vacation when you drive over 19,000 miles with the Evil Spawn and Buddy the Dog in the backseat snoring (if that isn’t bad enough, they both drool while they sleep… and neither one can figure out why the truck seat is wet).

I must admit this obnoxious snoring is better than hearing “Are we there yet?”

To get from our house to the North Shore in Minnesota took approximately 87 hours.

Or at least it seemed like 87 hours (it may have been longer because at one point I passed out).

The trip was so long that I could have sworn we were going in circles.

I kept thinking… I know I’ve seen this “Welcome to Wisconsin” sign at least a dozen times.

That’s the bad news.

The good news is I’ve been able to drop off “The Grid”.

For educators “The Grid” is a triangle.  It goes from your home to school to Wal-mart (feel free to substitute another large mega-billion shopping store of your choice).

It’s a law.  Every teacher and administrator must spend 90% of their time inside their grid (unless school is in session… then it’s 98.5%).

I think there might be some fine print in NCLB that requires us to stay inside this restricted area.

Rumor has it educators who venture outside the “Grid” too often are never heard from again.

It’s the opposite of tenure.

So it’s a fine line between leaving your grid and going insane (and not a little insane… I’m talking Jack Nicholson in The Shining insane).

Because I don’t see the need in chasing the Tech Queen with an ax, we like to go on vacation at least once a year (unfortunately these never take place during school).

This year we headed for the woods.

A cabin in northern Minnesota.

Frighteningly close to my sworn enemies… the Canadians.

People ask me what I have against the good people of Canada.

Nothing.

I just don’t trust them.

Sooner or later they are going to get sick of the cold and storm our borders with the intent of taking Florida just so they can sit on a beach.

Mark my word, it’s coming.

As I sit here and type this blog, I’m within miles of the US-Canadian border (rest easy, I will keep an eye on them and if I can’t chase them back… Buddy the Dog can… unless of course, he’s napping).

So for the next several days I’m officially off “The Grid”.

No ESPN.  No internet.  No email.  No phone calls. No meetings.

No contact with any other human beings (unless it’s on a golf course… and I do apologize for almost hitting you with my drive off #7).

I’m unreachable.

I’m a ghost.

I don’t exist.

At least that’s what I told everyone at school.

Do you think they will believe I pre-wrote this blog and uploaded it before I left?

I guess I’ll never know since I’m not getting their emails.

Or at least I’m not answering them.

It’s good to be off “The Grid”.

Comments: 7
Tags: "The Grid", Buddy the Dog, Canada, Canadian's, Evil Spawn/Daughter, Jack Nicholson, Minnesota, NCLB, Tech Queen, The Shining, Wal-mart, Wisconsin

I’ve been thinking about writing(?) this blog for several months (ugh…I just realized I’m a procrastinator).

My thought was to blog about how schools will be different in 10 years.

After numerous attempts, I’ve given up (evidently I’m also a quitter).

I really have no idea how schools are going to change.

But I’m positive they will (but what do I know…).

So as a loyal reader with time to burn (I love summer), what’s your opinion?

How will schools be different in 2020?

Will they be better or worse?

What role will technology, unions, government, teachers, parents, tenure, business, politicians, administrators, NCLB, and everything else play in our schools?

Or am I wrong?

Is it possible schools will look exactly the same?

Comments: 12
Tags: NCLB, tenure

It’s summertime.

This means two things. 

The first is I finally have time to clean off my desk (I couldn’t find a paperclip all year and now I stumble across 1,714 in one drawer… who knew?).

Secondly, I find during the summer people continue to read this blog, but the number of comments go way down (yes, I’m trolling for more comments… I have little or no pride and apparently a great deal of free time).

The lack of comments could be a sign that the quality of my blog material isn’t as strong during the summer.

Or as I like to believe, readers are just way too busy (vacations, yard work, completing court-ordered community service, etc.)

Either way, I thought this would be a good opportunity to write(?) about a few of my half-baked theories that may not qualify for a full-blog.

So here are 10 possibly comment worthy theories of mine.

1.  World Cup soccer is the equivalent of ice skating in the Winter Olympics.

I’ll watch because I take great pride in pummeling less fortunate countries, but in two weeks I won’t be able to name one athlete who participated.

News to soccer lovers:  It still isn’t sweeping the country.  And it never will (although who knows, because I did think horse racing and boxing were here to stay…).

Little kids like soccer because it’s easy to understand (and pretty much every 6 year old likes to kick a ball and eat snacks after the game).

The rest of us don’t love it because you aren’t allowed to use your hands.

Americans like sports we invented.  And we only invent sports if we can use our hands.

I wish it was more complicated, but sadly it isn’t.

2.  There are way way too many loud blowhard white guys on cable news.  The loud I can mute, but is it too much to ask that we diversify a little bit? 

It is 2010 after all.

There has to be at least one obnoxious overweight Hispanic guy/gal out there somewhere who wants to complain about government.

3.  President Obama misjudged the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

Turns out it’s kind of a big deal.

People are either incredibly angry or sad for those people/communities directly affected (and maybe more so for the birds covered in oil).

He’s not gaining many votes this summer.

He’s becoming the neighbor who leaves their trash cans in the front yard six days after the garbage has been picked up.

Not a big deal to them, but a huge deal to everyone else (yes, I just compared a massive oil spill to my neighbor’s trash… sorry about that).

4.  Twitter is great.

It’s also causing people to be less productive at work.

My estimate is employees are costing their companies $4.3 trillion dollars each year by Tweeting when they should be working.

But that’s just a guess.

It could be more (feel free to follow me on Twitter… @principalspage).

5.  Tony Hayward (head of BP) and General McChrystal (head of Afghanistan) are on my short list for Idiot of the Year (lucky for them we have a lot more year left).

Both should speak less.

Much less.

6.  My desk is like my dorm room in college.  It’s a magnet for crap I think I’ll need later, but as it turns out, it’s just crap.

I’m making a personal plea on behalf of everyone who holds a meeting or a convention.

Stop giving us free stuff.

We can’t handle it.

And we definitely can’t throw it away.

7.  As I get older (and older) winter is too cold and summer is too hot.

I have no point here, I just want to go on the record that I’m seldom happy with the weather.

No matter how bad my day, I always look forward to watching the weatherperson with contempt.

8. My daughter (the Evil Spawn) wants to be older.  I want her age to be frozen in time.

This is no doubt the first of 19,767 arguments we will have between now and her 18th birthday (again, could be more… I’m just guestimating).

9.  Education is changing.  Fast.

And the worst part is most teachers/administrators have no idea.

In 5 years most of us won’t recognize schools, curriculum, evaluations, or the technology advances.

My only hope is all of this makes education better.

But with the government involved, it’s 50/50 (but then again, isn’t everything).

10.  Buddy the Dog sleeps a lot.

And by a lot I mean at least 20 hours a day.

He only awakens to eat, roll over so we can scratch his big hairy gut, bark at big trucks (garbage, FedEx, UPS, busses, etc.), wander aimlessly around the yard, and use the bathroom (also a lot… and I know because I mow).

His life is exactly how I envision my retirement years (I especially look forward to the belly scratching).

Feel free to comment. 

More importantly, enjoy your summer (it’s going fast).

Comments: 17
Tags: BP, Buddy the Dog, cable news, Evil Spawn/Daughter, FedEx, General McChrystal, President Barack Obama, PrincipalsPage, The White House, Tony Hayward, Twitter, UPS

I don’t understand Spam.  How it works.  Or what purpose it serves.

What I do know is Spammers know me.

They evidently know everything about me.

They know what I like.  What I need.  And what makes me tick.

I’m not going to lie, I love Spam (and not the kind you eat… that’s just gross… and more than a little slimy).

I get my Spam in two ways.

The first is when they deliver it directly to my email address.  Often, on a daily basis.  Or more like 40 times a day.

It’s nice to know when I check my email that there are at least 27 messages from spammers.

The second way I get spammed is on comments to this blog.  It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy when spammers take the time to share their thoughts on individual blogs (and more of you should… I’m just saying).

I’m not going to lie, all of this attention makes me feel really important.

The confusing part is how do they know so much about me?

Just this week they have tried to solve many of my problems.

They know I need diet pills.

And a baby name generator wizard.

And they believe I want to “meet” singles who have just moved into my neighborhood.

You have to admit, spammers are good.

They are helping me get an international drivers license.

And they are removing all of the spyware on my computer.

As an added bonus, they can enlarge parts of my body that I didn’t know could be enlarged.

I am overwhelmed by their generosity.

They are also willing to help me consolidate my debt.

And they are willing to show me how I can make millions off the internet right from my laptop.

I was thinking I’m the luckiest man in the world.

Then low and behold, it got even better.

I’ve evidently won the British Lottery and I’m the sole heir to the fortune of a Nigerian Queen.

It’s good to be me.

On top of all this good fortune, the spammers somehow know I need Viagra.

And by the number of emails they send me… lots of it.

Comments: 8
Tags: British Lottery, Nigerian Queen, Spam, spammers, Viagra

I’m a little late on this blog.

Most administrators (new and old) who are changing jobs have probably already done so by now.

My bad.

If you want, you can sue me (you wouldn’t be the first person to threaten legal action… this year… or today).

In the last couple of months, things have been hectic in the exciting world of education.  Of course, if you work in or near a school you already knew this.

Changing jobs can be a nerve-racking experience (so I’ve been told).

This might be especially true if you like your present position (and there are actual school administrators who like their jobs).

Eventually everyone moves on to bigger and better (unless you’ve been fired… then you may have to move on to smaller and worse).

The lifespan of a school administrator is roughly… not very long.

I don’t have actual statistics (too lazy to Google), so just for the sake of this blog let’s say it’s 3.64 years (I thought if I threw in a decimal it would seem like I actually knew what I’m talking about).

Once you hit this magic number it may be time to move on.

The challenge is where do you go?

What job should you take?

First, you need a school that is willing to hire you.  Personally, this makes me nervous because do I really want to work for a district that would hire me (think about it)?

I think this is where some administrators make a mistake.

Don’t just take a job to take a job.

Don’t get mesmerized by the money, benefits, or the offer of a brand new stapler (which I desperately need by the way).

There is something far simpler that is more important.

You want (and need) a job where you are surrounded by people who have a vested interest in your success.

This may seem kind of basic, but it’s important.

Without this type of support, you are almost certainly doomed to fail.

You may want the new job to go well, but if the people above, below, and around you don’t want it to be a success… it won’t be.

Comments: 3
Tags: Google, new job, school administrator

Once a teacher, always a teacher.

When you teach, you get more than a paycheck.

You get special powers.

The most sacred of all of these powers is the ability to correct a child with a “look”.

Any child.

Any time.

Any where.

Restaurants, movie theaters, ballgames, and church are just a few of the places where this gift comes in handy.

If I have to explain this concept (or the “look”), you have never been alone in a classroom of 25+ students (please feel free to replace the word “students” with something more descriptive).

Having the gift also means you have the innate ability to judge others on their parenting skills (I’m not proud of this and I’m not saying it is right… I’m just saying it happens).

The other day I heard a parent say to their child “Your behavior is not acceptable!”

I wanted to say (although you will be proud of me for biting my tongue…) “His behavior is completely acceptable or else he wouldn’t do it.”

And that is teaching and parenting in a sentence.

Most kids do exactly what is expected of them.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

Discipline is the gift that keeps on giving.

Comments: 9
Tags: discipline of children, Parents, Teachers

The End.

Actually there is more to this blog than just the title, but there doesn’t have to be. 

If you’ve been around the strange animal (“The Senior”), the title is pretty self-explanatory.

Seniors don’t have a clue.

About anything.

This is painfully obvious to just about everyone (especially their parents).

Everyone recognizes this fact, but the Seniors.

They think they have it all figured out.

Actually, they know they have it all figured out (if you don’t believe me, just ask them)

The only thing holding them back are those annoying adults.  Those people who surround them with only one purpose…to tell them what to do and how to act.

Who are “those people”? Teachers, administrators, coaches, mom, dad, and every other old person they’ve encountered since they first stepped foot in kindergarten. 

All of those people with their annoying advice, experience, and perspective.

Constantly trying to warn them about the challenges life has in store for them.  Trying to alert them that the world is about to smack them upside the head (and Seniors… consider yourself lucky if you only get hit in the head…). Trying to tell them life gets more complicated after high school, not less (sad, but true).

Seniors don’t want to hear it.

They don’t want anymore advice.

They don’t want to hear any more stories about how life used to be “in the good old days”. 

Enough with the guidance.

They want out.

Out of high school.  Out of their houses.  Out of the towns they grew up in (no matter how big that town may be… it’s still too small and there’s nothing to do).

They want sweet sweet freedom.

And they want it 6 months ago.

They want to make their own decisions and be in charge of their own destinies.

As we established earlier, they have all the answers.

What they haven’t figured out (yet) is they don’t know any of the questions.

I feel relatively confident speaking about this phenomenon because I was once a Senior.  Man was I stupid (and by stupid, I mean more stupid than now).

Comments: 5
Tags: graduation, high school seniors, kindergarten, seniors

When I was a kid if your teacher wanted to speak to parents there were two choices.

The dreaded parent-teacher conference or pin a note to your shirt.

Both simple, but effective.

The conference was the most stressful.

Not for the teacher or my parents, but for me (I get it… I’m not working up to my potential).

The note pinned to the chest wasn’t as bad.  In fact, there was at least a 50/50 chance it contained good news (class party, holiday program, possibly the teacher’s impending retirement).

The note did have a slight downside.  It was a golden opportunity for the teacher to stab you in the name of good communication.

This didn’t seem fair to me, but it was hard to argue when I had tears in my eyes and blood on my shirt (or vice versa).

Somewhere along the way, these tried and true methods weren’t good enough.

Teachers started using the telephone (back when phones were attached to the wall).

Nothing ruins dinner (or supper) like a phone call from your teacher.

Actually, that’s not true.  Nothing ruins dinner (or supper) like a spanking after a phone call from your teacher (I wouldn’t personally know, but there might have been a yardstick involved).

As times have changed, so have the communication methods of teachers and schools.

In the last ten years email has been the tool of choice.

School districts also begun to use parent notification services to contact hundreds or even thousands of people at one time (examples are Alert Now, School Reach, and School Messenger).

A well-run school has always prided itself on keeping open lines of communication with its parents and stakeholders.

Now, that’s all changed.

There is still communication, but the school no longer controls it.

A year ago, I thought Twitter was going to be how information would be passed along.

Now, I’m not so sure.

I think it may be Facebook (but this theory is only good for about 3 seconds… which is how long it will take for some punk kid to invent something better than Facebook).

In the last month I’ve been amazed how quickly news is shared on Facebook.

An incident (good or bad) can happen at school and the Facebook world knows about it before the school can contact parents.

It used to be when you called a family their response was “Thanks for letting us know.”

Now it’s “Yeah, we saw that on Facebook 20 minutes ago.”

This is going to present a whole new set of challenges to school districts.

We are no longer controlling our message/news to our communities.

Our communities are controlling it.

I’m not sure where this new type of communication will lead schools, but I know where I’m going.

Facebook.

At least until something better comes along.

Follow PrincipalsPage (or his alter ego Michael Smith) on Facebook (if you can’t beat them, join them).

Comments: 4
Tags: Alert Now, Facebook, parent teacher conference, School Messenger, School Reach, Twitter