I’m Old. And Evidently, Fat.


In the last few days it has come to my attention that being old has nothing to do with age.

At least that’s what I want to believe as I shuffle towards another birthday (I can hardly wait for the day when I can drive a Rascal Scooter through the aisles of Wal-mart).

How old am I?I Might Be Old and Fat, but I Could Cover Some Ground on a Rascal Scooter.

I almost hate to say it out loud. I will soon be having my second 21st birthday.

When I was a kid someone celebrating (or in my case barely acknowledging) their 42nd birthday was old. And near death. That’s if they weren’t already dead.

At the very least, they were a sad pathetic drooling shell of their former youthful self.

But how things change.

Now a 50th, 60th, or even an 80th birthday doesn’t seem that bad to me. In fact if I’m lucky enough to make it that far, I will feel like I’ve beat the system.

Life is like playing cards. High card wins. Which means another birthday always trumps death.

When you work at a school, I’ve found that students think everyone is old. To them there are young teachers (under 25 and not married) and the old teachers (the rest of us).

I like children. I really do. Except the ones who ask “How old are you?” and as soon as I answer, they scream…

“You’re OLD!”

My first thought is quiet down, people can hear you. At least the younger teachers can hear you… the older ones are mostly deaf.

Then I curse them (but as a good administrator, always under my breath… let that be a lesson to the brand new administrators… never curse out loud).

Students think they have their whole lives ahead of them.

And they do (again, I curse the ones who are soon to replace me)

In their minds the only thing I have ahead of me is a nursing home, a bedpan, and the sweet relief of death (no more Sunday nights!!!… wait, that might be a bad thing).

I’m not here to badmouth nursing homes, but I’m not a big fan. The only thing worse to me than living (?) my remaining years in a home is sporting an adult diaper while I’m there.

I don’t care how much money you have, or your life’s status… an oversized diaper is not a good look.

Even with the impending pressure of living out my few good remaining years in a home, I have taken the time to come up with a theory (yes, another one… bare with me, I’m old).

I don’t think age has anything to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I think it has more to do with how current you stay.

To back up my theory, I have enlisted Dr. Oz (if he’s good enough for Oprah… he’s good enough for me).

I took the Real Age test. And found out I’m not 42, I’m 30.8.

Bad news is I could have snuck back into my 20’s if I weren’t so fat. They say it’s hard to lose weight once you’re 30.8 years old and I’m starting to believe them.

But that is a small fat little bump in the road.

The nice part is you don’t have to be your chronological age.

I think this is equally true for teachers and administrators.

If you stay current, I think you have a chance to be younger at school than you really are.

This is wonderful for both you and your students. While you may still be old in their eyes, you may not be as old.

So get out there and don’t be afraid of the email machines, the mysterious internet, those crazy blogs, and other technology advances.

You are only as old as you feel and act.

Although, if you are like me you will probably stay just as fat.

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Tom Watson Didn’t Win the British Open. But He Did Teach the Rest of Us a Valuable Lesson.


This weekend Tom Watson just about won the British Open. At the age of 107.

He almost accomplished (did accomplish) what no other golfer has ever done. Win a major championship after the age of 46 (or in his case… finish 2nd …no other golfer has done that at his age either).

Actually he is 59, but he could be much older and it wouldn’t have made a difference.Tom Watson on Thursday at Turnberry in the British Open.

For years, golf analysts (those geniuses who whisper when someone is hitting… and they are in an enclosed tower 20 feet in the air… and the golfer is 300 yards away from them…) have said golfers can’t compete with younger players after their 45th birthday.

Hogwash.

I’m almost positive that the ball, the clubs, and the course have no idea the age of each golfer.

And if they did, age has almost nothing to do with playing well.

Now you can certainly make the argument that as you get older your strength decreases, you tire more easily, and your desire wanes.

But that has nothing to do with being able to play good golf. It has everything to do with the amount of effort a person puts into it.

When you don’t work hard at something you aren’t going to be as competitive as you were 20 years ago.

Older golfers simply don’t practice as much as younger golfers.

They don’t have to.

They already own a big house, several cars, a vacation home(s), have saved for retirement, and are at the age where they don’t want to travel as much.

I will admit that practice won’t completely close the gap between a 25 year old golfer and a 59 year one.

But it will lessen the distance.

Tom Watson didn’t win a major, but he did open the door.

He has shown others the way (along with Greg Norman last year) that it is possible to win in your 50’s if you prepare for it.

A golfer older than 50 will win one of golf’s 4 majors. And soon.

Age has little to do with being good. Desire has everything to do with it.

The same holds true in any profession.

I hear the age excuse all the time from people who work in education (K-12 and college).

They are too old to learn a new skill, or teach new material, or change grade levels, or take a new job, or even go back to college to get their Master’s Degree.

It’s simply not true.

They aren’t too old.

Just like they aren’t too old to exercise more, or run a 5k, or climb a mountain.

Age has nothing to do with it.

Now they may lack the desire or the interest.

But they shouldn’t blame age.

It’s just a number.

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While this site operates with the knowledge and awareness of the Tuscola CUSD #301 School Board, Tuscola, Illinois, the content and opinions posted here may or may not represent their views personally or collectively, nor does it attempt to represent the official viewpoint of Tuscola CUSD #301 administrators or employees.