Time For My Dog’s First Evaluation. I Hope He Isn’t Planning on Getting Tenure.

We have a new dog.

I thought about calling him the Always Hungry, Constantly Napping, Strange Smells Escaping from Several Body Parts, Chewing on My Shoes, High Maintenance/High Drama Animal but this didn’t seem catchy enough.

So we went with Buddy the Dog.

When we got him, I decided it would be a good idea if we ran a 5k together.

After all, dogs love to run. And I could use the exercise and stress relief (especially at the end of the school year). It would be a bonding experience between man and beast.

Like most of my ideas, I considered it sheer genius.

And like most of my ideas, it wasn’t.

We are now 7 weeks into my plan and it’s apparent that our training regimen isn’t going well.

Buddy is evidently more perceptive than me. He decided it wasn’t going well after about 3 minutes.

When we first met him there was no doubt he was a go getter.

His owners told us that he couldn’t get enough exercise. Evidently, they didn’t tell him.

The first few times we ran together, he was a machine. He ran and ran and ran.

I could barely keep up.

There was no stopping him. He could run 4 miles and barely break a sweat.

Then one day it was hot. And humid.

He got tired. And stopped. And layed down. And had a brainstorm.

As he lay under a shade tree on his back with all 4 legs in the air, I could tell his little golf ball-sized brain was really mulling the situation over.

In retrospect, that was the exact moment he decided the human wasn’t in charge.

He was.

And the 5K wasn’t going to happen. Not on his watch.

He hasn’t run since.

And trust me, I’ve tried.

I take off in a full sprint. He sits down and stares at me. And it isn’t just a stare. It’s a mocking glare.

After I regain my composure and my balance, I always try again. I take off. He doesn’t budge.

The glare he gives is easy to recognize because I get it from time to time at school. I must admit, it hurts even when coming from a different species.

This isn’t even the worst part.

In a matter of 6 short weeks, he has gone from a former show dog living in a kennel… to a pampered family pet that not only doesn’t run, but doesn’t even walk outside at night to use the bathroom.

He has to be carried.

I wish I were kidding.

Here are the pictures to prove it.

Sleepy and Lazy.
Buddy the Dog Thinks He Is a Baby.

It’s just a matter of time before we have to put him in the car and drive him down the block to the fire hydrant so he can take care of business.

His business.

On his terms.

Maybe his next evaluation will go well, but as of now he certainly has some areas on which he needs improvement.

Or could it be possible that I have some areas on which to improve? Maybe he and I should’ve had a pre-conference before we brought him home.

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My Dog Buddy, May Hold the Key to Better Staff Development.

We have had our new dog for a little more than a week. Actually, truth be told, I am pretty sure I am now living in Buddy’s house (I am actually supposed to address him as Mr. Buddy… so I am glad he isn.t much of a blog reader).

His standard of living is quite remarkable for a year and a half old unemployed Beagle.

He has been a relatively gracious host so far. More impressive is how fast he has risen to the top of the family pecking order.

It took me years of stalking to win over my wife.

Buddy shows up and in 2 minutes she is smooching on him. I don’t want to get into the sordid details of my first kiss with her, but it didn’t come in 2 minutes.

I am not as jealous of him as I am impressed.

Say what you want, but the dog has skills.

He likes the ladies and the ladies like him.

It seems like he has been part of our family for much longer than a few days. Maybe that’s because I have to get up at 5:00 am to walk him.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining. Soon I will be in the best shape of my life thanks to dragging this dog around town for approximately 18 miles a day.

For the most part he has been the perfect pet. He barks about once every 2 days. He doesn’t like human food. He won’t jump on the furniture. And he walks over to the door that goes to the garage around 9:30 every night as a clear indication that he is ready for bed in his crate.

The aforementioned makes him a better housemate than my daughter. You have to force her to bed. Often times by using some sort of wrestling maneuver or headlock to drag her dead weight body towards the bedroom.

The kicking and screaming almost wakes the dog up. Notice I said almost. Buddy can literally be walking along and pass out. He is asleep before his head hits his brand new L.L. Bean bed with his name stitched on it (in his favorite color I am told).img_1404

She thinks 9:30 is way too early to go to bed. Actually, she thinks 2:00 am is too early. I have already suggested that she stay away from the early morning classes in college.

Of course, she doesn’t get up at 5 to walk her dog, so what does she care about going to bed early.

I have run into one small problem when I walk him. He won’t “turn in his homework.”

Not page #1 or page #2.

I walked him 4 miles once and he wouldn’t squat on a bet.

Originally, I thought the dog had some sort of gift.

Or 2 bladders.

Turns out neither is true.

After spending 3 days thinking about this riddle wrapped up in an enigma, I finally came to a conclusion.

He is a show dog. Actually former show dog.

They say he got kicked out of the ring because he got too big. If you ask me that is code for “dogroids”, but as always I’m not here to judge.

Although it would explain his mood swings and the ability to exercise for hours on end. Not to mention the fact that he has two shrunken… well, you get the point (if you don’t, email me).

This could be from his surgery, but who really knows in this day and age.

Training a dog can be a challenge. Untraining one is even harder.

It reminds me of teachers and staff members (the PrincipalsPage.com legal department wants it noted that I am in no way comparing teachers to dogs… or vice versa as I don’t want to insult either group).

We all have a tendency to get stuck in our ways. I include myself in this group.

Once we are trained, we stay trained.

That is why it is so important to get new employees started off on the right foot.

Part of this training should be teaching new staff members that flexibility is the key to success.

As a teacher, administrator, janitor, or secretary who works with students, we have to be willing to adjust throughout our careers.

Each new group of students (every 4 years or so) has different needs and ways of learning. We can’t expect them to respond to our methods that we may have first learned during student teaching 20 years ago.

We can’t always fight change. We have to seek it out and embrace it.

Sure it makes us nervous. And it makes our belly hurt (especially Buddy’s). And it makes it hard to get comfortable for a nap (Buddy and I).

If someone shows us a better way, our students deserve the opportunity to learn under a new progressive system that better fits their style of learning.

Sooner or later, we are all asked to try new methods. Instead of fighting it, maybe we should just “turn in our homework” the first time.

It might just help kids.

And it might save me 18 miles of walking a dog (I really wish Buddy… I mean Mr. Buddy could read this).

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There is Going to be a New Man in the House. Well, Almost a Man.

It’s official.

My daughter’s 8th birthday dream has come true. Her dream…a dog.pp-blog-web-ashton

Not clothes, or a new bike, or even a vacation to Disneyland in Orlando… or Disneyworld… I can’t remember which is which.

Of course, this is her dream, not ours.

Her mom and I have lived through the dog stage(s) in our lives and now enjoy the freedom that comes with not having a dog.

Our only child doesn’t seem to understand these freedoms.

Kids these days.

My dreams are simpler. Like more naps. Or more time to nap.

She seems to think that she has her whole life ahead of her and wants to experience different things (including smooching on a dog).

I am happy to help provide her with these things; I just need to know if I will be able to work in a nap before, or at least after these experiences.

My daughter is very patient, but she wants a dog. And she wants it now.

Me. I want her to have a dog, but when it’s warmer outside. And soccer and softball are over. And as soon as we have finished our vacation.

And when she has graduated college and lives in her own home.

After much discussion, she got her way. I am starting to see a pattern in our discussions, but that is another blog.

She says she deserves a dog, because she is an only child. I have offered to get her a brother and a sister, but she doesn’t want them touching her stuff.

Evidently, she prefers a dog laying, slobbering, and shedding on her stuff.

She also wants a dog that will watch TV with her, walk her to church, and lay on the driveway while she shoots baskets.

Oh, I about forgot. She really wants a dog that will lie beside her bed when she is sick.

She doesn’t want her mom or dad when she isn’t feeling well, she prefers a 4 legged beast with big ears and questionable hygiene habits.

After searching (and procrastinating) for several months, we have finally found our new family member.

And when I say family member, I really mean new King of the Household.

I think we have made a good choice. We debated on saving a dog from the pound, which we have done in the past, or buying from a registered breeder.

Turns out we got the best of both worlds.

We found a year and a half old beagle through a breeder. He needs a home because while he was a show dog, he outgrew that job, literally.

So to go along with my unemployed daughter, I now have an unemployed dog.

Little does he know that he has hit the doggy lottery.

He is leaving a kennel of 40 hard-working show dogs to move in with us. He will now spend his days watching Nickelodeon, eating treats, and getting his belly rubbed.

This is one lucky boy. He is about to live the life I used to have.

The only downside for him (there are lots of downsides for me) he has to visit the vet before he can move in with us.

For the “procedure”.

Yes, that procedure.

The vet is going to rip his manhood away from him.

As a guy, I feel badly for him. Not the best way for us to start our relationship, but I can’t have him spreading his manliness all over the neighborhood.

So in 2 weeks, the new man of the house will be here. Well, part of a man.

And I will be moving down the family pecking order. That’s the bad news.

The good news… MY manhood is still fully intact.

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