Death, Taxes, and Hotel Workout Rooms.

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There is very little you can count on in this world.

Politicians.  Nope.

Tiger Woods.  I don’t think so.

Anything good on TV.  Probably not (I think we need more channels).I Need a Fancy Excercise Outfit.

Swine Flu sweeping the country?  Not this year (or ever).

But all is not lost.

Even in 2010, you can still be sure of 3 things.

One, you will die.  I’m not exactly sure when or how, but it will happen (sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you are better off hearing it from me than some random stranger…).

Second, every government body known to man will tax you until you are beyond poor (and then when you run out of money, they will try to raise your taxes).

Third and most importantly to me, when you enter a hotel workout room it is a 100% mortal lock guarantee you will see a couple of things.

As you enter the surprisingly small room with a very strange smell, you will instantly notice the piece of workout equipment you want to use is broken.

You want to ride the stationary bike for 60 minutes before your big meeting?  Sorry, it won’t start.

Want to spend some time on the treadmill to relax before a presentation?  I don’t think so, because it needs to be repaired.

Simply want to lift weights to relieve some stress?  Not today, half of them are missing.

It never fails.

The other thing you will ALWAYS see in a hotel workout room is someone “working out” who has never “worked out” in their life.

You can recognize this person by the fact that they spend most of their time trying to figure out how to start each and every piece of exercise equipment.

They pretty much just wander around for an hour (often in a very sheik sweat suit).

When they do figure out how to start a machine, they “workout” hard for 4 minutes.

After they finish, they sprint to get a drink of water like they’ve been in the desert for 17 days.

I like it when life is predictable.

I would like it better if I was immortal and didn’t have to pay taxes.

These two are important because I will never find a stair stepper that works when I need one.

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4 Responses to “Death, Taxes, and Hotel Workout Rooms.”


  1. Debbie
    on Apr 16th, 2010
    @ 6:11 am

    And what’s up with hotel hot tubs? People who would never consider buying one for their home strip down to their swimsuits and get in a tub of hot water with strangers! Not only that, but there’s enough bleach in those things to choke a horse. I know what happened to Michael Jackson’s skin – he sat in too many hotel hot tubs!

    Michael Smith Reply:

    @Debbie, There’s a reason they put so much bleach in hot tubs.

    I’m just saying…


  2. Diane
    on Apr 16th, 2010
    @ 7:33 am

    LOL at both Michael and Debbie. You both nailed it.


  3. Mr. Eller
    on Apr 24th, 2010
    @ 2:45 am

    I wish more people would write blogs like this that are actually interesting to read. With all the garbage floating around on the net, it is refreshing to read a blog like yours.

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