Off the Grid.

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I’ve been a little lax in my blogging.  The reason… we’re on vacation.

The View From Every Window in Our Cabin.

Well, kind of.

I’m not sure if you can technically call it a vacation when you drive over 19,000 miles with the Evil Spawn and Buddy the Dog in the backseat snoring (if that isn’t bad enough, they both drool while they sleep… and neither one can figure out why the truck seat is wet).

I must admit this obnoxious snoring is better than hearing “Are we there yet?”

To get from our house to the North Shore in Minnesota took approximately 87 hours.

Or at least it seemed like 87 hours (it may have been longer because at one point I passed out).

The trip was so long that I could have sworn we were going in circles.

I kept thinking… I know I’ve seen this “Welcome to Wisconsin” sign at least a dozen times.

That’s the bad news.

The good news is I’ve been able to drop off “The Grid”.

For educators “The Grid” is a triangle.  It goes from your home to school to Wal-mart (feel free to substitute another large mega-billion shopping store of your choice).

It’s a law.  Every teacher and administrator must spend 90% of their time inside their grid (unless school is in session… then it’s 98.5%).

I think there might be some fine print in NCLB that requires us to stay inside this restricted area.

Rumor has it educators who venture outside the “Grid” too often are never heard from again.

It’s the opposite of tenure.

So it’s a fine line between leaving your grid and going insane (and not a little insane… I’m talking Jack Nicholson in The Shining insane).

Because I don’t see the need in chasing the Tech Queen with an ax, we like to go on vacation at least once a year (unfortunately these never take place during school).

This year we headed for the woods.

A cabin in northern Minnesota.

Frighteningly close to my sworn enemies… the Canadians.

People ask me what I have against the good people of Canada.


I just don’t trust them.

Sooner or later they are going to get sick of the cold and storm our borders with the intent of taking Florida just so they can sit on a beach.

Mark my word, it’s coming.

As I sit here and type this blog, I’m within miles of the US-Canadian border (rest easy, I will keep an eye on them and if I can’t chase them back… Buddy the Dog can… unless of course, he’s napping).

So for the next several days I’m officially off “The Grid”.

No ESPN.  No internet.  No email.  No phone calls. No meetings.

No contact with any other human beings (unless it’s on a golf course… and I do apologize for almost hitting you with my drive off #7).

I’m unreachable.

I’m a ghost.

I don’t exist.

At least that’s what I told everyone at school.

Do you think they will believe I pre-wrote this blog and uploaded it before I left?

I guess I’ll never know since I’m not getting their emails.

Or at least I’m not answering them.

It’s good to be off “The Grid”.

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7 Responses to “Off the Grid.”

  1. Olwyn Hughes
    on Jul 23rd, 2010
    @ 8:45 pm

    First of all, watch what you say about us Canadians? Believe it or not we do have beaches and sunshine here as well!!!!

    I hear you on the grid. I haven’t managed to get out of it since school ended in June. I am either on the computer working on school stuff or reading professional books or planning school stuff. It is a disease!

    But, I, too, am going to go off the grid. I am heading out of the country for 5 days. No internet – well, none that I am going to use – no cellphone. Just me and my hubby (without our evil spawn) and the Golden Gate Bridge!


  2. Olwyn Hughes
    on Jul 23rd, 2010
    @ 8:46 pm

    OOPS!!! I meant to say:

    First of all watch what you say about us Canadians!!!!! (exclamation marks for emphasis NOT a question mark)

  3. Aaron
    on Jul 23rd, 2010
    @ 11:23 pm

    I too am offended about the Canadians comment. You have to remember that the majority of the media coverage that we are exposed to is American. We know what happens between the 49th parallel and those beaches in Florida so that is why so many of us fly right past. Now I better get back to WalMart since my school is closed for the evening.
    Enjoy being of the grid. I wish I was there.
    Cheers, eh!

    Michael Smith Reply:

    @Aaron, I am a big fan of the Canadians… I only kid because I care.

    Go Rough Riders (both teams…)!!!

  4. Diane
    on Jul 24th, 2010
    @ 5:30 am

    Isn’t the official bird of Minnesota the mosquito?

    There are some very nice beaches in Canada-I grew up spending two weeks every summer at the beach there. Cocagne, Shediac, Parlee-lots of terrific memories.

  5. Dave
    on Jul 25th, 2010
    @ 7:15 am

    Ahhh yes the long trips. We have one coming up in August. I think we’ll break it into 2 hour stints, except it will take three weeks for a one week vacation.

    You must be like Kreskin – we are lined up at the border – hockey sticks, toques and back bacon in tow.

    BTW its Roughriders here in Sask. Rough Riders was the old Ottawa team. For an update check below – that is when you are “back on the grid.”

  6. Stevie Hesser
    on Jul 29th, 2010
    @ 12:29 pm

    We are all in this alone. — Lily Tomlin

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