The Educational Community has a Lot of Experts. I’m Not One of Them, but I am Available for Hire.

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This Guy is an Expert in Something.  Not Sure What... But Definitely an Expert.As I was contemplating the 100th Blog (this is it, please send your congratulatory packages and emails in the next week or so), several things crossed my mind.

One, I spend way too much time contemplating. But, lucky for me I continue to have lots of free time.

Two, 100 Blogs are 99 more than I thought I could write. Turns out having a Blog is much like going to college. You don’t have to be overly smart, you just have to turn the TV off every so often and show up (or at least be bright enough to schedule around The Price is Right).

This plan worked in college as I received my degrees, and it seems to be working with the Blog. My intention is to stick with this plan and ride it out until it fails me.

The really nice thing about my slopping (I mean writing) the Blog (not counting the large salary, benefit package, and company car) is that I am my own boss.

No deadlines. No expectations of actually doing something productive. No one evaluating my performance (other than some harshly worded emails, but I forgive you).

I may have mentioned this before, but the Blog was started simply to drive a little traffic to the website ( It was my hope that this resource would occasionally benefit an administrator or two who needed a little help writing a letter, or finding a form.

Since that was such a small goal, I think I can say it has been accomplished. Plus, since no one is evaluating me; everything I do; I get to think is great.

During my extensive contemplating (aka: working in the yard), something else occurred to me.

In the last 5 years, I have had the opportunity to attend a lot of meetings, panel discussions, and conferences.

In conclusion, I dislike them all immensely; the meetings, the speakers, the subjects, the bad breakfast food, and above all – the chairs.

The older I get, the more important it is that I have a comfortable chair.

The doorbell just rang and after writing that sentence I’m a bit afraid it might be Death at my front door.

The reason for my distaste of meetings and everything they entail is that I am genuinely surprised when the guest speaker is good. My expectation level has been beaten down to the point that I am ecstatic if they are just mediocre.

Anything less than them being horrendous is a victory in my mind.

All of the speakers are self-appointed experts in their fields. They get paid loads of money to stand up and talk for 2 hours and I am forced to sit there listening (in an uncomfortable chair).

The meeting could be about RtI, special education, insurance, technology, curriculum, Title I, or pest management; but the quality of speaker is usually the same (Except when the presenter is my wife speaking about the use of technology. Always a great presentation!)

That is why I am anointing myself an educational expert on… Nothing. Yes, that’s right, I am officially the first expert on Nothing.

I will come and speak to your school or organization for a large sum of money (plus mileage) about Nothing as it relates to education.

That way the people who have to sit through my presentation won’t be disappointed. The can expect Nothing and that is exactly what they will get. Plus, if they are early they may have a bagel.

I have to go as I think my phone just rang. (Hope it isn’t Death calling to tell me he’ll be back tomorrow since I didn’t answer the door earlier!)

This Blog was written under duress. My wife only agreed to proofread it, if I added one sentence. She won’t allow me to say which one.

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5 Responses to “The Educational Community has a Lot of Experts. I’m Not One of Them, but I am Available for Hire.”

  1. Angie
    on Apr 7th, 2008
    @ 1:26 pm

    Wow. “No deadlines. No expectations of actually doing something productive. No one evaluating my performance,” yet you still managed to produce 100 pieces of work! Imagine if schoolwork was like this. Kids might actually do something for the sheer joy of doing it (or from boredom). Congratulations!

  2. sweetchuckd
    on Apr 7th, 2008
    @ 7:16 pm

    Nice blog… if you want to check the the latest headlines in public education, head over to It’s one of the leading sources for breaking crazy news from our schools. Good work.

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