Going to Disneyworld. And Yet, We Hate Mice.

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As I slop down this blog, it occurs to me that we only have two more days until the end of our semester.

I would celebrate this fact, but exhaustion prevents me from doing anything more than breathing and blinking.

If the stars align a little later, I’m going to take blinking out of the equation during what I believe is a well-deserved nap (which I’ve noticed Buddy the Dog is doing… for the last 4 1/2 hours… straight… hasn’t moved… may be dead for all I know…).

Once school is out I won’t have time to celebrate or nap.Since When Do Humans Like Mice?

You see (or read), we are going on a Griswold Family Vacation.  But not to Walley World.



Yeah, you heard me.  Disneyworld and I’m not happy about it.

Why my disgust?

I don’t know.  Maybe you should ask the Tech Queen.  She doesn’t want to go either.

I’m assuming after typing the last 3 sentences that we qualify for the “Worst Parents Ever Award”.  Hopefully, the trophy presentation will be held next week so I won’t have to go to Disney.

Neither of us has ever been to Disneyworld or Disneyland.

Actually, we don’t even know which is which.  As Chevy Chase as my witness, I don’t know which one is in Orlando but I’m about to find out.

“The Happiest Place on Earth”.  Really?

I don’t think so.

I think the Happiest Place on Earth is the Teacher’s Lounge 45 seconds after the bell rings the day Winter or Summer Vacation begins.

All of those stale left-over treats (why can’t teachers put the lid back on the Tupperware container???) and no kids within 500 feet.

I’ve noticed people come out of the woodwork when I say we don’t want to go to Disney.

It’s the same people who bugged me about “When are you getting married?” and “When are  you starting a family?” and “When are you going to take some anger management classes?”

I hate those people.

I’m not overly enthusiastic about spending Christmas standing in line for a ride on which I could die.  I get enough experience with vomiting at work.

Plus, I’m assuming these rides are run and maintained by disillusioned carnie workers.

Don’t misunderstand me.  The carnie workers are my people.

I’m a big fan of anyone with a combined total of 17 tattoos and piercings (there goes my readership from county fair employees and tattoo shops…).

I just don’t want them double-checking (or not) all of the bolts on a thrill ride seconds before my untimely death.

I want to go out like Buddy.  In my sleep (he’s not really dead… just tired from… all of his previous naps).

As an added bonus, I’m assuming there will be other children at Disney.

Don’t get me wrong.  I like kids.

I love mine.

I just don’t like other people’s kids when I’m on vacation.

I only like other kids when I’m at school.

Maybe that’s because I can’t control them when I’m not working at school.

Or more likely, it’s because their parents can’t control them.

We will have to make sure we pack our “Teacher’s Looks”.  I love firing those off in public when parents aren’t looking.

I guess it doesn’t matter.  I will be spending 7 days getting my picture taken with Mickey, dining with princesses, and purchasing $14 dollar bottled-waters.

Maybe we will like it.  And if we don’t, at least I’ll have something to blog about.

So next Wednesday we will be flying to Disneyworld (I think that’s the one in Florida).

Unless of course, the park is closed when we arrive.

And just like Clark Griswold, that would make me angry.

I mean angrier.

“Sorry folks, park’s closed. Moose (or Mouse) out front shoulda told ya.”

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9 Responses to “Going to Disneyworld. And Yet, We Hate Mice.”

  1. Pam Franklin
    on Dec 19th, 2009
    @ 11:38 am

    Good luck. I’ve been there twice and hated it both times. Maybe, after you go, I won’t be the only person in the world who hates Disney World. (Hey, at least that will make ME feel better!)

  2. Jenny
    on Dec 19th, 2009
    @ 1:52 pm

    I love Disney World, but I will admit that you have to take the bad with the good if you go during one of the busy times. Last year my family went over Christmas vacation and were told it’s their busiest time of the year. It was packed.

    My advice: WAKE UP EARLY. If you’re staying in the parks, there will be some mornings you can get there earlier than the general public (check with the front desk of the hotel). The one day we managed to get ourselves up and to the park by about 7:30 was the best. We rode 5 or 6 rides in the first hour- and those were top rides, like roller coasters.

    Also, get to know the FastPass system. You put your ticket card into a little machine and it gives you a pass to get on a shorter line. You’ll want to get these early in the day, and preferably just before you get in line for a different attraction. That way, you wait in line for one, and can get on the other shortly after with little or no wait.

    Disney food is crazy expensive, but last time we did the Disney Dining Plan and it worked out great. Definitely try to get reservations before you eat at any sit-down place. Sometimes the restaurants are what make Disney so much fun- we went to a 50′s-themed restaurant where we were served by “Aunt Margie” who prodded us to eat our vegetables and clear our plate before we could order dessert. The Coral Reef restaurant has a wall that opens to their biggest aquarium.

    One last recommendation- DO NOT MISS the “Osbourne Family Spectacle of Lights” in the Streets of America (Hollywood Studios Park). It’s the best holiday light display I’ve ever seen, and it is choreographed to the music. The SpectroMagic parade, Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular, Fantasmic!, and IllumiNations are also pretty fantastic shows. There’s a Christmas celebration that’s almost a service, with choirs and an orchestra, too, if that’s your thing (it’s in Epcot).

    If it comforts you at all, instead of heavily tattooed carnies, most workers at DisneyWorld are college students on internships or local people of all ages.

    Disney can get a little crazy, but I think it helps to go early (and in some cases, stay later than other people). Know that it’s going to be super busy, and you will spend time waiting in lines, and that parents are by far more annoying than most kids- and hopefully, if you go in expecting that part, it won’t be quite as bad. Our family still had a great time last year, even though our youngest is 18. There’s a lot to see and do, both with and without waiting in line.

    I hope you have a great time!

  3. nbrach
    on Dec 19th, 2009
    @ 5:26 pm

    A note from the MIL ~ The “Tech Queen” actually did go to Disney World when she was four. She loved the “Mad Tea Party Ride” the very best. She always loved the rides, and the faster and scarier the ride, the more she loved it… Hmmmmm….. Madhttp://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/80/TeacupsMadTeaParty_wb.jpg

  4. KM
    on Dec 19th, 2009
    @ 5:44 pm

    Thank you for your blog. You are our beacon of light in this long dark tunnel of chaos that is school administration.

  5. Alfred Thompson
    on Dec 19th, 2009
    @ 9:07 pm

    It looks like my family trip to Disney World overlaps with yours. I will not get there until late the Sunday after Christmas but will stay until the next Saturday. Unlike you we’re all pretty excited to be going.

  6. mcorbett76
    on Dec 20th, 2009
    @ 7:19 am

    Disney World can be fun if the trip is planned well. Go to mousesavers.com and check out their tips for planning the day. Also, with young children, I would HIGHLY recommend a mid-afternoon trek back to the hotel. If you try to make your kids last the whole day, you will join the thousands of other parents who are sitting in the park around 3:00pm about to strangle their kids who are now whining little brats. (This is an observation from a person who has no kids, btw, but saw the insanity some parents inflicted on their youngsters.) When we went in 2006 just after New Year’s, we arrived around 9 or 10 am and left around 2 or 3. We planned to hit only the highlights and only eat one meal in the parks. We would occasionally come back after 6 or so when most parents with children had gone home. Using the FastPass system and some common sense, you can hit the biggest rides with less than 20 minute waits if it’s planned well. Bring your own water bottles and fill up for free at water fountains throughout the park. I”ve also heard people will buy disney gifts outside the park and then surprise their kids with them once in the park therefore not having to buy disney brand stuff at the hiked-up price the parks require. Good luck! I do hope you enjoy it, but do not try to do everything every day or you will absolutely hate it!

  7. Pam Franklin
    on Dec 21st, 2009
    @ 8:49 am

    If crowds don’t bother you, you will probably like it fine. I despise crowds, and left the Animal Kingdom for the motel room after about 10 minutes.

    My favorite ride at Disney Land – yes – I’ve been there twice, too – was Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride – which was gone at Disney World on our last trip. Now it is some Pooh on a Blustery Day thing. Mr. Toad was much cooler than Pooh!

    (I liked Disney Land much more than Disney World – fewer people, smaller park.)

    I truly do hope you have fun! I don’t mind being the Only Person in the Universe Who Hates Disney World. It makes me unique!

  8. Christy
    on Dec 22nd, 2009
    @ 10:34 am

    have a great time… As far as the teacher looks go, there has been more than one occasion when I am on a bus or walking down the street when I have to catch myself and not say “put that cell phone away.” or “watch your language!” I have pulled out the teacher look a few times with my nieces and nephew.

  9. Reggie D
    on Dec 22nd, 2009
    @ 7:08 pm

    Hey, looks like we’re on the same path. Maybe we will get a chance to say hi!

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