I Need a Book Deal.

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Consultants make a lot of money.  And by a lot, I mean a boatload.

It’s like robbery, but they use a PowerPoint instead of a gun.

This leads me to believe I need a book deal.

Each and every speaker I am forced to listen to has a book they are pushing.This is Genuis.  My Book Won't Have Actual Words Inside.

I’m not a smart man, but it’s occurred to me that these speakers aren’t giving away things for free.  Especially their “knowledge”.

And then there is me.

No book.  No t-shirts.  No CD’s (do they still make CD’s???).  No advertisements. 

No nothing.

Everything is free.

All of my “knowledge” is out there for anyone to use. 

I get the impression these speakers aren’t even concerned about selling their books.  If you want to buy their book great; if you don’t who cares (certainly not them).

Why their disinterest in selling books?

Because some organization just paid them big-money to come and speak.  And in far too many cases, waste most of my day.

They aren’t selling their book as much as using it to prop up the idea that they are an expert.

And sadly, this scam seems to be working.

I seem to be getting the short-end of the deal.

They write a book (supposedly… who actually knows because no one ever reads it).  They put together a PowerPoint presentation with way too many slides with way too many words on them.  Then they get paid to give a speech because they are an “author”.

All of this makes them an expert (as long as they go more than 100 miles from their former place of employment).

Good deal for them.

Bad deal for me because I have to sit through their speech.

Often times, they casually mention their book in the speech/PowerPoint (like a thousand times…).  I don’t buy the book (nobody buys the book).  I leave the speech angry because my day has been wasted (everyone leaves the speech angry… except them).

I drive home with high-blood pressure (not really) and they swing by the bank on the way to the airport to cash their rather large check.

It’s a crime.

I need a book.  This whole blog thing isn’t paying the bills.

Don’t get me wrong.  Needing a book and writing a book are two different things.

I’m not the least bit interested in actually writing a book.

That would take both talent and patience.  And a coherent thought.  I have none of these.

I am looking for a publishing company that will simply set up a “fake” book with my picture on the back.

If someone would be kind enough to do this (and I’m willing to pay… upwards of $43 for this service), I can get started putting together a PowerPoint.

Then I will hit the road.

Of course, I will only give speeches when I’m at least 100 miles from home.

I certainly can’t declare myself an expert where people know me.

That would just be crazy.

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9 Responses to “I Need a Book Deal.”

  1. CSteinberg
    on Dec 15th, 2009
    @ 7:06 pm


    I just finished the last two days training Admins on some Technology. In my “free” presentation, part of what I said is the same as what you have here. And allow me to pose a challenge to these “Expert Presenters” on Educational Innovation….

    I challenge them to get involved in a school (one school) for a year and implement the things they talk about with all the restrictions, policies, mandates and confines that we have in the “real world classroom.”

    I do believe that there is power, but most of these presenters talk for an hour and never provide a concrete path to the goal and objective. It all remains very abstract….. but then again.,… that may be the point.

  2. Angie
    on Dec 16th, 2009
    @ 8:41 am

    Okay, here’s what you do: take your funniest posts (ha) and put them together as a book. Something along the lines of “Amusing Reflections of a Public Superintendent.” You can self-publish online and put it here. I tell you, several people would buy it, especially if you market it as a “great gift to give to the educators in your family!” Eventually you will be able to contact districts and contract with them to be one of those “feel-good speakers.” You bring along your book, hawk it, and BAM! you’re one of those speakers you detest. (But you will be bringing in a boatload of money.) I will happily accept a small portion of your profits for my guidance.

  3. RT
    on Dec 18th, 2009
    @ 8:29 am

    What’s this “book” going to cost?

    Michael Smith Reply:

    @RT, Whatever it costs… it will be too much.

    Just my opinion.

    Since I know me… I’m not willing to pay hardly anything.

  4. Computer Chick
    on Dec 18th, 2009
    @ 9:16 am

    A rockin Principals Page t-shirt…..who needs seasonal sweaters if you have a t-shirt that proclaims your love of all things studious??

    Michael Smith Reply:

    @Computer Chick, PrincipalsPage t-shirts…. I like it.

    I like Buddy the Dog t-shirts bettter. :)

  5. C. Lum
    on Dec 19th, 2009
    @ 3:02 am

    You’re the best.

  6. principalwells
    on Dec 25th, 2009
    @ 11:12 am

    I’ve had some of the very same feelings. It’s also kind of strange how we education types look at speakers like celebrities. “Oh I hope I can eat lunch at the presenter’s table!!!!!” I’ve come to think of it as a type of evolutionary process. Listening to speakers has it’s place in the continuum of change. When I first started attending conferences, I was amazed at what I was hearing. Then I became more picky as to who I listened to. Then I began to think, what do they know that I don’t. So perhaps it is time to write a book. Because there are other people who are still like I was when I went to that first conference. Now there are people who need to hear our ideas….so they too can be inspired to make changes in their teaching and in their schools.

  7. Charles Sipe
    on Jan 8th, 2010
    @ 5:17 pm

    You could be like Gary Vaynerchuck or Randy Pausch and dictate the whole book and have an editor put it all together. Or you could take your best blog posts and repurpose them as a book, like Seth Godin has done with Small is the New Big. Chris Brogan has said that you don’t make much from the actual book, but it gives you tremendous credibility.

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