Graduation Can Be Hell.


It’s a special time of year.It Can Get a Little Warm.

School is out.  Students are off enjoying summer vacation.  The buildings are empty and quiet (not sure if this is the best use of taxpayers’ money, but I force myself to live with it).

Only one thing left.

Besides scooping off the top of my desk (can you say overdue).

Graduation.

I’m not going to lie, it’s a couple of stress-filled hours.

Is everything ready?  Will the students be on their best behavior? 

How long into the ceremony before the sound of an air horn rattles my insides?

It’s a lot of whistling/screaming/yelling by the crowd and me shaking my head in disgust (on the inside… never on the outside).

And if all of this wasn’t enough, there’s always the added pressure of checking the weather forecast every 14 seconds.  This process begins about 4 months in advance of graduation.

I’m not sure why I check because the forecast for graduation day is always the same.

Sunshine.  No breeze.  100% humidity.  Drought-like conditions.  And if that wasn’t enough, the temperature is always between 107 degrees and boiling.

It’s hell.

If hell was located inside a packed high school gymnasium.

I guess one could argue that makes me the devil, but let’s not go there.

Every year it’s the same thing.  I sweat through my shirt.  Then my suit.

This all happens while I’m getting dressed.

Once I arrive at graduation, I feel like I’m standing in a puddlle.

But sadly there’s no water leak, it’s just my shoes and socks acting as a dam for the river of water running down my back.

I don’t think internal organs can sweat, but I could swear my kidneys and liver are moister than usual.

I try to keep my tie dry, but I usually give up about 45 minutes into the big event when I begin using it as a towel.

This may seem gross, but it’s not as gross as me shaking every students hand with my giant drenched paw.

It’s like I dipped it in the locker room urinal.

It’s comforting to know my last interaction with students after 13 years of education is me creeping them out with my 15-year-old-boy-on-a-first-date-clammy-cold-sweaty hand.

Graduation is a wonderful event in students’ and families’ lives.

I just think it would be more special if it would snow

Just once.

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Self-Confidence.


It's a Better Ride Than I Had in High School.

The definition of self-confidence:  riding your bike to school… with an air freshener… as a Senior.

We should all care a little less what other people think.

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“You’re Still Here? It’s Over, Go Home. Go.”


Ferris Would Never Return.  Never.

The school year is officially over.

Graduation has come and gone.

Seniors have waited their whole lives for this moment.

After 13 long years (long for them, longer for me), they are free.

Free at last!

Thank God, they are free at last! (and thank you, Rev. Martin Luther King).

They are no longer required to attend school.

They are no longer required to roll out of bed 7 minutes before 1st hour begins.

They are no longer required to see their teachers and administrators.

And yet, just when they have their first taste of sweet sweet freedom they get confused.

They forget all of the bad experiences that plagued them during their school years.

The homework.

The discipline.

The rules.

PE.

Dissecting frogs.

The angry over-medicated administrators.

All of the things they hate are quickly forgotten.

Then they do something crazy.

Something unspeakable.

Something so disgusting, I can hardly type out the morbid details.

They do the one thing the swore they would never do.

They show up at school (often quite early).

Just when they think they’re out, they drag themselves back in.

It’s weird, but it happens every year.

Like clockwork.

Their Senior year is over.  They’ve graduated.  They are finished.

And then they return.

It’s odd.

Thank you Ferris Bueller.   Not only for supplying the title of yet another blog, but for one of the 5 greatest movies of all-time.

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High School Seniors Are Clueless.


The End.

Actually there is more to this blog than just the title, but there doesn’t have to be. 

If you’ve been around the strange animal (“The Senior”), the title is pretty self-explanatory.Good Luck.  You'll Need It.

Seniors don’t have a clue.

About anything.

This is painfully obvious to just about everyone (especially their parents).

Everyone recognizes this fact, but the Seniors.

They think they have it all figured out.

Actually, they know they have it all figured out (if you don’t believe me, just ask them)

The only thing holding them back are those annoying adults.  Those people who surround them with only one purpose…to tell them what to do and how to act.

Who are “those people”? Teachers, administrators, coaches, mom, dad, and every other old person they’ve encountered since they first stepped foot in kindergarten

All of those people with their annoying advice, experience, and perspective.

Constantly trying to warn them about the challenges life has in store for them.  Trying to alert them that the world is about to smack them upside the head (and Seniors… consider yourself lucky if you only get hit in the head…). Trying to tell them life gets more complicated after high school, not less (sad, but true).

Seniors don’t want to hear it.

They don’t want anymore advice.

They don’t want to hear any more stories about how life used to be “in the good old days”. 

Enough with the guidance.

They want out.

Out of high school.  Out of their houses.  Out of the towns they grew up in (no matter how big that town may be… it’s still too small and there’s nothing to do).

They want sweet sweet freedom.

And they want it 6 months ago.

They want to make their own decisions and be in charge of their own destinies.

As we established earlier, they have all the answers.

What they haven’t figured out (yet) is they don’t know any of the questions.

I feel relatively confident speaking about this phenomenon because I was once a Senior.  Man was I stupid (and by stupid, I mean more stupid than now).

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The School Year is Gone. My Sanity Can Now Return.


You Can't Put a Price on Sanity.I survived. We all did. Even the students.

There was a point where we questioned whether any of us would make it, but we did.

Another school year is officially in the books. It went by so fast. Part of me is thankful while another part of me says my world needs to slow down (I think I just accidently admitted that I have multiple personalities… someone is going to be mad or 7 someones).

As I make my way towards old age (and the sweet relief of retirement), time seems to march on at an unbelievably fast pace.

With the year coming to a close, I have taken inventory and concluded that I am no worse for the wear.

Some minor bruises, facial cuts, a case of exhaustion, and some slight permanent mental damage is all that I have found.

Nothing that a few weeks off can’t cure.

And a vacation. And some therapy. And a shock treatment. With possibly a small dose of medication to curb my hallucinations.

Even my chalk and erasers are feeling better (they have had 8 months to heal).

But, let’s focus on the positive things that have been accomplished during the year.

The kindergarten kids are first graders; the 8th graders are freshman; and the seniors are now officially unemployed.

School year; we hardly knew you.

While it has run its course for 2007-2008, it will return.

From registration to football to homecoming to Thanksgiving to Christmas break to semester exams to prom and graduation… it’s gone for now, but it will be back.

And as with most school years… it was time for this one to go.

Each school year has a very specific feel to it. When you graduate from teacher’s college they give you a diploma, several thousand dollars in student loans, and a sixth sense about the school year.

From the day you graduate, every educator can sense the beginning of school weeks in advance (some call this the July 4th dread) and the exact moment school should be out for the summer.

My gut said school should have been out about 3 weeks ago.

And my gut never lies (honest).

I don’t know what it was about this year. The students were good, the teachers well-behaved, and I kept my head above water for another 185 days.

It just seemed that we all needed a break (did I mention that was about 3 weeks ago?).

Nothing specific happened to bring this feeling on, it was just a sense I got.

Anyway, it is now over.

As much as I have been looking forward to the end of this year, I must admit that I am already looking forward to the 2008-2009 school year.

Man, these pills really work fast.

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While this site operates with the knowledge and awareness of the Tuscola CUSD #301 School Board, Tuscola, Illinois, the content and opinions posted here may or may not represent their views personally or collectively, nor does it attempt to represent the official viewpoint of Tuscola CUSD #301 administrators or employees.