Missing: The Swine Flu.


What happened?Confused.

Why didn’t all of the schools close?

Why did the media stop covering the story of the century?

Where did the Swine Flu go?

I’m confused.

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Swine Flu Warning.


Dear readers:

Concerning the spread of H1N1 virus… I decided to ring the Government’s new Swine Flu Helpline yesterday to check on what the symptoms are. Basically, if you wake up looking like this…

DON’T GO TO SCHOOL OR WORK!

Get a Flu Shot.  Quickly.

This joke isn’t funny if…

1). You have the flu.

2). This guy is better looking than you.

Get a Flu Shot. Or two.

Just as importantly… make sure to wash your hands this winter. A lot. And by a lot, I mean a lot.

Another lesson… Photoshop is a dangerous tool in the hands of a computer savvy 12 year old.

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Which Will Make Me Sicker? The Swine Flu or the Media?


Remember When Pigs Where Our Friends?  I Wonder If They Are Upset About the Whole Bacon Thing?Last winter I wrote (slopped down… whatever) two blogs about the overreaction surrounding this country’s newest arch nemesis… the Swine Flu.

If you haven’t heard, the Swine Flu is not our friend.

How do I know this?

Because it has all of the characteristics of the perfect arch enemy.

It’s mysterious, has a cool name, comes from a less than intelligent animal, gives schools the opportunity to close or dismiss early, and it doesn’t like children.

Basically, it’s kryptonite for school nurses.

And you know it’s a big deal because nothing can stop school nurses.

This spring school districts all across the country were burdened with the decision about what to do if their community experienced an outbreak of the dreaded Pig Flu (not as catchy, I know).

Government officials were happy to do their part to fan the crisis.

The Department of Diseases Contracted from Filthy Farm Animals (which I personally didn’t even know existed) put out daily emails explaining what schools should do if one of their students had the flu.

I appreciated their guidance in the first few emails. Though, I must admit my interest waned after email #154 (and this came in day 2 of our long national Swine Flu crisis).

To the amazement of no one (other than government officials), schools have a pretty good handle on kids who are ill.

Personally, I have a standard reaction when a student gets sick in the hallway.

Step One: I try not to step in it.

Step Two: I try not to breathe so I don’t throw up in the hallway (no one likes the Vomit Chain Reaction).

Step Three: I send the student to the office so the nurse can comfort them until mom, dad, or grandma can come and pick them up (it always seems like grandma… never grandpa… another one of education’s great mysteries).

Step Four: Call a custodian and ruin his/her day by telling them a 1st grader’s stomach just exploded (I have never seen a custodian smile after receiving this dreaded news… and they should because it could have been something worse than the stomach explosion).

Step Five: Involves Mom/Dad/Grandma. They simply keep the child home until he or she feels better.

It’s a tried and true plan.

Simple but effective.

And it served us well before the Department of Diseases Contracted from Filthy Farm Animals came along.

The problem wasn’t that the government wanted us to take this situation seriously, it was the media’s overreaction to the entire event.

WHAT?

Yes, I said it. The media overreacts.

And then they beat the overreaction to death.

This goes on and on and on and on until a more exciting story comes along.

Remember Gov. Mark Sanford from South Carolina? The guy taking secret “vacations” to Argentina to “see” his girlfriend.

He was all the rage (and still would be) before Michael Jackson passed away.

I’m not saying the Governor was happy about the unexpected death of Mr. Jackson, but I’m not say he wasn’t…

In the case of the Swine Flu, the media has had all summer to get revved up to cover this story as the flu season cranks up.

And schools will be right in the middle of it.

Lucky us.

One day we may look back and appreciate the good old days when flu was just a smelly interruption to a winter school day.

I for one am going to take this latest outbreak of Swine Flu seriously.

I’m getting my annual flu shot for $60 (used to cost $8 five years ago).

I only regret there isn’t a Media Shot that would prevent me from getting sick as I watch all of the “Swine Flu and Schools” stories on the news this winter.

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Calm Down Citizens. Schools Can Remain Open Despite the Swine Flu. Duh.


School Closed?  I Don’t Think So.On May 5, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) announced they were no longer recommending that schools close based on a suspected case of Swine Flu.

In a nutshell their recommendations are now:

* Students, faculty or staff with flu-like symptoms should stay home from school.

* Students, faculty or staff who have continuing flu-like symptoms should see their physician.

* Students, faculty or staff who get sick during the school day should be isolated from other students and sent home.

* Students who are ill should not go to child care facilities with other children.

* Students, faculty and staff should frequently wash their hands with soap.

* Students, faculty and staff should cover their mouths when coughing.

Now this is the type of quality advice that you can only get from the federal government.

What would we do without their competent leadership and direction.

The next time a pig sneezes on me, I have all the confidence in the world that our government will protect me.

Of course, I also believe the news media will fairly and accurately report the information.

Now that we have the Swine Flu Saga behind us, we can focus on more pressing issues.

Such as:

* When it rains, go inside. And don’t look up with your mouth open.

* Don”t take a nap inside your oven.

* Don”t eat glass.

* Never mow your yard while holding a baby.

* And most importantly, never smell anything moments after someone says “Eeewww, smell this”

Actually I am lying about the Swine Flu Saga being behind us. I am sure we will get to do this all over again next fall.

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Disclaimer

While this site operates with the knowledge and awareness of the Tuscola CUSD #301 School Board, Tuscola, Illinois, the content and opinions posted here may or may not represent their views personally or collectively, nor does it attempt to represent the official viewpoint of Tuscola CUSD #301 administrators or employees.