The Evil Spawn Calls Me Names at School.

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The Evil Spawn and I are sharing the same hallways for the first time in history.

Maybe it’s not a historical event, but it is an event (at least in our house).DadD_2

This experience has been interesting to say the least.

Turns out sweaty junior high kids smell bad in every school district.  I had no idea.

I am particularly disgusted when the sweatiest kid in school stands in front of a fan in what I think is an attempt to make the entire school smell like a giant armpit.

For the record, I’m not saying this kid is related to me… but I’m not saying she isn’t.

I see the Evil one about 47 times per day.

This is nice.

And awkward.


Because she is far more affectionate at school than at home.

It’s weird.

And did I mention awkward?

Lets get this straight once and for all.

I don’t want to be touched.  Or hugged.  Or touched.  Or hugged.

It’s called personal space.

Over the years I’ve never swayed on this issue. 

This is especially true when I’m around sweaty kids.

Even my own.

Rule #1:  Don’t Touch Me.  Rule #2:  See Rule #1.

Another issue that’s reared it’s ugly head is what she should call me.

Pre-sweaty hug, should she address me as Mr.?

Or Dad?

Maybe, Hey You?

There has been some confusion on her part.

She did refer to me as “Tie-Guy”, but that doesn’t seem appropriate.

Last year, when she had her mother as a teacher, she called her “Mom”.  But having her call me “Mom” just seems odd.

Maybe I shouldn’t even worry about this.

After all, I’m sure how she addresses me as a 5th grader will be entirely different than what she calls me when she’s 16


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11 Responses to “The Evil Spawn Calls Me Names at School.”

  1. wozza
    on Aug 27th, 2011
    @ 1:07 pm

    I have had this experience with all of my brood (some had a choice, some didn’t, some liked it, one didn’t, all called me dad if they called me anything). By the 4th one it was old hat. This was a while ago now (last one finished at high school in 2009) but it was definitely weirdsville.

    I wish you well my friend.

  2. wozza
    on Aug 27th, 2011
    @ 1:11 pm

    Pt 2. Actually the weirdest thing was their friends coming home (so be prepared) and let me tell you worlds collided. Private Wozza (actually their friends called me Purdzilla or Purdster) world collided with Professional Mr Principal world and it was twilight zone strange at times.

    Sorry to break that to you dude.

  3. Alfred Thompson
    on Aug 27th, 2011
    @ 2:23 pm

    My son called me Mr. but that was high school. He called his mother Mrs when they both worked in the same school. My wife and I called each other Mr and Mrs when we taught in the same school. We tried to be careful and professional. The kids still figured out that we had a relationship going even though they didn’t always figure out that we were married. :-)

  4. Michelle Howell-Martin
    on Aug 27th, 2011
    @ 2:26 pm

    I don’t know who I feel worse for: her or you.

  5. Luke
    on Aug 27th, 2011
    @ 3:15 pm

    I’ve had both mine at school for the last 9 years, they try to call me nothing, avoid using any title and then default to dad. It’s normal, the kids all know, and it’s no biggie.

  6. Luke
    on Aug 27th, 2011
    @ 3:18 pm

    Part two: Wozza is right, the friends coming home, going away for long weekends, and stay overs, man there are some laughable moments. I’ve been called sir and Mr Sumich while out fishing!

  7. Karen Marcus
    on Aug 27th, 2011
    @ 4:01 pm

    When my kids were in the kindergarten room beside mine years ago, one called me mom and the other called me Mrs. Marcus at school. The one that called me mom would enter my room unannounced and unallowed and say “Come look what I did.” The other would have nothing to do with me. As you said, weird.

  8. Melanie
    on Aug 27th, 2011
    @ 5:04 pm

    Enjoy it!!!! My son just left my school to go to high school, and I miss seeing him every single day whenever I wanted to. I loved having his friends over and seeing them at school. It was an amazing experience, and one I can’t wait to repeat with my daughter in three years!

  9. Pat
    on Aug 27th, 2011
    @ 9:01 pm

    My daughter called me Mrs. Mom so maybe yours can call you Mr. Dad. It was funny how some of the other students started calling me Mrs. Mom too.

  10. Jim
    on Aug 28th, 2011
    @ 12:11 pm

    All three of my step kids go to my high school. They call me Jim at home and they call me Jim at school, but generally don’t refer to me by name in front of other kids. It is usually not an issue because most of the time we don’t see each other at all unless they want money for lunch.:) There is that awkward moment when their friends call me Jim in class. I try to put an end to that in a hurry.

  11. Jean Hino
    on Sep 29th, 2011
    @ 7:32 am

    My son graduated in June from the K-12 school where I teach and he has attended k-12. When I taught him in 2nd grade he called me “mama”. One of the other students said that he was happy with my son calling me “mama”. I told him that I was sorry about that, but he had be calling me that for several years and if the other student wanted to call me that it would be fine. As a senior I would see him on campus and suddenly he started calling me “mother”. One day he was with friends and I answered “Yes, son.” They all laughed, he continued calling me mother whenever he needed to address me at school. It seems strange this year not to see him or have the office call to ask me where he is in the morning because he over slept and was late for school. Enjoy it while you can.

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