How a plane gets off the ground. Microwaves. The unbelievably cold temperature inside of movie theaters. Why every pencil I’ve ever used is a #2.
How copiers work. The complex engineering system known as an intercom (I have no idea which button to push).
And last but not least, mandated testing.
Oh, and I almost forgot… junior high boys.
But my greatest unsolved mystery is why humans can’t get along with each other, but they are capable of falling in love with other species.
I’m talking about dogs.
We love them.
At least most of us love them.
All the people I trust love them (I just don’t get you cat people).
We absolutely love these animals and they walk on four legs and have brains the size of golf balls.
They also use our yards as restrooms (when you think about it, this isn’t really socially acceptable).
They tear stuff up that’s not theirs (someone owes me 12 bucks for my shredded undies).
We even overlook the fact they seem to have a dysfunctional relationship with the UPS guy and his big brown truck (Buddy and that driver really need some counseling).
They eat us out of house and home and then belch about it.
If you really think about it, they’re sort of disgusting (breath… bad).
And yet we talk to them like they understand.
We spend hours petting them and taking care of their every want and need.
We exercise them when we don’t have time to take care of ourselves.
We hold them like babies (not me and Buddy… other crazies).
We even treat them better than our own children (sorry, Evil Spawn).
And they are dogs.
We seem to get along better with them than we do with our relatives, coworkers, or neighbors.
They become the center of our lives within minutes of meeting them.
Now, if you are a dog person all of this makes perfect sense. If you aren’t a dog person, you probably think I’m weird.
But I don’t care.
Nor do I have the time to convince you Buddy the Dog and I have a special bond you will never understand.
Plus, I have to go.
He needs his belly scratched and you have no idea how grumpy he can get when his belly is itchy.
Maybe I should be an administrator of an animal school.