I Hate Copiers.

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Am I the only one who has an intense loathing for copying machines?

Why is it every single time I use one it’s out of paper?

How is it I’m the only person in America who is refilling these machines?

Surely, somewhere a copier runs out of paper and someone steps up and reloads it with a couple of reams of paper.

It’s mathematically impossible that I’m the only one doing this.

But it happens.Copier Down.  Big Surprise.

Day after day.

Week after week.

It’s my version of Groundhog Day (an underrated film by the way).

I’ve even tried to wait these dastardly machines out.

I stand off to the side until some poor soul comes along and actually refills it.

And you know what happens when I go to use it a mere seconds after they’re finished?

Out of paper.

Every time.

It never fails.

These machines hate me.

I’m a college graduate and yet I’m clueless how to undo a paper jam in a copier (to make me feel worse, they even provide a map).

Don’t even get me started on what happens when you need to make one copy right before an important meeting.


Just one.

A single copy.

Machine is broke.

There is always a handwritten sign taped to the top of the machine that says “Out of Order”.

Which really means “The copier knew you were coming and it went on vacation because it thinks you are a gigantic loser”.

But luckily for me, I only need one copy for a meeting starting in 30 seconds.

And the repair guy is coming.

In four days.

As humans we invented them to make our lives easier.

And yet the only thing they do is mock me.

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9 Responses to “I Hate Copiers.”

  1. Warren Purdy
    on Sep 25th, 2010
    @ 1:10 am

    Gosh you’re an upbeat guy (I paraphrase). My daughter (the one who has returned home for a few months, the one related to TES) and I know the film off by heart, Could I recommend one for you – an Aussie film called The Castle. It may not translate (it didn’t when I showed it to my English class in Essex) but it’s worth finding.

  2. Melanie
    on Sep 25th, 2010
    @ 5:17 pm

    Ah, copy machine blues…I’ve played them often. Unfortunately the recent version of it in my life is that we are now on paper rationing. 500 sheets of paper per month and that’s it. As an English teacher, this is a challenge I had not expected.

  3. Anna
    on Sep 26th, 2010
    @ 6:32 am

    I liked this. I hate copiers. But I like this.

  4. Sue
    on Sep 26th, 2010
    @ 8:24 am

    Copiers are the toilet paper roll holders of the workplace. It does feel like I’m the lucky winner who gets to refill both.

    Michael Smith Reply:

    @Sue, Over 2500 comments… and this may well be my favorite.

    Thanks for the compariso. And the laugh.

  5. Angie
    on Sep 27th, 2010
    @ 9:09 am

    Don’t play slot machines.

  6. Tim
    on Sep 27th, 2010
    @ 1:45 pm

    So, we were all excited to get a new copier this year because our old one was worn out. The repair man had his own desk in our office. It was bad.

    The new copier makes me wish, daily, that the old one was back, and I kind of miss seeing the copy repair guy…

    I feel your pain…

  7. Pat
    on Oct 18th, 2010
    @ 2:30 pm

    At my school, we were all given a certain number of packs of paper for the semester. When we copied, we had to use our own paper so we all were loading paper in the machine (which I think caused more wear and tear on it but no one asked me). I always felt like I hit the jackpot when someone left their paper in the machine! We also were given a set number of copies so we had to use our own passcode to copy. I loved having paper and copies left over because I could wheel and deal for things I needed. It pays to be resourceful! :)

    Michael Smith Reply:

    @Pat, I’ve never been in a school that has copy limits… or a barter system.

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