I Have Nothing to Blog About.


I’ve got nothing.nothing

No ideas.

No stories.

No wacky misunderstandings.

Nothing.

Not a blog in sight.

It’s going to be a long school year unless the excitement level picks up (and truthfully, quiet is kind of nice… and why do I get the feeling I just jinxed myself).

So for this blog I’m going with Plan B.

Actually, I don’t have a Plan B.

Well, on to Plan C.

Blogging 101.

Since I’m constantly (ok… occasionally) asked how I come up with topics for entertaining blogs (like I know), I will share my ideas in this blog.

Plus, since the Evil Spawn is attempting to root into the family business, there’s no better time to talk about blogging.

 

1.  If you want to be rich or famous, don’t start a blog.  Reality show, maybe.  Blog, no.

If you decide to take that first blogging step, don’t expect anyone to read it. 

At least for a while. 

It takes a few hundred entries before people might notice you have a blog.  The key here is “might notice.”

The truth is they probably won’t.

 

2.  Pick a niche and stick with it.  Mine is school administrators with anger issues who like technology, kids, and Buddy the Dog. 

This one’s all mine.

Find your own.

The interweb isn’t big enough for both of us.

 

3.  Don’t steal from other bloggers. 

Especially me.

Come up with your own mediocre ideas.

This is why I don’t read blogs.  I want to make sure my junk is all mine.

 

4. You have to blog consistently. 

Not monthly.  Not whenever.  Consistently.

It’s like having a second job.  One you can do in your underwear.

If you go more than 5 days without posting a blog, you aren’t a blogger. 

You’re a slacker.

If you actually blog in your underwear, you’re just creepy.

If you blog without underwear… well, I’m not even going there.

 

5.  Ignore advice from other bloggers about how to blog.

We have no idea what we’re talking about (especially me).  If we write a blog about blogging it just means we have nothing else to do (what does a guy have to do to witness a wacky situation where someone throws up in the hallway???).

Just blog about things that pique your interest.

If you think it’s interesting, there are people out there who will agree.

If you think it’s funny, turns out there are others who have the same morbid sense of humor (thank goodness…).

If you are angry about it, I can promise you’re not the only one (ex:  Fox News).

 

Don’t make it complicated.

It’s not brain surgery.

It’s blogging.

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Snow Days and the Swine Flu.


Both of these are colossal pains in my… neck.

When you think about it, they are quite similar (besides being a pain in my… fine we’ll stick with neck).This Isn't Enought Snow to Cancel School.

Don’t believe me?

Both give you the chance to stay in bed and watch the Price is Right (no offense Mr. Carey, but I miss Bob Barker).

Granted one may cause you to stare into the bottom of the toilet bowl; but other than that, they have a lot in common.

Both may provoke the closing of schools this winter.

Both are covered on the local news in a way that makes you think the world is coming to an end.

I could go on and on, but that’s all I’ve got.

The Crisis of 2009 is the Swine Flu.  Of course it’s only “The Crisis” until something more exciting happens.  After all you can’t expect CNN, MSNBC, and FOX News to cover happy uplifting stories.

I really believe when something more “entertaining” (sadly, it will likely be horrific or involve rich people stealing our money…) comes along, we will have heard the last of the Swine Flu.

Maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think this is the crisis to end all crises.

There’s no way it’s bigger than Y2K.

Okay, bad example.

Humans like to be scared.  We love rumors.  We thrive on drama. 

Most of all, we fear the unknown.

The Swine Flu is all of these wrapped up into one mysterious disease.

As an added bonus, pigs are gross.  Who wants to get sick from something that started with dirty farm animals (I’m hesitant to speak for the group… but not me)?

Long story short, the Swine Flu has caught America’s attention.  At least for now.

Who cares that the southern hemisphere is just coming out of their winter (and flu) season and they found the Swine Flu to be less of a big of deal than predicted.

We’re Americans.

And if we say the Swine Flu is going to be huge, it’s going to be HUGE.

At least until something else comes along.

It reminds me of Snow Days (without the shots of course).

Each year, parents and students focus on whether school will be dismissed because of snow.  The excitement continues to build as rumors of an impending storm spread like wildfire. 

The news media (i.e. those weather people who are almost always wrong) like nothing more than to fan the flames.

For a school administrator the first snow of the year is always the worst.

An inch can cause people to go completely ballistic.

The phone rings off the hook at school just as soon as the first snowflake hits the ground (sometimes days in advance… and I’m not kidding).

Winter Weather Crises come in 5 Stages:

Stage One – the initial news reports (a week in advance) saying we could get between a single flake and 1 inch of light snow.

Stage Two – sheer panic by the general public that if school is not dismissed literally thousands of people will die on the streets in car accidents or by starvation (hence the run on stores for food… which usually means cookies, soda, and renting a movie).  Total strangers, without children, repeatedly call the school to say the administrators are idiots (sorry, this has nothing to do with a snowstorm… this is just an average day).

Stage Three – school is cancelled and everyone survives to go sledding or the mall by 10:00 am.

Stage Four – later that same winter (after 8 other storms) an actual blizzard drops 29 inches of snow in 30 minutes (that’s a lot).

Stage Five – parents call the school, begging the administration not to dismiss because they are sick of having their children at home and they need to go to work.

I wonder if the Swine Flu Crisis won’t go much the same way.

Initially everyone is in a panic.  This will be especially true when a school district has their first student with Swine Flu.

But what happens when the 7th, or 19th, 52nd, or 1,000th person contracts it?

Will everyone still be as paranoid?

Or will we send our kids to school and go back to work?

Time may prove me wrong.  It has before.

I can’t tell you how silly I felt when I locked myself in the basement with beef jerky, bottled water, and 37 People Magazines as I anticipated Y2K.

Excuse me if I don’t trust the government and the news media.  But as the president’s chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, said, "Never let a serious crisis go to waste. What I mean by that is it’s an opportunity to do things you couldn’t do before."

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While this site operates with the knowledge and awareness of the Tuscola CUSD #301 School Board, Tuscola, Illinois, the content and opinions posted here may or may not represent their views personally or collectively, nor does it attempt to represent the official viewpoint of Tuscola CUSD #301 administrators or employees.