Swimming Purgatory.

Tags: , , ,

This Isn't Good.

My swimming lessons are over.

I bring this up because so many people ask me how they are going (although not nearly as many as ask about Buddy the Dog).

The good news is I didn’t drown.

The bad news is I can still only partially swim.

Unfortunately, being able to partially swim doesn’t really help when you are in a drowning situation.

In fact, it may be worse than not being able to swim at all.

Before I started taking lessons, I would simply get in a pool and sink to the bottom.

Quick and painless.

No harm.  No foul.

The end wouldn’t take long.

I could go in peace.

Now, if I get in a pool I don’t sink to the bottom nearly as quickly.

Because now I know the proper technique to swim.

I have a faint understanding of what to do with my hands, arms, shoulders, legs, back, head, and breathing (it isn’t easy "not-swimming" when you are thinking about 117 different things).

Sadly, I can’t implement all of these techniques for an extended period of time.

Which means if I’m drowning, I will swim roughly 20 yards AND then sink like a rock.

I’m no rocket scientist, but I’m not sure if I got my money’s worth out of these lessons.

My teacher said if I was in a boat and it capsized I would be fine.

She said adrenaline would take over and I would be amazed by how well I could swim.

She might be right.

Especially, if I’m in the 3-foot end of the ocean and I have time to put on my swimming goggles (floaties wouldn’t hurt either).

Tags: , , ,

2 Responses to “Swimming Purgatory.”


  1. Diane
    on Apr 21st, 2010
    @ 4:25 pm

    That should be your profile picture-you in goggles and swimmies. And flippers.

    LOL’d at “Which means if I’m drowning, I will swim roughly 20 yards AND then sink like a rock.” Too funny.

    Michael Smith Reply:

    @Diane, What’s left of my career would be gone if I posted a picture of myself in flippers.

    :)

Leave a Reply

Disclaimer

While this site operates with the knowledge and awareness of the Tuscola CUSD #301 School Board, Tuscola, Illinois, the content and opinions posted here may or may not represent their views personally or collectively, nor does it attempt to represent the official viewpoint of Tuscola CUSD #301 administrators or employees.