Each year I try to provide some guidance on New Year’s Resolutions. Generally, my advice is to not make one.
Why start off the year failing miserably… again.
Isn’t it bad enough that most of us failed the last 12 months? Why start off the new year in the hole once again?
Half the people I know will say their resolution is to exercise more.
Who in their right mind thinks it’s a good idea to start exercising during the month of January.
It’s cold. It’s cloudy. It’s dark. It’s a mortal lock that you aren’t going to run, walk, or sweat for the next 3 months.
If you feel the urge (or the peer pressure) to make a resolution, do all of us a favor and make one you can keep.
For example here was (and still is) my advice from last year’s blog:
“When I make a resolution, I try to commit myself to something that I have a snowballs chance of actually doing.
One year it was to take up smoking. Check. Although that didn’t last long.
One year it was to eat fewer vegetables. Check.
One year it was to watch more television. I don’t mean to brag, but I nailed that one (got off to a fast start on January 1 and never looked back).
This year will be no different. The only question is to which resolution shall I commit?
I toyed with the idea of reading more, pursuing a doctorate, writing an intelligent blog, or possibly volunteering at a nursing home.
Let’s not kid ourselves. All of these are well beyond my reach.
So I have settled on the tried and true.
My resolution for 2009 is to be less fat.”
Sadly, like most of you I failed. I’m fatter.
Not a lot more fat, just a little more fat. But fat none the less.
My trip to Disney World didn’t help because their meals only come in one size… “All You Can Eat Buffat Style!”
And Buffat’s are never a good idea. Even if you have Buffat Pants… stay away because the one thing they won’t serve you is self-discipline.
I am relatively confident that I can drop this weight and by January 15, 2010 I will be able to declare my 2009 Resolution a success.
So now it’s time to move on to 2010.
While my advice is not to make a resolution, even I don’t listen to myself.
So here it is….
… my resolution for 2010 is…
…wait for it…
My 2010 Resolution is to “Not Drown!”
On the surface (or slightly below) this seems easy enough. But it’s not.
I can’t swim. I’m celebrating the 13th anniversary of my 29th birthday and I can’t float, tread water, or swim more than 8 feet.
I‘m the poster boy (or old man) for drowning. But not this year.
Not with my 2010 New Year’s Resolution in place.
I am going to take swimming lessons. So between February 1 and the end of April, I will be taking a class that guarantees that I will become a world-class non-drowner.
By the beginning of summer (if all goes well) I should have the skills that will allow me to go down the kiddie slide at my local pool (with floaties on my arms of course), land in the 3 foot shallow water, slash about like a madman, stand up, and live to tell about it.
I’m very excited.
The only downside is if I fail this class, it means I’m dead at the bottom of a pool. Sadly, I won’t be surrounded by loved ones, just some college kid making 8 bucks an hour to teach old people what babies and dogs already instinctively know (how not to drown).
So that’s my plan. At least until April.
Once I’ve accomplished my goal of not dying in the shallow end, I will still have 2/3 of the year to tackle my next resolution.
Since I’m not so great with English, it’s time to move on.
So by the end of 2010, I should be less fat, a Olympic caliber swimmer, and bilingual.
Either way it’s going to be a big year. Or should I say “Grande Year”.