My Death is Near. Roughly 13.1 Miles Away.


A week from today I will run a half marathon.

Run is probably too strong of a word.

Crawl is probably far more appropriate (and I think you still get a medal).

As I’ve grown older, I have come to realize my time on Earth is limited.  Like all living creatures I am faced with my own mortality.

One day we are born.  One day we will die.

In between we deal with lots of crap at work.

So while it’s no surprise to me what the future holds, I have always assumed I would go out in a certain fashion.

A disease I can’t pronounce.

Being trampled in the hallway by a group of over-exuberant 1st graders.

Poisoned (I would name the possible suspects, but the list is far too long).

A victim of a beagle attack because I didn’t get him his precious bowl of dog food quickly enough (if I go out with paw prints on my throat… please have the FBI take a real hard look at Buddy the Dog).

Dying from shear boredom at a meeting (this may just be wishful thinking on my part).

Swimming lessons.

It’s hard to tell what will eventually get me, but it’s going to happen.

I just didn’t think it would come so soon.

But as fate would have it, my time here is coming to a close.

Seven short days from now I will line up with a group of strangers, a gun will go off, and about 2 hours and 30 minutes later I will die in a pool of my own sweat and tears.

Or at the very least I will wish I were dead  (please don’t judge me, there’s nothing wrong with a grown man sobbing as he tries to catch his breath as he lies face down in a gutter).

You may be asking, do I have any final thoughts?  Any last words of wisdom?  Some tidbit of guidance for new school administrators as I move on to nicer or hotter pastures.

Sorry.

I’ve got nothing, but troubles of my own.

But I do have a video that perfectly illustrates what I will be thinking as I run towards the bright light (jog… walk… crawl… limp… ride in a back of a medical golf cart… whatever).

My last hope is my pain brings the readers of this blog a moment or two of amusement.

Thank you for your support.  And please don’t feel sorry for me.

It’s been a good run (probably a bad choice of words).

I will see you at the finish line.  Or not.

Enjoy. 

 

My guess is runners will find this hilarious.  And non-runners will never take up running because of this.

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When Did Schools Go Into the Stupid Business?


Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I don’t mean to pile on, but how is this possible?lower merion

How did one (or several) school administrators think “This is a good idea”?

How is it that just when I think I’ve heard everything, something new and ignorant happens in education?

 

From PhilibrityLower Merion School District is involved in a lawsuit for spying on their students at home via school issued laptops.

Apparently, administrators secretly reserved the ability to remotely monitor the students’ clickstreams, email, turn on the laptops’ webcams and generally Big Brother the students’ privacy. This came to light when a student was disciplined at school for “improper behavior at home,” using a photo taken by the student’s webcam as evidence.

This brought about a class action lawsuit on behalf of the 1,800 Lower Merion students who were issued shady laptops by the school district. Here’s our verdict: On one hand, the school district has a responsibility to protect its students from general Internet creepery, but it goes without saying that watching school students via webcam without their knowledge makes anyone an internet creeper, be they school administrator or not.

That’s not to mention the gross violations of the students’ Fourth Amendment rights.

This brings up some interesting questions, like how many other well-to-do suburban school districts are engaged in such cyber-Orwellian practices and will they even get word considering this story’s under-reported nature in local mainstream media.

 

I’m guessing there aren’t a lot of schools doing this, but what do I know.  Up until I read this story, I didn’t figure any schools were doing something quite this insane.

This can’t help the cause to give students more access to technology (although the students don’t seem to be the problem…).

But wait, there’s more.  Now the FBI is involved (click HERE).

Maybe it’s me, but I’m just guessing it’s probably not a good time for the administrators to ask for a raise.

Thanks to a loyal reader of the Blog for emailing this story to me.  And maybe there’s more to the story.  Maybe it’s just a wacky misunderstanding.  Maybe.

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While this site operates with the knowledge and awareness of the Tuscola CUSD #301 School Board, Tuscola, Illinois, the content and opinions posted here may or may not represent their views personally or collectively, nor does it attempt to represent the official viewpoint of Tuscola CUSD #301 administrators or employees.