Leave My Time Alone.

It happens twice a year.Why Can't They Just Leave It Alone?

I’m not sure why, but my neverending confidence in the government tells me they must have a good reason to totally uproot my schedule.

The time change means I wake up 4 hours early to bright sunshine pouring down on me like asteriods in a meteor shower (since I wasn’t a science teacher I have no idea what I’m talking about).

Then I’m completely confused if I’m hungry or not.

So instead of eating breakfast, I reset all the clocks in the house.  I thought we had three clocks.

Turns out we have 117.

Then I need to reset the clocks in our cars.  I would love an answer to why we have two clocks within 1 inch of each other in our Ford Taurus (no charge for the free plug).

Then, I’m off to change the batteries in our smoke detectors.


Because the battery companies had a meeting and decided to tell us if we don’t change the batteries when the time changes we will ALL DIE!

They are smart.  Not as smart as the hot dog bun people who continue to sell us 8 buns for 10 hotdogs.

Actually, this isn’t true.

They sell us 16 buns for 10 hotdogs.

I can’t hate them.  Only admire.

After more time changing chores, I spend roughly the one hour I’ve gained trying to figure out why Buddy the Dog is hungry at 2 in the afternoon.

Then it occurs to me.  His stomach doesn’t change times.

For a dog who doesn’t wear a watch, he sure knows when it’s time to eat.

After all of this, I’m overrun with depression when I realize it now gets dark at 4:30 in the afternoon.

Suddenly, the school day is like working the overnight shift.  Arrive in the dark and come home in the dark.

Thankfully, there is something good that comes out of the time change.

I can spend the next week totally annoying my wife by saying what time it is and also what time it "really" is.

Thank you government.

This should keep me amused until at least Thanksgiving.

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It’s Going to be a Long Week at School and I Blame You, Time Change.

And I Thought Changing the Clocks in my House was Bad.As you begin to read this entry, please don’t get your hopes up. I am working with little to no sleep. It is hard for me to focus when well-rested, so this may be an adventure.

That’s right; I am typing through the pain for you, the reader.

I can almost hear everyone sighing in support as I struggle to do my best. I am hunting and pecking my way through yet another blog about… I am not sure what it is about just yet… I am only on paragraph #3… I am as interested as anyone to see how it turns out.

Sadly, even if I do my best it is going to be somewhat mediocre and more than likely a little sophomoric.

The people who take, or waste, a few minutes a couple of times each week to read this nonsense are a loyal bunch. The best I can tell they aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer, but loyalty counts for something.

I appreciate their support; especially in such a difficult time.

I could write several more paragraphs kissing up to my readers, but I am about to doze off (and I am already losing interest in my own thoughts).

Before I head off for a nap, I need to thank you again for your loyalty and encouragement.

Actually, the more I think about it you are probably rolling your eyes to mock me. If I knew where you lived… so help me… I would come over and… bore you in person (but, I do need that nap).

The reason that I seem to be struggling more than usual is that we just set our clocks ahead one hour.

This makes me sleepy. And a little grumpier than usual.

Is there any reason that we have to do this all on one night? Couldn’t we slowly set our clocks ahead, like 1 minute a day for 60 days?

Or maybe 15 minutes a week for a month. Why a whole hour all at once? Especially during the sacred time of the weekend.

Is this some sort of cruel joke by the government (or the Time Police as I like to refer to them)?

I only get to sleep in once a week. It seems to me that it is just mean to rip this little bit of happiness away from me.

They couldn’t take an hour away during a work day? Or in the middle of soccer practice? Or better yet, while I am sitting in a meeting.

It gets ripped from my grasp as I sleep.

My week is getting off to a bad start. And it is going to get worse.

You see, for the next two weeks we will all be subjected to that guy who feels the need to constantly remind us of the time change.

Such as, “you know it is 4 o’clock, but really it is 3.” Or, “the meeting starts at 9, but that is really 8.” Or even worse, “lunch at 11 means you’re really eating at 10”.

That guy drives everyone nuts (not as bad as the weatherman, but close).

I am tired, so I am going to take my 2 o’clock nap (it is actually 1 o’clock).

You see, I am that guy. Didn’t see that coming did you?

If my weekend is ruined, I am going to torture everyone around me for the next two weeks (by torture, I mean more than usual).

Enjoy the extra hour of cloudiness (time change in April is great, in March it just extends the depression).

I am grumpy. Wish me luck on my nap.

The twist at the end of the blog was inspired by the movie, The Usual Suspects. It is easily 1 of the top 5 man movies of all time. If you haven’t enjoyed this classic, you are living a life without meaning.

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Mark My Word, It Will be Dark by Lunch.

I Will Miss the Sunshine.This is the most depressing blog I have ever typed. I have dreaded this moment for months (much like going to the doctor for my first appointment after my 40th birthday).

Today is the day that we set our clocks back one hour. They try to make this a momentous occasion by selling us on the idea that we get an extra hour of sleep, but believe me bad things are just around the corner.

One, I will now wake up at 2:30 a.m. with the terrible feeling that I am late for school. I will then realize that I have 5 ½ hours until school begins, but I will be unable to sleep because of the urge to look at the alarm clock every 22 minutes.

Secondly, it will now get dark in the middle of the afternoon. Nothing better than walking out of school at 4:30 p.m. and it is darker than a cemetary at midnight.

Next, we can no longer lie to ourselves that the wonderful fall weather is going to last forever. Winter is on its way and it is angry. We are all going to spend the next 4 months (it will feel so much longer) freezing to death, looking for our missing glove, and driving 14 miles an hour on slippery streets.

Lastly, we have spent all of spring, summer, and fall wishing we could watch more TV. Now we will find out that while we have 500 stations, there is nothing on (television is the only industry that with more competition, it still gets worse).

The leaves are falling and the wind is getting colder. I feel like I should go kiss my lawn goodbye, as I won’t see it for approximately 150 days.

There you have it. No sleep, darkness, cold, crappy TV, and I will miss my grass (insert joke here).

I have set the clocks back and changed the batteries in the smoke detectors. Let the depression set in.

See you in April.

If you live south of the Mason-Dixon Line this blog does not apply to you. Enjoy your “winter” (and 70 degree temperatures) and please keep in mind that the rest of us hate you.

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