In the last few weeks, I’ve been writing more blogs about a subject that makes my skin crawl.
I feel sick just thinking about it (I was going to say I just threw up in my mouth… but that’s just gross and has no place in a family friendly blog).
People (high-powered, very influential corporate types that I’m not at liberty to name… mainly because they are neither high-powered nor influential) tell me that I need to reap some benefits from my work here at PrincipalsPage.com.
Under their extremely complicated marketing plan, I need to turn the tremendous amount of traffic this Blog doesn’t have into name recognition.
Step 2 is to take this name recognition and cash it in (I must admit, I do like cash… and free t-shirts… hint, hint…).
To accomplish this, I have to self-promote. This involves writing blogs about my experiences as I travel, speak, or get interviewed.
This marketing strategy brings up a couple of questions.
One, instead of name recognition wouldn’t a nap be more fulfilling?
And two… actually I don’t have a second question.
Frankly, I am too tired to come up with anything which means I could really use a nap.
Writing the Blog has become strange to me. I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I feel like I’m an employee of the Blog.
A caretaker if you will.
Which is why I go out of my way not to anger the Blog.
I need this writing gig… actually I don’t. Especially since the income it provides me is somewhere between Jack and Squat.
Then it happened.
I started writing (as always the thought of me “writing” cracks me up and embarrasses every English teacher I ever had) for the suits at Converge Magazine.
Technically it’s not the actual magazine but their website (I’m at the card table at the Converge Family Thanksgiving dinner).
A few months ago I sent a nasty hate filled email to the suits at Converge demanding they address my contract situation.
I envision the suits sitting in their corner offices in big leather chairs smoking cigars as they decide the future of the magazine and the peons who blog for them.
For some reason, I think they all have mustaches.
And drive Corvettes.
And wear thick gold chains from the 70’s.
But who knows since I have been banned from the Converge Campus (you see, I also daydream they have a big glass building that sits high upon a hill on 15-acres where they can look down and crush all the little people… or maybe I just had too much pepperoni pizza for dinner last night…).
Back to my mean spirited email.
Which if I’m being honest, I forgot I sent.
And it wasn’t actually angry or mean-spirited.
It was really more of an off-handed smart aleck comment (go figure). I didn’t give it a second thought after I sent it.
Low and behold, the suits put their cigars down just long enough to get back to me.
Much to my surprise, they have offered to pay an insane amount for my weekly blogs.
Through a series of highly dramatic emails, we negotiated a salary that is much higher than I could have ever imagined (technically two emails… they offered… and I accepted).
They are now paying me 10 times what they were (since I was getting $0, you can do the math).
While getting paid is nice, it has occurred to me this opens up a whole new set of problems.
I now get paid to write (or whatever you call it).
I’m in the same profession as John Grisham, Stephen King and J.K. Rowling (except they write books… and sell them… and have a little thing I like to call talent… other than that, we are exactly the same).
While the cash is nice (didn’t they know they could have had me with a free t-shirt?) it does bring added pressure.
Being a “highly” paid blogger is bound to be stressful.
What if the suits start demanding quality instead of just quantity?
What if they proofread what I write (?) before they post it on their website?
What if they fire me when they discover I’m a no-talent sham?
Actually, what do I care?
If they fire me, I can write a blog ripping the out-of-touch suits and their crazy decision making.
I will certainly have a good case.
After all, they did hire me. So how good can is their judgment…really?