Are Teachers So Dry They Need Buckets of Lotion?

Every year school ends.Teachers Love Apples!

And every year my wife comes home with a U-haul truck full of lotion.

That’s just how she rolls (don’t judge her).

Being a fourth grade teacher has many challenges.

One being how can she possibly drink out of the 1,412 “#1 Teacher” mugs she has received over the course of the last decade.

Trust me, I’m not exaggerating.

I’ve counted them.  She has 1,412.

If you don’t believe, stop by our next yard sale.

It’s buy one mug, get 1,411 free.

Now, if you are a high school teacher this blog is making little or no sense.

That’s because at a certain point students stop buying gifts for their teachers.

So if you are a high school teacher and you’re reading this blog while drinking out of a “#1 Teacher” mug… stop it.

Because you evidently purchased it for yourself and that’s just wrong.

And creepy.

Everyone knows you can’t self-proclaim yourself the “World’s Greatest Teacher”.  Only 7 year olds can do that.

Those teachers who receive gifts know they can be broken down into two specific groups. 

Group 1:  Things you put on your body. 

This would be your lotions, nail polish, perfume, scarves, t-shirts, jewelry, and the ever popular any clothing item with an apple on it.

Group 2:  Food or Drink.

This is your coffee mugs, candy, homemade cookies, fruit baskets, and gift certificates from the students favorite restaurant (you see, elementary kids love McDonald’s way more than teachers).

I know parents sometimes stress out over what gift to buy their child’s teacher at the end of the school year.

I have a suggestion.


Nothing says “Thanks for tolerating my kid for 7 hours a day so I don’t have to" like straight stone cold cash.

Of course, I’m kidding.

Most parents can’t afford to give teachers enough cash to cover an entire school year worth of suffering.

So what should they do?

I haven’t a clue.

But I do know the Evil Spawn just completed (barely) her 4th grade year in my wife’s class.

And I don’t have a gift.

I’m thinking maybe a mug.  Or a five-gallon bucket of lotion.

Or better yet, a mug that says “World’s Greatest Mom and Teacher” filled with lotion that smells like apples.

She’s going to love it.

Note from wife/teacher of the Evil Spawn:  I really scored this year with one of the best gifts ever…iTunes gift card…cha-ching!

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While this site operates with the knowledge and awareness of the Tuscola CUSD #301 School Board, Tuscola, Illinois, the content and opinions posted here may or may not represent their views personally or collectively, nor does it attempt to represent the official viewpoint of Tuscola CUSD #301 administrators or employees.