There is a phrase that a school administrator can hear that lets them know their day is about to get worse. Just the thought of it sends chills down my spine.
There is no way to hear this very common phrase and have it followed by “you just won the lottery, a supermodel wants to date you, or the school board is about to double your salary.”
These particular words can only be followed by bad news, worse news, or I wish I had never been born news.
Don’t get me wrong, this phrase is not as bad as when you ask your doctor if this will hurt and he says “just bend over and try to think happy thoughts- this will only take several minutes.”
Or when the same doctor tells you “best case- you have two weeks left to live- it is a shame our office couldn’t get in touch with you last week before we went on vacation”.
The phrase is “I just want to give you a heads-up.”
This can only be followed by a reaction of, crap my day just went down the toilet and I wish I was still a teacher, or better yet- unemployed.
When anyone who works in a school walks up to you and says “I just want to give you a heads-up” it is usually them telling you what someone else has done, said, failed to do, or is about to do and you need to sprint in what will most likely be a failed attempt to stop the person in question.
Examples include, but are not limited to:
“I just want to give you a heads-up”- the toilets are overflowing in the theater and the musical starts in 7 minutes.
“I just want to give you a heads-up”- we may have miscounted the ballots for homecoming queen.
“I just want to give you a heads-up”- the art room is on fire, again.
“I just want to give you a heads-up”- there is a deer loose in the high school and he seems upset.
“I just want to give you a heads-up”- someone just burnt popcorn in the teachers’ lounge, again.
“I just want to give you a heads-up”- an angry parent is in your office and there are sixteen more waiting in the hallway.
“I just want to give you a heads-up”- the Chief of Police just called and wants to know if you have 5 1/2 hours to talk.
“I just want to give you a heads-up”- rumor has it there may be some trouble with cheerleading tryouts.
“I just want to give you a heads-up”- we may have lost a kindergarten student at recess.
This is why I shudder at the mere thought of “I just want to give you a heads-up.” It is such a nice way of saying, “What I am about to tell you will make you blood pressure rise to a record level and will most certainly shorten your life span by months, if not years.”
So the next time your hear this phrase, at least you know to prepare for the worst.
I just wanted to give you a heads-up.
Phil Gaton"
Angie
on Nov 13th, 2007
@ 8:38 pm:
So everyone has problems with cheerleader tryouts? I thought it was just me.
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