Phone Books? Really?

Someone, somewhere, thinks I hate trees (for the record, trees and I have an unblemished record of over 40 years of living side by side in almost perfect harmony).

I believe “they” think I hate trees because it’s the only reason “they” keep dropping off phone books at my house.

I don’t even know who “they” are.  I’ve never met them.  I’ve never seen them.

My assumption is they are small wiry people and dress in all yellow (don’t ask me why, it’s my assumption).

But “they” continue to give me phone books that I don’t need, want, or like.

These books are like mice.  Every time I get rid of one, three more turn up. 

On the porch.  In the mailbox.  Shoved between my screen door and the other door that has a directional name (front, back, side, etc). 

They are even randomly thrown into my yard (thankfully, wrapped in a double plastic bag because I would be crushed if one got wet and I was left with only 17 others shoved in the kitchen drawer… and you know what I mean because you have the same drawer).

Enough.Buddy is Resting Before He "Goes" Out in the Yard.

Stop coming by my house and leaving me this little surprise.

It’s bad enough when I find Buddy the Dog’s gifts in the yard (and by find, I mean step in).

I don’t need a phone book.  Or phone books.

Much like I don’t need encyclopedias.

Or dictionaries.

Or catalogs.

Or a rolodex.

Or newspapers or magazines.

I have a little thing I like to call the interweb.

If I need a name, phone number, or pizza, I will Google it (sorry Bing).

The world has changed.  It’s time we changed at the same speed.

Our reaction time as a society is slow.

Way slow (hip phrase for the kids).

Why do we insist on keeping things past their usefulness? 

Why are we so hesitant to move forward?

Why do phone books make me angry?

And most importantly, why can’t dogs be taught to use a litter box?  If Buddy was truly man’s best friend, he would have more respect for my yard.

Or at least bark when the phone book people sneak up to my house to force their outdated gifts on me.

Comments: 6
Tags: ,


While this site operates with the knowledge and awareness of the Tuscola CUSD #301 School Board, Tuscola, Illinois, the content and opinions posted here may or may not represent their views personally or collectively, nor does it attempt to represent the official viewpoint of Tuscola CUSD #301 administrators or employees.