School Administrators Joke #2: Be Careful What You Ask Elementary Students.

It Never Hurts to Laugh.Here is another joke about principals in what is quickly becoming a continuing series (if you consider 2 to be a series). I may be on to something here (if I’m not, at least it makes for an easy blog).

The Joke…

As the assembly was about to begin, Mr. Jones, the elementary principal decided to start it off by saying something encouraging to his student body.

In the last year, the school had seen their test scores improve dramatically, so he wanted to compliment the students on their intelligence.

As he walked on stage and looked out into the crowd of 300 elementary students, he couldn’t have been more proud. He walked up to the podium, grabbed the microphone and asked “Who is smart? Please, put up your hand.”

All the students except one raised their hand. Little Timothy was the only one to sit there and just stare at Mr. Jones.

So the principal asked, “Timothy, why aren’t you raising your hand?

The little boy responded “Because if I raise my hand than you’ll be all alone.”

Again, always keep in mind that they are not laughing with us, but at us. And by they, I mean everyone.

Some will say that I am just being paranoid. I beg to differ. Paranoia is often confused with common sense.

And if everyone is out to get you (even the elementary kids) it is not paranoia, it’s only good common sense.

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School Administrators Joke #1: How Coaches Become Principals.

This is a brand new feature on

Jokes about us.

We can’t take ourselves too seriously…You Make a Horse Laugh and You've Done Something.

because we have to realize, they (and by they, I mean everyone… remember a little paranoia keeps you sharp and on your toes) are not laughing with us, but at us.

I came up with this feature just moments ago as I sprinted (I mean ran… I mean jogged… actually, to be honest it is more of a walk/shuffle) through my daily (sometimes daily, often it is more of a few times a week) exercise program.

A few days ago, someone (a.k.a. @tjshay via twitter) sent my wife this joke about principals. I had heard it before, but had forgotten it (because I am so busy, I can’t remember everything… or possibly I am just old and forgetful).

The joke.

“Qualifications to be a Principal. A Master’s Degree and two consecutive losing seasons.”

Makes me smile every time I think about it.

Probably because in so many cases it is true. Let it be noted…my last season of coaching resulted in the kids having a winning season (I say kids because it was all them… very little of me).

I like to think I have a great sense of timing. Get out right before things go bad. Don’t overstay your coaching welcome. Leave on a winning note. Let the next coach deal with the rebuilding.

So that is what I did. I saw the writing on the wall. I got out. The very next season the kids had a record of 24 and 5.

I have said it before, but it deserves repeating. I am an idiot.

As usual, the joke was on me.

True story: I met a gentleman from Texas who got “promoted” to high school principal after having 2 losing seasons in a row as head football coach. The “promotion” came with a $7,000 pay cut.

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My Dad is Still Goofy.

Math is Hard.My Dad is typing this because he says having me type is like watching paint dry.

I wanted to answer your questions.

How much are you charging for Dad- $100 ($50 for me and $50 for Dad)- that is a good girl who will sell her father and then split the money

Do we get ice cream for helping- No, you’re on your own.

Can he cook or clean- No and Yes.

Have you gone for ice cream yet- No, I needed 10 comments and I only got 8.

What flavor of ice cream- Chocolate.

Now the joke.

What did one math book say to the other math book………………………………………

I have a lot of problems!

Please leave a comment. Help a girl out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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