It’s getting closer to that special time of the school year.
No, not summer (because that is beyond special… and there are days when I feel it will never get here).
It’s almost Interview Season.
This also means I will have a dull headache for the next 6 months. It’s the exact same feeling I get when I eat too much sugar.
Openings to fill. Resumes to sort through by the hundreds (please stop telling me there’s a teacher shortage). And reference checks to be made.
Work, work, work.
Which isn’t a bad thing. Actually it’s job security.
Even so, Interview Season = Dull Headache just Cookies in the Lounge = Dull Headache.
I enjoy meeting new teachers during interviews.
They are so young. So enthusiastic. So upbeat and positive. So desperate for a job that pays them actual money.
There’s just so many of them.
After about interview #47, I start to show my age.
I get confused and disoriented.
There comes a time when I can’t remember if I’ve asked a question or even for the candidate’s name.
Who am I kidding? At a certain point I can’t remember my own name (sadly this happens way before interview #47).
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind interviewing (see: job security). I just wish I had a special huge red button to push the second I know it’s not going to work out.
Sort of a “Thanks for playing our game… now GET OUT!” button.
This isn’t true. Or nice.
What I need is a giant lever to pull.
If this sounds unduly harsh, it’s because it is.
In my defense, interviews are like first dates. You know within 2 minutes if it’s a match.
I don’t want to embarrass the person interviewing, I just want to pull the lever and have them fall into a giant abyss (just to prove I’m not mean, I want the abyss to be deep enough that I don’t hear their crying and screaming as they fight for a final breathe… because there’s no need to make things worse).
Think about it. Within 120 seconds you know if you want to hire this person, but yet you feel like it’s only fair to spend at least 30 minutes interviewing them.
Actually, now that I think about it this may be worse than pulling the lever.
Maybe, interviews should be shorter.
Maybe, it’s a disservice to drag them out when they aren’t going well.
Maybe, I would be doing everyone a favor by pulling the lever.
Or maybe not.
Interviews remind me of a game show.
Think about it. A school gets 100 resumes.
They are then brought up on stage (the interview) and asked a series of secret questions.
No one knows the correct answer, so the candidates do their best to guess what the school/interviewer wants to hear.
At the end of the game a winner is chosen and the losers (not really “losers”) have no idea why they didn’t win.
It’s a game show without the lovely parting gifts.
People are so excited to get chosen to play the game and so disappointed when they don’t win.
No job. No car. No boat. No vacation package.
It’s a game show without any of the good parts.
And of course, I don’t have a lovely sidekick, a bad suit, big hair, or a long microphone.
Alex, I would like “Student Discipline” for $100.