So You Want to be a Big-Time Blogger?


Bloggermobile.

Bloggermobile.

Do you want a blog that you can call your very own?

I have but one question.

Why?

Do you find yourself with too much free time to devote to your family, hobbies, or charity work?

Do you feel like you’re wasting time reading books, taking walks, or working on a Master’s Degree?

Is your mind so demented that you believe people want to read your every waking thought?

Do you want to come home from a full-time job and then work some more?

Are you just an idiot?

If you answered YES to 1 of these 4 questions, you are wasting my time. It is also possible that you are involved in a healthy long term relationship (with another human being).

If you answered YES to 2 of these 4 questions, you have goals in life and no time for a blog.

If you answered YES to 3 out of these 4 questions, you are close but aren’t truly committed to the world of blogging (come back when you are weirder).

If you answered YES to all 4, Congratulations… you have what it takes to blog. And it is quite possible that you are a moron, slightly creepy, and in a word… breathtakingly odd (sorry, two words… and there is no chance I want to ever meet you in person).

Now that we have weeded the rift raft from the uncommitted, it is time to learn what it takes to blog.

How do I have time to blog?

I get this question a lot.

Easy, I don’t.

How do I come up with 2-3 great ideas for blogs each and every week?

Easy, I don’t.

How do I write blogs that make people laugh?

This one is way too easy. I don’t.

In fact, I don’t even try.

I write blogs that make me laugh (a really good one makes my wife laugh).

If you are struggling with starting a blog, consistently blogging, or coming up with fresh ideas for your blog…I am about to solve all of your problems.

The key to a moderately successful blog is simple.

Now, listen closely because I am only going to say this once (yes, I know you are reading this… but one day… mark my word… this blog will be podcasted to literally tens of people).

The key to having a moderately successful blog is… at this point you should be doing that drum roll sound in your head…

… a couple of times a week, sit down at your computer and type.

I almost feel guilty giving away this information for free (mental note… I need my own infomercial).

That’s it.

That’s the secret to blogging.

Sit down. And type.

Did I mention you need to do this a couple of times a week?

Type. Twice a week. After sitting down (stand if you like… it is a free country).

Do this every week.

In a month you will have 8 blog entries. In a year 104. Slightly less in a leap year.

And there you have it. A blog of your very own.

Now you may ask, how in the world can I come up with humorous interesting topics that thousands of people will enjoy?

You can’t.

And don’t try. You might pull something.

Just type (twice a week… don’t forget) about things that interest you. And things that make you laugh. And things that you believe in. And things you want to see changed.

You will be astounded that those very same things that amuse you… amuse others. And things that you believe in and want changed, are the same things as lots of other people.

If you do this consistently, people will find you. That is the great thing about the internet (thank you Mr. Gore). You don’t even have to advertise.

If you blog, readers will come.

If you follow my simple advice.

Sit (optional) and type (not so optional).

No matter what your beliefs, there are thousands of people out there just waiting for someone to express them.

And that someone could be you.

Please keep in mind that the author of this blog has no English degree (or skills), no journalism background, makes stuff up as he goes along, and is generally full of it… Sincerely, His Wife.

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Safer Career Choice: School Administrator or Blogger?


Someone sent me a link to a New York Times article about people dying because they blog too much.

I know exactly what you are thinking.

People who visit this Blog also read the New York Times. Don’t feel bad, it also caught me off guard.

Once I regained my composure, I read the article. Please take a moment and read it yourself. Life is All About Choices.

I’ll wait… take your time… don’t rush yourself…alright, c’mon already… 1st graders can line up and get quiet faster than this… okay, let’s move on.

The short version of the article is that morons blog too much; said morons can’t stop thinking about blogging; and then the morons may die (sometimes rather tragically).

Sad, but true.

I don’t normally spend time blogging about death, but in this case I am willing to make an exception.

Actually, I guess I may be taking my life into my own hands by writing this. If this blog unexpectedly trails off at some point, I didn’t survive…

Just kidding, I am still here.

As I read the New York Times Article, I found myself thinking who are these people?

Blogging isn’t brain surgery; or working a 12 hour shift in a hospital; or substitute teaching; it’s just blogging.

And blogging is a fancy word for typing.

All it takes to blog is a computer, a halfway coherent thought or opinion, and thumbs. Although I think thumbs are probably a luxury (you could hit the spacebar with your elbow if you got in a bind).

The more I think about it, you don’t need thumbs or a coherent thought. You really just need a computer.

Doesn’t the New York Times have editors? Shouldn’t someone in a corner office with leather furniture have read the story before it went into print? Surely, they pay people a lot of money to decide that articles like this one aren’t really a story.

Just because news happens 24 hours a day doesn’t mean you have to blog about it.

After much thought, I think I have a solution for bloggers who face health problems or certain death.

Stop typing. And go outside. Maybe even ask a girl (or boy… your preference) out. Just remember to tell your mom to leave the basement door unlocked, as you may be home a little later than normal.

To summarize… get a life.

Blogging shouldn’t be dangerous.

Being a school administrator is death defying. You haven’t faced fear or health risks until an elementary kid gets sick in the hallway and you get a whiff of the cherry smelling dusty stuff the janitor puts on top of the…well, you get the idea.

I’ve got to go… my left arm is feeling numb.

I do realize that this blog may be offensive to bloggers who don’t have thumbs and elementary students who throw up a lot… for that I apologize.

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Disclaimer

While this site operates with the knowledge and awareness of the Tuscola CUSD #301 School Board, Tuscola, Illinois, the content and opinions posted here may or may not represent their views personally or collectively, nor does it attempt to represent the official viewpoint of Tuscola CUSD #301 administrators or employees.