As the title of this blog hints (very subtle don’t you think), Santa came to school today.
He showed up right on time for school. No fake notes from a doctor, or weak excuses about being sick from a parent (or grandparent, significant other, or neighbor).
He didn’t sleep in and arrive to 1st hour 20 minutes late just because he had a game last night.
He didn’t have the bass on his car stereo cranked up to the setting labeled- “scare the old lady across the street so she calls the high school office and complains”.
He didn’t squeal his tires or drive too fast in the parking lot.
He didn’t leave the front door of the school open so that all of the cold air comes rushing inside.
He didn’t leave his hat on as he came down the hallway (he is surprisingly polite).
He didn’t walk right in between two teachers trying to hold a conversation (again polite).
He didn’t need to leave the classroom every 3 minutes to use the restroom.
He didn’t show up with his homework only half completed.
He wasn’t difficult at lunch or at recess.
He didn’t have a problem keeping his hands to himself, slamming his locker, or pushing in line at the water fountain. No bumping into his buddies as they walk down the hall.
He didn’t forget to bring those papers to the office that we sent home so mom and dad could sign.
He didn’t speak in class before raising his hand.
He didn’t act rudely or speak poorly to other students.
He wasn’t difficult with the subs and he didn’t try to tell them his name was U.R. Gross, Seymour Butts, or Jim Shoes.
And most importantly he remembered to turn his cell phone off so that it didn’t ring in class.
Actually, he didn’t do anything wrong all day. Santa was a model student. If every student acted like him, all administrators would soon be unemployed.
The only thing Santa Claus really did (besides everything right), was take one long look at the teachers, janitors, cooks, secretaries, administrators, and everyone else I just forgot to mention and shake his head.
He asked if he could address the entire group. I agreed even though a fat, old guy in a red suit in school seems a little odd to me. (Anyone who spends that much time with deer and elves kind of gives me the creeps.)
But who am I to judge?
We were all on the edge of our seats as he began to speak.
He said, “You look worn out, tired, exhausted, mentally fatigued, and just maybe you all are on your last ounce of patience.” He is a very perceptive man. I couldn’t have agreed with him more.
Then he said, “Why do PE teachers wear shorts in the winter?” I had no explanation for him. But I am getting off the subject.
Then he announced that the best present he could give us was the next two weeks off. We get to spend the time with our families and not supervising hallways, lunchrooms, games, or going to meetings.
I love Santa, although would it kill him to throw a winning lottery ticket my way?
So, as I begin my break, the staff of PrincipalsPage.com (me) would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, and most importantly a very enjoyable Festivus (a holiday for the rest of us).
Now it is time for the airing of the grievances (Google it or click on Festivus for a more in depth explanation).