Graduation brings many gifts (the end of school, luggage, and cash to name a few).
The grandest of them all is the fact that I can blog about my experiences with the graduating Senior Class.
As soon as they received their diploma, I’m free (as are they).
I’m no longer under any sort of moral contractual agreement not to embarrass them on the world wide web.
Not that they would ever read this drivel, but you never know.
From each class, I learn many lessons.
As I see them grow from snot-nosed kindergarteners to snot-nosed teenagers it is hard not to take something away from our time together.
A recent class (I don’t want to be too specific on the year just in case one of them gets a law degree… or owns a gun) taught me an invaluable lesson during a teacher’s evaluation.
As I watched the teacher work her magic, I noticed one young man paying extra special attention.
His name is Don (not really… the PrincipalsPage Legal Department advised me to change his name… or maybe I’m using his real name just to confuse you…).
He was hanging on every word the teacher said.
Each time a question was asked, his hand quickly went up to answer.
Don(?) seemed disappointed when the teacher called on other students.
This happened about four times before he finally got a chance to participate.
He could hardly contain his excitement.
The answer almost flew right out of his mouth.
Then something odd happened.
He answered the question by going 3rd person.
He said “Don thinks the answer is an adverb.”
The answer was correct, but who goes 3rd person right in the middle of class?
Even weirder it was like no one noticed but me. The teacher and the students never cracked a smile.
No one even acknowledged it.
During the rest of the evaluation this was all I could think about.
High school boy goes 3rd person for no apparent reason in English.
A couple of days later I was walking by this class, so I decided to drop in and get to the bottom of what happened.
I asked the teacher if she had noticed Don going 3rd person during her evaluation.
She said she hadn’t, but by the rest of the class’s laughter I could tell they did (by the way, compliments to them for not making a big deal of it during the evaluation).
So I asked Don (if in fact this is his real name) why he answered the adverb question in 3rd person.
After a long thoughtful and completely respectful pause he said…
…“Don doesn’t know why Don answered in 3rd person".
The lesson here is don’t go 3rd person. Ever.
I’m not sure why, just don’t.