Fit to be Tied?

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Nothing Says Summer is Over... Like Me Putting on a Tie.Now that school is out for the summer, I have had some time to take a step back and reflect.

In the last couple of weeks, I have been able to contemplate the many accomplishments of our school district over the course of the 2007-2008 year.

I feel really good about our test scores, hiring decisions, the financial choices we have made, and the overall direction of the district.

As an administrator it is my hope that each year we can continue to emphasize discipline, structure, advancements in technology, and maintaining good relationships with teachers and parents.

So all in all, I would consider this school year an unqualified success. This is not to say that we don’t have plenty of new challenges to face in 2008-2009, but I feel we are on the right track.

But there is one thing that continues to bother me about school and my job as an administrator.


I have touched on this subject before, but in my mind it is an issue that bears discussing again (and maybe again, or at least until I get some satisfaction or some golf shirts).

Who is the mental midget who thought it was a good idea to wrap fabric around our necks? I am guessing it was someone who was not employed in a 100 year old, 3 story brick building in which the scorching heat of August is unbearable.

And if that isn’t bad enough, this person decided we should hold our ties in place by making a really tight knot right against our necks.

Did they not notice that one of the neck’s primary functions is to allow us to breathe?

And if it isn’t bad enough that ties continue to affect my ability to take in oxygen (which seems to add to the quality of my life), they also constantly get in the way while I am eating lunch.

I am a simple man. I don’t ask for a lot, but during my lunch hour I do like to breathe and eat. Preferably without getting pudding all over my expensive tie (I don’t mean to brag, but some of my ties cost upwards of $20 apiece).

The only thing I can figure is the tie was invented by a woman, most likely a woman scorned.

Who else would have the necessary amount of pent up anger to make males suffer like this?

Another clue is that I notice female administrators seldom wear ties (and yes, by seldom I do mean never).

I am here to demand equal rights on this whole wearing a tie issue.

Why should males continue to suffer? It is time society takes into account the important roles we play in fatherhood, running schools, coaching our children’s sports, mowing the yard, and other stuff (I really don’t have any other stuff…pretty much all we do is work, coach, and mow. As a male I am confident enough to admit that we are quite simple creatures).

I say ties should be banned until something equally uncomfortable is discovered for women.

They should feel the pain that we are forced to go through up to 5 to 6 days a week (I am counting church…or the occasional Saturday school function).

It is time for all males to throw down the gauntlet (and their ties).

There is nothing more miserable than getting up and putting on a dress shirt and tie.

What? High heels are worse than ties. Are you sure?

Childbirth is more painful than a Windsor knot?


It’s that bad? This is the first I have heard of this. Why didn’t somewhere share this information with me earlier?

Okay, never mind. At least I can loosen my tie if it gets hot.

And as bad as ties are on a hot humid day, I don’t ever recall needing an epidural.

My guess is as you were reading this blog, you never expected to see it end with the word epidural. The amount of time reflecting on the state of my school year all the way to epidurals is pretty much an average 20 minute period in the day for me.

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5 Responses to “Fit to be Tied?”

  1. JackieB
    on Jun 7th, 2008
    @ 9:33 am

    “There is nothing more miserable than getting up and putting on a dress shirt and tie.”

    Really? Try wearing a skintight synthetic polymer affixed to half of your body. Then put on the high heels.

  2. FourGMom
    on Jun 15th, 2008
    @ 5:02 am

    Amen. Try chasing the runner from Room 104 in high heels and a skirt.

  3. Bama Samuels
    on Dec 22nd, 2009
    @ 9:29 am

    I am in full agreement that ties should be banned. No matter what type of work a man does, he should not be choked all day long with a tie.
    BAN the TIE should be our battle-cry!

  4. Glen G
    on May 14th, 2010
    @ 12:51 pm

    Sorry, I disagree. Well, I’m not really sorry, because I really LIKE wearing a necktie! Indeed, I wish I could get into a job — like school principal — where wearing a tie is expected. I’ve yet to meet a man who didn’t look his best in a suit & tie. When I did student teaching (fall 1975) the high school teacher I was assigned to told me to be sure to wear a necktie daily, since among other reasons, it symbolizes the guy with authority. Now hardly any male teachers wear a tie in the classroom — and we all know how teacher authority in the classroom has gone south!

    Michael Smith Reply:

    @Glen G, It wouldn’t be a bad thing if more teachers wore ties.

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