Graduation Can Be Hell.

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It’s a special time of year.It Can Get a Little Warm.

School is out.  Students are off enjoying summer vacation.  The buildings are empty and quiet (not sure if this is the best use of taxpayers’ money, but I force myself to live with it).

Only one thing left.

Besides scooping off the top of my desk (can you say overdue).

Graduation.

I’m not going to lie, it’s a couple of stress-filled hours.

Is everything ready?  Will the students be on their best behavior? 

How long into the ceremony before the sound of an air horn rattles my insides?

It’s a lot of whistling/screaming/yelling by the crowd and me shaking my head in disgust (on the inside… never on the outside).

And if all of this wasn’t enough, there’s always the added pressure of checking the weather forecast every 14 seconds.  This process begins about 4 months in advance of graduation.

I’m not sure why I check because the forecast for graduation day is always the same.

Sunshine.  No breeze.  100% humidity.  Drought-like conditions.  And if that wasn’t enough, the temperature is always between 107 degrees and boiling.

It’s hell.

If hell was located inside a packed high school gymnasium.

I guess one could argue that makes me the devil, but let’s not go there.

Every year it’s the same thing.  I sweat through my shirt.  Then my suit.

This all happens while I’m getting dressed.

Once I arrive at graduation, I feel like I’m standing in a puddlle.

But sadly there’s no water leak, it’s just my shoes and socks acting as a dam for the river of water running down my back.

I don’t think internal organs can sweat, but I could swear my kidneys and liver are moister than usual.

I try to keep my tie dry, but I usually give up about 45 minutes into the big event when I begin using it as a towel.

This may seem gross, but it’s not as gross as me shaking every students hand with my giant drenched paw.

It’s like I dipped it in the locker room urinal.

It’s comforting to know my last interaction with students after 13 years of education is me creeping them out with my 15-year-old-boy-on-a-first-date-clammy-cold-sweaty hand.

Graduation is a wonderful event in students’ and families’ lives.

I just think it would be more special if it would snow

Just once.

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One Response to “Graduation Can Be Hell.”


  1. Kelly
    on May 29th, 2012
    @ 8:52 am

    I think it’s even worse up at the top of the bleachers in the balcony because you chose that spot praying for a cool breeze to come through the windows and wishing the sound from the PA carried that far up, so you could actually hear what everyone is saying, instead of sitting there in a puddle of sweat trying to lip-read from that far away. Just sayin’. (-: At least the graduates were too excited to pass out in the those hot black robes.

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