Erectile Dysfunction. (This Blog is Safe for Work.)

Let’s talk about erectile dysfunctionI Remember When Golf Was a Family Game..

I’m disgusted, so we’re all going to suffer (this is worse than a bad blog… it’s an uncomfortably bad blog).

For the record, I’m not disgusted by erectile dysfunction.  These things happen (so I hear… ).

I’m disgusted by the fact I can’t watch golf on TV without being bombarded with ads about ED (which is evidently the hip way to say erectile dysfunction… which by the way, I’m uncomfortable saying in any form).

I’m going to snap if I see one more “When the moment is right” commercial.

I can handle watching it the first time.  Maybe even 3 times.  But I can’t take hundreds of times during an athletic event.

I don’t think it’s asking too much to watch golf with my daughter without seeing these types of ads.

Especially when they’re in such high rotation (it’s like a Michael Jackson video on MTV in 1983).

It’s troubling.

Actually, it gets more and more troubling as I get older (both the ads and the condition).

Why can’t my daughter grow up in a world without knowing about ED?

Why am I put in a  position where I have to discuss this “condition” with her and she’s not even 10 years old?

I just want to watch a few minutes of golf in peace and quiet.  I don’t want to watch couples lock eyes and embrace as they repaint their living room.

Just for the record:  I’ve painted a lot of rooms and it isn’t “that” much fun.

Plus, if you have ED, don’t you know it?

It’s not like you’re watching golf and say “Hey, wait a second.  That happens to me!”

Do you really need 189 commercials before you think…

…“I may need to speak with my doctor”

I’m all for being open and honest about any issue, but there’s also a time and a place.

And my Sunday afternoons aren’t it.

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College Was Better Than Work.

Having a job is a good thing (especially in this day and age).

Going to college was better. 

This is true for lots of reasons.

Starting with… you could make your own schedule in college.

No work hours to follow.  No contract to abide by.  No one to evaluate you (unless you count the professors).

College was great.My College.

Don’t want to get up early?  Schedule classes in the afternoon.

Want to be done early?  Schedule all of your classes in the morning.

Obsessive about The Price is Right and Hogan’s Heroes (guilty as charged)?  Don’t schedule anything from 11:00 am to 1:00 pm.

Want to be back in the dorm before MTV’s Remote Control comes on?

Just fake a disease or a head injury and leave class a little early.

College was great.

At work you have a dress code.  In college your fashion choice was shorts or sweatpants.

And you accessorized with a t-shirt (up until the late 90’s when this changed to the ever popular hoodie).

No ironing the night before.

No attempting to pick out a shirt and tie that almost match.

No living under society’s expectations of wearing socks that match.

At college, you slept in every day.  All you had to do was be up 2 1/2 minutes before class started (if you could run fast).

College was great.

At work you have bosses.

At college you had advisors (who invariably messed up your schedule).

Life seemed complicated in college, but in retrospect it really wasn’t.

College was great.

In college food was provided for you.  Swipe a card and it was all you could eat (which explains the Freshman 15… or 40).

No trips to the grocery store.  No cooking.  No cleaning up the kitchen (not that I know about any of these).

A long day in college was 4 classes in one day.

A long day at work is everyday.

College was the first opportunity to put some space between you and your parents.

Work (if you choose education) involves being around everyone’s parents.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the number one reason college was better than work.

I didn’t have to shave.

Not for days.  Or weeks.  Or even months.

Being in the grown up work world means I have to shave every day.

And I think that is easily the worst part of being an adult.

If I only knew then what I know now, I would have been far more appreciative of my time in college.

But like most people, I took it for granted.

I never really appreciated the fact I could control my own schedule, dress like a slob, and have someone else prepare my food.

And most importantly, not have to scrape my face every morning with a sharp piece of metal.

It was the 80’s after all… and stubble was cool.

And if you ask me, it still is (although I realize no one has asked me).

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