I’m Not Sure I Want to Work for a Magazine That Will Hire Me.


In the last few weeks, I’ve been writing more blogs about a subject that makes my skin crawl.

Me.

I feel sick just thinking about it (I was going to say I just threw up in my mouth… but that’s just gross and has no place in a family friendly blog).

People (high-powered, very influential corporate types that I’m not at liberty to name… mainly because they are neither high-powered nor influential) tell me that I need to reap some benefits from my work here at PrincipalsPage.com.

Under their extremely complicated marketing plan, I need to turn the tremendous amount of traffic this Blog doesn’t have into name recognition.

Step 2 is to take this name recognition and cash it in (I must admit, I do like cash… and free t-shirts… hint, hint…).

To accomplish this, I have to self-promote. This involves writing blogs about my experiences as I travel, speak, or get interviewed.

This marketing strategy brings up a couple of questions.Converge Magazine Headquarters????

One, instead of name recognition wouldn’t a nap be more fulfilling?

And two… actually I don’t have a second question.

Frankly, I am too tired to come up with anything which means I could really use a nap.

Writing the Blog has become strange to me. I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I feel like I’m an employee of the Blog.

A caretaker if you will.

Which is why I go out of my way not to anger the Blog.

I need this writing gig… actually I don’t. Especially since the income it provides me is somewhere between Jack and Squat.

Then it happened.

I started writing (as always the thought of me “writing” cracks me up and embarrasses every English teacher I ever had) for the suits at Converge Magazine.

Technically it’s not the actual magazine but their website (I’m at the card table at the Converge Family Thanksgiving dinner).

A few months ago I sent a nasty hate filled email to the suits at Converge demanding they address my contract situation.

I envision the suits sitting in their corner offices in big leather chairs smoking cigars as they decide the future of the magazine and the peons who blog for them.

For some reason, I think they all have mustaches.

And drive Corvettes.

And wear thick gold chains from the 70’s.

But who knows since I have been banned from the Converge Campus (you see, I also daydream they have a big glass building that sits high upon a hill on 15-acres where they can look down and crush all the little people… or maybe I just had too much pepperoni pizza for dinner last night…).

Back to my mean spirited email.

Which if I’m being honest, I forgot I sent.

And it wasn’t actually angry or mean-spirited.

It was really more of an off-handed smart aleck comment (go figure). I didn’t give it a second thought after I sent it.

Low and behold, the suits put their cigars down just long enough to get back to me.

Much to my surprise, they have offered to pay an insane amount for my weekly blogs.

Through a series of highly dramatic emails, we negotiated a salary that is much higher than I could have ever imagined (technically two emails… they offered… and I accepted).

They are now paying me 10 times what they were (since I was getting $0, you can do the math).

While getting paid is nice, it has occurred to me this opens up a whole new set of problems.

I now get paid to write (or whatever you call it).

I’m in the same profession as John Grisham, Stephen King and J.K. Rowling (except they write books… and sell them… and have a little thing I like to call talent… other than that, we are exactly the same).

While the cash is nice (didn’t they know they could have had me with a free t-shirt?) it does bring added pressure.

Being a “highly” paid blogger is bound to be stressful.

What if the suits start demanding quality instead of just quantity?

What if they proofread what I write (?) before they post it on their website?

What if they fire me when they discover I’m a no-talent sham?

Actually, what do I care?

If they fire me, I can write a blog ripping the out-of-touch suits and their crazy decision making.

I will certainly have a good case.

After all, they did hire me. So how good can is their judgment…really?

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An Introduction to the PrincipalsPage.com Blog. I am Going to Work for the Man.


Converge Magazine.For some of you this blog is not new. But for my new reader (at least I am hoping for one…), I think an introduction is in order.

This is the first blog in a brand new chapter for PrincipalsPage.

Before I get to that, I need to catch the new reader (s??) up on what they have missed so far.

And by so far, I mean the previous 252 blogs (what I lack in quality, I make up for in quantity).

This may take a while, so you might want to consider calling your boss to say you will be sick tomorrow.

There are several things you need to know about this blog. I don’t need you complaining at a later date because you’re lost.

The first thing you need to know about this blog: It’s written for one person and one person only. Converge Magazine -Spring 2009.

Me.

I write (The second thing you need to know: I can’t actually “write”…) this for my own amusement.

This isn’t completely true. I do consider a blog successful if my wife laughs out loud as she edits it (just to review… I can’t write so I need an editor).

Please keep that in mind if you read a particular blog and you aren’t amused, I was.

And that’s what counts.

You may be wondering why I refer to individual entries as “blogs”. That’s because when I started “writing” I had no idea what the proper terminology was.

Still don’t.

It may (or may not) have occurred to you that I “write” in very short paragraphs. Very perceptive. This is because I don’t have a clue on when a paragraph should start or stop.

Some people may consider my lack of English skills sad.

They would be correct.

The PrincipalsPage.com Blog began on 07/07/07. Weird, huh? I think it’s some sort of sign, but like so many things I have no idea what it is.

The Blog began as an attempt to drive traffic to my website at www.principalspage.com (a free website with resources for K-12 Principals).

It worked. It’s almost worked too well.

Before I knew it people were actually reading and commenting on the blogs.

That was exciting. And a little disconcerting.

Turns out if you post things on the internet people will read them.

Who knew?

This put me in an odd position with my career.

There’s another thing you need to know. I’m not a principal.

Two years ago I got promoted to Superintendent (or demoted… you can decide), but by then it was too late to change the name of the Blog.

At this point I may be the only Superintendent who blogs like I do. In fact, I may be the only person not housed in an institution that blogs the way I do.

So here is what we know so far: I write the Blog for my own amusement, I can’t write, each individual entry is a “blog” because I didn’t know any better, my knowledge of paragraphs is limited, and I’m not a Principal.

And I am currently not living in an institution.

I told you a sick day might be in order.

The next thing you need to know is what I “write” about.Coverge Magazine.

Nothing. And everything.

I attempt to write about what I know. Education issues, my family, my job (in the most generic terms possible because I really need to remain employed until I find another job that pays… and blogging doesn’t), and anything else that pops in my head.

I’ve found that it doesn’t matter what I write about because there is someone somewhere who identifies with it.

Or hates it.

I have come to realize that everything in life is related to education.

While I have several degrees (which means nothing other than I had a lot of school loans), I learn more from my wife and daughter than school ever taught me.

My wife is the Queen of Technology. While she is a teacher, she also has a company (with her mom) that presents technology workshops to educators.

I am really banking on her being incredibly rich one day.

My daughter is my best and last hope for the future. At the age of 8, she is smarter than I was or will ever be. This isn’t bragging by a proud father, it is documented through NCLB test scores (not really, I just made that up to make a point).

From time to time, I will refer to her as the “Evil Spawn”. I use the word “Evil” in the nicest way possible because one day she may read these blogs and I don’t want to anger her.

She’s my only hope of getting admitted to a nice nursing home (there is no doubt she is putting me in one… my only hope is it’s nice).

The last member of my family is also the newest (and easily the most popular with readers of the Blog).

Buddy the Dog.

The most handsome beagle you have ever seen (or in your case… never seen). People literally stop us on the street to comment on his breathtaking good looks.

I’m considering using him on a brand new line of PrincicipalsPage.com Blog t-shirts. Presently, that idea is in litigation.

The evil spawn wants a cut of the profits because technically Buddy is her dog, but I am not agreeing to anything.

I don’t completely trust her (after all, I have only known her for 8 years and she is way too smart for her own good…).

Plus I figure she is going to owe me about $250,000 before I get her through college… or truck driving school.

So now you know about my family: the Queen, the Evil Spawn, and Buddy the Dog.

There you have it.

In 3 pages, you now know just as much as the poor people who have read the last 252 blogs.

I bet they are kicking themselves right about now. They had no idea I was coming out with a Cliff’s Notes version of the Blog.

The time has come (and the opportunity) to take the Blog mainstream. To the masses. Or at least one of the masses (I have my fingers crossed).

Some of my blogs will now be posted on the Converge Magazine website every Thursday. Converge Magazine - Winter 2009.

This was my dream as a college undergraduate in the English department. Oh wait, I was never an English major.

Or come to think of it… ever allowed in the English department.

Nevertheless, I am officially a writer (this is the part that amuses me in this particular blog) for a real magazine (albeit just on their website).

I am working for The Man.

This isn’t completely true. Working implies a paycheck. And I haven’t seen one.

Maybe it’s true what they say about The Man

Maybe he is keeping me down.

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While this site operates with the knowledge and awareness of the Tuscola CUSD #301 School Board, Tuscola, Illinois, the content and opinions posted here may or may not represent their views personally or collectively, nor does it attempt to represent the official viewpoint of Tuscola CUSD #301 administrators or employees.