I’m Not Sure I Want to Work for a Magazine That Will Hire Me.

In the last few weeks, I’ve been writing more blogs about a subject that makes my skin crawl.


I feel sick just thinking about it (I was going to say I just threw up in my mouth… but that’s just gross and has no place in a family friendly blog).

People (high-powered, very influential corporate types that I’m not at liberty to name… mainly because they are neither high-powered nor influential) tell me that I need to reap some benefits from my work here at PrincipalsPage.com.

Under their extremely complicated marketing plan, I need to turn the tremendous amount of traffic this Blog doesn’t have into name recognition.

Step 2 is to take this name recognition and cash it in (I must admit, I do like cash… and free t-shirts… hint, hint…).

To accomplish this, I have to self-promote. This involves writing blogs about my experiences as I travel, speak, or get interviewed.

This marketing strategy brings up a couple of questions.Converge Magazine Headquarters????

One, instead of name recognition wouldn’t a nap be more fulfilling?

And two… actually I don’t have a second question.

Frankly, I am too tired to come up with anything which means I could really use a nap.

Writing the Blog has become strange to me. I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I feel like I’m an employee of the Blog.

A caretaker if you will.

Which is why I go out of my way not to anger the Blog.

I need this writing gig… actually I don’t. Especially since the income it provides me is somewhere between Jack and Squat.

Then it happened.

I started writing (as always the thought of me “writing” cracks me up and embarrasses every English teacher I ever had) for the suits at Converge Magazine.

Technically it’s not the actual magazine but their website (I’m at the card table at the Converge Family Thanksgiving dinner).

A few months ago I sent a nasty hate filled email to the suits at Converge demanding they address my contract situation.

I envision the suits sitting in their corner offices in big leather chairs smoking cigars as they decide the future of the magazine and the peons who blog for them.

For some reason, I think they all have mustaches.

And drive Corvettes.

And wear thick gold chains from the 70’s.

But who knows since I have been banned from the Converge Campus (you see, I also daydream they have a big glass building that sits high upon a hill on 15-acres where they can look down and crush all the little people… or maybe I just had too much pepperoni pizza for dinner last night…).

Back to my mean spirited email.

Which if I’m being honest, I forgot I sent.

And it wasn’t actually angry or mean-spirited.

It was really more of an off-handed smart aleck comment (go figure). I didn’t give it a second thought after I sent it.

Low and behold, the suits put their cigars down just long enough to get back to me.

Much to my surprise, they have offered to pay an insane amount for my weekly blogs.

Through a series of highly dramatic emails, we negotiated a salary that is much higher than I could have ever imagined (technically two emails… they offered… and I accepted).

They are now paying me 10 times what they were (since I was getting $0, you can do the math).

While getting paid is nice, it has occurred to me this opens up a whole new set of problems.

I now get paid to write (or whatever you call it).

I’m in the same profession as John Grisham, Stephen King and J.K. Rowling (except they write books… and sell them… and have a little thing I like to call talent… other than that, we are exactly the same).

While the cash is nice (didn’t they know they could have had me with a free t-shirt?) it does bring added pressure.

Being a “highly” paid blogger is bound to be stressful.

What if the suits start demanding quality instead of just quantity?

What if they proofread what I write (?) before they post it on their website?

What if they fire me when they discover I’m a no-talent sham?

Actually, what do I care?

If they fire me, I can write a blog ripping the out-of-touch suits and their crazy decision making.

I will certainly have a good case.

After all, they did hire me. So how good can is their judgment…really?

Comments: 6
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Comment on My Blogs, or Not. I Don’t Care, or Do I?

I Wouldn't Block Any Comments.  I Just Couldn't Find a Different Cartoon.The title to this blog is easily one of the top 5 most pathetic that I have ever used. If you don’t believe me read all 173 (counting this one) entries.

Then you can become the official judge of pathetic titles. Although, if you accept this challenge, I will just consider you pathetic. Granted your effort will be appreciated, but I will still look at you with both sadness and disgust.

After all, who has time to read blogs? Or write them? Or leave comments on them?

Even though I have written over 172 blogs, I still have no idea why.

I don’t remember why I started, and I can’t figure out why I don’t stop.

It is like a rash that won’t go away. Or an annoying 7th grader (if you don’t get this reference, you have obviously not spent any time around middle school students).

When I hear people say they have a blog but haven’t posted in 2 months, I always wonder… why do you have a blog?

Isn’t the point to post your thoughts periodically?

Is it possible they haven’t had a semi-coherent thought in over 60 days? Could it be that they are just too busy?

Can they be so busy they don’t have 19 minutes to slop something down?

Granted, I am not as consumed with the quality of my writing as some bloggers. I try not to get bogged down by using correct English, understanding the proper use of an adverb, or even knowing how to correctly use a semi-colon; (in my estimation, still the coolest of all the punctuation marks).

Truthfully, I am not sure I would even recognize quality if it walked up and slapped me.

My goals in having a blog are two-fold. One, amuse myself. Two, kill time.

Oh, I forgot one.

I am here to get comments.

And lots of them.

Hopefully, hundreds. Or at least 3. Okay, I will settle for 1. I am what you call easy.

Evidently, comments are a source of pride to bloggers.

I think. I haven’t actually met a blogger.

I have a picture in my mind of what they are like… pale, hunched over, glasses, slightly angry, definitely a little moody, borderline psychotic, way too much free time and… wait a second… this all sounds a little too familiar…

Anyway, I have nice (bored) people who leave comments or send me emails (stalkers).

Some of the comments comment on how many comments I get (or don’t get).

I get the feeling if there are a lot of comments; more people want to comment and if there are no comments, people don’t want to be the first to leave their thoughts.

I have no idea why people leave comments.

It is also surprising to me which blog entries receive comments. Usually, the blogs that get the most are ones that I don’t care for (that’s a lie, they are like children… I love them all equally… NOT).

I have read articles on how to get more comments. They say you should be argumentative or controversial.

It seems odd just to do this just to get comments.

And kind of sad.

People who have to resort to these types of tactics are really the lowest form of bloggers.

The only thing I can think of that might be worse is someone writing a blog about getting comments just to see if readers will leave more comments (especially on older blogs… or as I like to call them, Classics… and by Classics, I mean they are just old).

Comments: 13
Tags: , ,

Thank You Bloggers Who Like PrincipalsPage.com.

The Lucky Number 13.I have only been blogging for 9 months. It seems more like 8 ½ months; how time flies when I am wasting it.

When I started writing (or slopping down) the blog, I only knew one thing – you typed your thoughts or opinions. Seemed simple enough. I’ve taught keyboarding and have both thoughts and opinions, so how hard could it really be?

As I look back over these last few months, it hasn’t been too difficult. Luckily for me, I have very low expectations about the quality of my blogging (and I am proud to say I think my work has the potential to reach mediocrity … keep your fingers crossed me!).

Blogging for me is just jotting (typing, slopping… whatever) what has been rattling around my head for the past few days.

The real challenge in writing a blog is that I had never read one. Not a single blog. Why do I get the feeling that 27 people just said to themselves, “That explains why the quality of his blog has yet to rise to mediocrity.”?

Let me remind you; no one likes a hater. And if you continue with this type of attitude, I am going to have you to ask you to leave.

The truth is – I still don’t read very many blogs.

Occasionally, I will glance at one if someone has been kind enough to link to PrincipalsPage.com or the PrincipalsPage.com Blog (thank you Google Alerts).

My problem isn’t that I am anti-blog; I just don’t have the time.

Well, that’s a lie. I do have the time, I just prefer to spend my free time big-game hunting, recreating Civil War battles, collecting antique porcelain dolls (the ones sold on Home Shopping Network and their eyes follow you as you move around the room), painting (mostly in the style of impressionism), volunteering to read to the deaf, and translating the classics into Latin.

Alright, you caught me. Those are also lies.

I spend all of my free time mowing my yard or snacking. I really should do something positive for society; but I have a love/hate relationship with Oreos that takes up a good portion of my time. And since time is so precious, I don’t read as many blogs as I should.

I am still appreciative of the people who take the time to blog about far more serious educational issues than me.

So, I think it is important to stop (shut off the mower and put down the cookies) to recognize the blogs that are actually trying to contribute to the betterment of education.

They are all very good (the ones I have read) and they do have some things in common; they have all been kind enough to stop by my blog and leave a comment, or some have actually taken (or wasted) the time to mention PrincipalsPage.com in their blog.

All are unique and unlike me, they are actually trying to solve educational challenges and have ideas to make things better.

Please take a moment to visit the following list of blogs, but you are on your own; I have to go mow.

Keep in mind that I don’t know any of these people and have not been paid to list their blog (although I am open to bribes, no matter how small).

THE LUCKY 13 (or unlucky 13 if they prefer not to be associated with PrincipalsPage… they can be the judge).

The Essential Blog

Mr. Moses

Moving Forward




Human Voices Wake Us

Out of My League

Not So Distant Future

Bircher’s Banter

Parental Guidance


Successful Teaching

If you have any suggestions for blogs to visit or one worthy of being featured as Page 2’s Blog of the Week on PrincipalsPage.com, please send them to my assistant Carl Spackler at micsmith@principalspage.com.

Comments: 7
Tags: , ,


While this site operates with the knowledge and awareness of the Tuscola CUSD #301 School Board, Tuscola, Illinois, the content and opinions posted here may or may not represent their views personally or collectively, nor does it attempt to represent the official viewpoint of Tuscola CUSD #301 administrators or employees.