I’m about to do all parents a favor.
I’m going to share a lesson most of us had to learn the hard way.
Please take notes (or just refer back to this blog … it’s good for traffic).
The mere thought of wishing against your children will infuriate the God of your choice.
Karma will smack you upside the head like a tired angry mom with 7 year old triplets in Wal-mart (I’ve seen her slap them into next week… and I was scared).
Your kid is playing in his or her 100th baseball/softball game of the summer. Every one of them took place in tempatures of at least 1,000 degrees.
You just want an evening off. You spot what looks like a raincloud in the distance.
You quietly, without bringing any attention to yourself, wish it would rain just enough to cancel the game so you can go home and read a book.
This may seem like a simple harmless wish, but you know what will happen?
No rain for 18 months. A drought of epic proportions. Your kid’s game not only won’t be rained out, but it will go extra innings.
Farmers will hate you.
And if you’re lucky, you might get home by 2:00 am.
Another example. Wish your child’s graduation program will be over in less than an hour.
You’ve just guaranteed you will be in a hot gymnasium without air conditioning sitting between smelly people for the next four days.
Wish the coach will put your kid in the big game.
It happens. Only to have the very same kid do something so horrific the team loses by 97 points and the other parents won’t speak to you in the grocery store ever again (this last part could be a good thing).
Wish your child’s teacher would announce your kid as a mortal lock for a full scholarhsip to an Ivy League college.
Not going to happen. There’s a better chance the teacher says in her 47 years of education she’s never been more sure a child is guaranteed to be convicted of a felony before their 14th birthday.
Wish your kids gets a college degree so they can support themselves.
And they move back home for the next four decades. With their spouse.
And four kids. And two dogs. And massive debt.
It angers the God of I Just Want Some Peace and Quiet.