Our Presidential Candidates Learned Nothing in Kindergarten.

Last night, our country sat through the second of three Presidential Debates (it was like detention for America).Stop Acting Like Children.

Just my opinion (it’s my blog after all), President Obama and Mr. Romney acted like spoiled immature children.

And that’s an insult to spoiled immature children everywhere.

If they talked that way in school, we would have big trouble.

And by we, I mean them.

Did they not learn anything in kindergarten?

Did they not learn to play fair?

Did they not learn to say I’m sorry when they hurt somebody’s feelings?

I wonder if they washed their hands before the debate?

Did they take a nap beforehand?

Do they not understand when you go out into the world, you need to stick together?  It’s one for all, not one against one.

Did their teachers and parents not teach them how to talk nicely?

Did they not learn that in order to get respect, you have to show others respect? 

Did they miss the day when they should have learned to listen to other peoples’ opinions without interrupting?

They probably weren’t embarassed by their behavior, but I was embarassed for them (this is how I always feel about junior high boys).

I may be the only one, but I’m not comfortable electing a President who doesn’t seem to have the basic skills and understanding I expect from a 5 year old.

I know two gentlemen who need a time out.  And I bet they would color outside the lines if someone wasn’t watching them.

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Good Presenters Are…


I know nothing about a lot of things.

One of these is my limited understanding of giving a presentation.

But lack of knowledge doesn’t mean I can’t have an opinion (my blog after all).

A great presentation requires many things.

A nice room.  Comfortable seating.  Air conditioning, but not too much air conditioning (I get cold now that I’m old).  A PowerPoint that doesn’t have Funny is Always Good.a bazillion words on each slide.  An internet connection that isn’t slower than dial-up.  Free stuff (you can buy an audience’s love with food, pens, letter openers, umbrella (?)… possibly a car).

The problem is most people only focus on these items.

They double-check the room set-up.  They obsess on the sound system.  They spend hours preparing their PowerPoints.  They go to great lengths to memorize entire presentations.  They make sure they look professional.  The buy all kinds of crap with their name/logo on it (don’t get me wrong, I like free crap… but it’s still crap).

Then they present.

And it stinks.

It’s totally unremarkable.  It’s hard to remember what the presenter said 10 minutes after it’s over.

I don’t understand why people do this.

Especially when the problem is so obvious.

It’s wasn’t the room.  It’s wasn’t the PowerPoint (although for the love of Pete… stop with all of the words and clipart… and remember your audience can get your general idea in less that 120 slides).  It wasn’t even that the free stuff was crappier than usual (again, it’s crap… but keep it coming… I can never have too many nail files).

The problem was the presenter.

Most are very knowledgeable.  Most have a great deal they want to share.  Most are very well prepared.

And most are still boring.

Not bad.  Just boring.

Really boring (like Mitt Romney boring).

It’s like watching slides of your parents’ first vacation to a local state park from 40 years ago (explanation for the kids:  slides pre-dated digital cameras, Polaroids, colored film, and life as we know it).

Boring is always worse worse than bad.

Poor presentations can always be traced back to one thing.

They weren’t funny.

That’s the key.


The more the better.

The presenter doesn’t have to be a professional comedian, but every presentation needs a little entertainment value.

It can be a joke.  Or a video.  Or even an activity (as long as I don’t have to participate… not interested in group projects or role-playing… that’s just me).

Maybe a talking dog or a monkey in a suit (always funny).

But it has to entertain people on some level.

If you want me to remember your great idea, you need to make me smile.

And don’t forget… if all else fails, give me free crap.

You had me at funny.

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4th Grade Teacher for President.

It's a Great Country.I have lots of theories (as you may have noticed). My latest is the people of the United States vote for President just like they choose a fourth grade teacher for their oldest child.

Sure it sounds crazy at first glance, but trust me, I am on to something (and I have the facts to prove it).

The political pundits (I want one of those jobs where I get paid for spouting off my insane opinions) try and convince us that we elect a President after a lot of thought, watching the debates, and three years of seeing these yahoos give speeches to 12 people in Iowa and New Hampshire.

They act like we must be in total agreement with candidate’s thoughts on abortion, gun control, the death penalty, education and even their thoughts on America’s role in the world.

These pundits sit around on TV on Sunday morning (I am so jealous) and tell us how we will back a certain candidate based on their religion, their voting record in Congress, or even their choice of Vice Presidential running mate.

They think we can be swayed by the candidate who raises the most money, has the most commercials, or gets endorsed by the right newspaper or union.

Politicians think we vote for them based on whether they are a Democrat or a Republican, how they look on TV, or if they are from our part of the country.


We vote for the Presidential candidate exactly like we choose our child’s fourth grade teacher. Whichever one is the least creepy, acts like they have classroom control and is the most fun.

I could argue this point, but I will let history make my argument. Take a look at the following 5 Presidential Elections and tell me who you would rather have as your kid’s teacher.

2004 Bush vs. Kerry- regular guy wins over snobby guy (at the time of the election, who would you rather have had a parent-teacher conference with? That’s easy: the down home, regular guy, with a librarian wife – Mr. Bush).

2000 Bush vs. Gore- tough one. (toss up, hope the year goes fast and your child makes it to 5th grade without any permanent damage. If we knew back then that Mr. Gore was Mr. Environment, it would have been an easy decision- everybody loves the science guy, Bill Nye!)

1996 Clinton vs. Dole- fun guy (you can define fun), beats cranky old guy. Your son/daughter would have never forgiven you for putting them in Mr. Dole’s class (that’s a long year with a lot of yelling).

1992 Clinton vs. Bush #1- young hip teacher vs. grandpa who is counting down the days to retirement.

1988 Bush #1 vs. Dukakis- war hero vs. nerd riding around in a tank. Don’t tell me that Mr. Dukakis’s class wouldn’t have been a zoo (lots of note taking and boring lectures).

1984 Reagan vs. Mondale- really cool teacher with experience vs. a guy who subs a lot and makes everyone a little nervous.

I could go on and on with my full-proof political Presidential theory, but I think I have made my point.

Now that I have shared my theory, you should know who our next President will be.

Just ask yourself who would make the best 4th grade teacher: Mrs. Clinton, Mr. Romney, Mr. Obama, Mr. Giuliani, Mr. Edwards, Mr. Thompson, or Mr. McCain?

The answer is so obvious.

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