Soccer is over.
Let’s all take a moment to comprehend the significance of this event. I would invite everyone over for a celebration of cake and ice cream, but I don’t have the time or the interest in having people in my house.
Plus, you don’t know where I live. And if you do, I just find that creepy (and a little sad).
While soccer has ended, I haven’t had much time off (it ended just in time; right before I went insane from watching a pack of 1st graders chase the ball… why can’t they just SPREAD OUT!?).
You see, the unemployed one’s softball season started about 12 seconds after the last soccer game ended.
My daughter literally walked off the soccer field and grabbed her softball glove (the pink one… don’t ask… something about it needs to match her outfit and her hair thingies).
I thought my coaching career had ended when I took my first job in administration.
My daughter doesn’t seem to have time to get a job, but she sure has time for soccer, softball, swimming, skiing, riding her bike, going to science camp, being a girl scout, and the 17 other things that we have to drive her to and from.
I have noticed that helping run a school district takes less time and organization than it does to schedule and provide transportation for her assorted activities.
As if being in charge of her taxi service wasn’t enough work for us, we volunteered to coach (again… won’t I ever learn?). Hopefully the Queen of Technology can whip up an Excel spreadsheet for the stats (although, now she prefers Google Spreadsheets, whatever that is).
Let’s all take another moment to ask ourselves… “Am I a glutton for punishment for coaching or just a moron?”
Don’t answer that, I think the answer came to me about 7 minutes into the first practice.
Have you ever tried to teach 1st and 2nd grade girls to hit, throw, catch, run the bases, and everything else that is involved in playing softball?
By the way, I don’t know why the 2nd baseman doesn’t stand directly on 2nd base, so I wish they would stop asking.
Coaching kids this age (or any age) can be complicated.
Plus, their hair is in constant need of being fixed. Although I must say they do look stunning in their matching pink shoes, shorts, gloves, batting helmets, and those hair thingies (when they stay in place).
Who knew NIKE made softball cleats with a pink swoosh on the side (actually the swoosh comes in many colors and it can be changed to match a certain young ladies outfit… which I have done 14 times… but never again… unless she asks and smiles at me).
I must admit that as much as I have tried to teach the girls, they are teaching me more.
The first thing I learned is that they don’t like it when the coach “accidently” hits them with a pitch. Sorry. I am doing the best that I can.
I have also noticed that hitting my own kid doesn’t really bother me. I am a horrible parent, but she needs to learn that the inside part of the plate belongs to ME!
Another thing is, while I knew this would be different than coaching junior high or high school boys, I had no idea how much.
Stay with me here. You may want to sit down.
The girls actually listen.
Yes, that’s right. Girls seem to listen better than boys.
Was I the only one who didn’t know about this?
You tell them to do something and they actually look at you and listen to what you’re saying.
And they don’t play in the dirt. Or spit. Or scratch.
Unfortunately, the girls can’t do everything we show them, but the important thing is they try.
I am astounded that I have stumbled upon this revelation of girls listening better than boys.
When does this stop? When do boys become the better listeners? What changes that makes us so attentive as husbands and fathers?
I hope someone out there knows the answer.
But if you Skype me, I probably won’t hear you.
SportsCenter is on and the louder you talk; the louder I will be forced to turn up the television… in my head.