Today is an All Day Celebration of Our Love and Committment (Well, Maybe Not All Day).

What's the Traditional Gift for the 13th Anniversary??Today is our 13th wedding anniversary.

By all day celebration, I mean my wife is going to work on her technology workshops and I am going to mow the yard, exercise, and hopefully get a nap in.

When all of that excitement dies down, we are going out to dinner. With our mooching daughter.

If I play my cards right, we may stop by Home Depot.

The air is filled with romance.

And they said it wouldn’t last. Actually, her parents probably said worse, but this is a family blog.

Of course, marriage is day to day (or minute to minute), so time will tell.

My dilemma is what to get the woman who has everything. She is hard to shop for because she always says that she doesn’t want or need anything.

Other than peace and quiet for a day. Which means no arguing between my daughter and I as we play video games, sports, watch TV, bike ride, or generally just annoy each other.

I hope she doesn’t get her hopes up, because that is a difficult gift to find. After all, what is the fun of playing Wii if you can’t do a victory song and dance after crushing your only child in bowling?

There must be a traditional gift for the 13th year?

A lawyer? A psychologist? Possibly meds? Tickets to the gun show (thank goodness for the 48 hour waiting time to purchase)?

Maybe there is a store where I could buy her more patience. It seems to me that sooner or later she will use all of hers up.

Marriage is a lot like school. You have to show up every day, give your best effort, listen more than you talk, complete your work on time, and learn from your mistakes.

Happy Anniversary.

Note to readers from wife. It is bad enough I am stuck in this marriage and I have to edit this dribble, but doesn’t he even know the traditional 13th year wedding gift is lace? Google it for goodness sake! (The modern gift is textiles/furs which quite frankly just creeps me out.) Luckily for him, I am not a big fan of lace. Diamonds (which I will have to wait another 47 years to receive) or a new geeky tech toy would have been good, but I will settle for an afternoon of peace and quiet. Don’t get me wrong, the odds of them playing Wii and not arguing are slim to none, but keep your fingers crossed for me. Happy Anniversary to my best (and funniest) friend who also happens to be my husband.

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Do You Need a Good Memory to Work at a School? I Hope Not.

I Hear Elephants Have Good Memories.My memory is getting worse by the day. Actually, by the minute but I don’t want to sound too pathetic.

Getting older is not everything that it is cracked up to be (although as I have mentioned earlier, it is bound to be better than the alternative).

When I was younger, I could remember everything. I was as sharp as a tack. Nothing escaped me.

Names, faces, baseball statistics, all the Presidents in order, state capitals, and dates (well, not so much dates); they were all filed in the old memory bank ready to be recalled at a moment’s notice.

I really don’t think men have the “date memory” gene. At least I don’t. And why is it important for me to know the capital of Vermont?

My lack of memory on dates was pointed out to me recently by my wife (at least I think she is my wife, I can’t really remember but she looks awfully familiar) at dinner (or it might have been lunch… that also escapes me at the moment).

When we got married, we eloped. Easy… not because we had to… it was more of a we had no money for a wedding thing. The good news – we didn’t know how poor we were.

When you have no money, a little ignorance comes in handy.

My wife (or maybe it was someone else, I can’t remember that either) decided we should head east and get married in a small town in Connecticut.

So that’s what we did. We had a very nice, small wedding at a lovely bed and breakfast. I would give them a free plug, but I honestly can’t recall the place we stayed or the town where it was located.

A couple of years ago, I realized that our anniversary was sneaking up on me (and no I don’t know the exact date… although I think it was on a Wednesday, or maybe a Thursday?).

While my memory is shot, I am smart enough to double-check these things before I get myself in trouble.

I had the brainstorm to check a newspaper article that was written about us when we eloped and got married. I don’t mind saying, that I considered this to be a stroke of genius.

The article was written about the usual small town Midwestern kids who are really poor drive all the way to Connecticut to get married much to the delight (or horror… it was hard to tell at the time) of their parents. I am sure everyone has read this type of story a thousand times.

When we first returned from our wedding we had the article framed (after we saved up the $50, which took about two years). It hangs in our living room as a monument to our love (that sentence is for the wife).

All I had to do was check the date on the paper, and I would know our anniversary.

I must admit as a man, husband, father, and an educator; I was very proud of myself for thinking of this fool-proof plan.

And as you know, my fool-proof plans seldom go wrong.

After glancing at the paper, I had the date; July 27. Armed with this tidbit of information I went out and purchased a card and ordered some flowers to be delivered the morning of the 27th.

I was extremely proud of myself at this point. My wife would be proud to have married such a considerate man.

The day before, on July 26, my wife walked up to me and said, “Happy Anniversary.” I was stunned and a little insulted by her not being able to remember the first day of our wedded bliss.

Quickly, I pointed out that our anniversary was the next day. After all, I have a memory like a steel trap. And I checked the newspaper.

She replied something to the effect of, “It isn’t tomorrow you blithering idiot and my mom warned me about marrying you.”

Now I was insulted. Not about her mom’s warning (because her judgment is impeccable), but more the fact that my wife uses words I don’t understand; like blithering.

I assured her that our anniversary was definitely on the 27th; as I had thoughtfully checked the newspaper article a few days before.

Her reply; the newspaper was published the day after we got married.

As I look back on that day, I have realized two things.

One, as usual, her mom was right. And two, that was the day I realized my memory was failing me.

Or maybe it was another day. I forget. If I don’t write these things down on a Post-It Note, I’m lost.

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