Which Grade Should You Teach? I Can Help.

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Hmmm.... Which Grade Should I Teach?As I travel this great country of ours (back and forth to work), the question I am asked most often is… “How do I know which grade level I should teach?”

Future educators seem to be confused by the differences in kids at the elementary, middle school, and high school levels.

This is understandable because each grade comes with its own set of strange and fascinating creatures. And when I insinuate students are strange and fascinating, I mean they are strange and fascinating.

The answer to the “Which grade should I teach?” question is, of course, quite simple.

If you are confused, check the nearest restroom (pick the right one, and if you don’t, please keep my name out of it).

You read correctly. The secret of choosing the teaching position is to walk into any school and head straight to the bathroom.

That is where you will find the answer to your career questions.

Other stuff is also kept in there, so ignore that if possible. If you can’t, call a janitor.

When you arrive, wash your hands then ask yourself “What kind of restroom troubles do I want for the next 30 years?”

If you want a restroom in your classroom, teach kindergarten or 1st grade.

If you want to yell at goofy boys for doing goofy things in the restroom, teach 2nd thru 5th grade.

If you like general weirdness, in the vicinity of a restroom, focus on teaching junior high or middle school students.

If you are interested in discovering why there is smoke coming out of the restroom, focus on high school.

So there you have it. Answers to career questions can be found in a stall near you.

Now that I have cleared up this mystery, I can focus on the other question that I am asked almost every day.

“Where’s the restroom?”

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8 Responses to “Which Grade Should You Teach? I Can Help.”

  1. Elissa
    on Nov 6th, 2008
    @ 5:37 am

    I’ll add one more – if you’re comfortable with going into a stall and hearing the frantic finger-tapping sounds of texting coming from the neighboring stall, high school is the place to be.
    Also, we have less vomit in the bathrooms. If you don’t like vomit, definitely go the high school route :)

  2. Traci Toth
    on Nov 6th, 2008
    @ 7:34 am

    Loved this! Am planning to give to it my high school methods students tonight!

  3. Angie
    on Nov 6th, 2008
    @ 8:11 am

    I would also like to offer up the lunchroom. I haven’t worked middle school, but there are vast differences in elementary and high. If you like opening ketchup packages and telling kids to sit on their bottoms, go elementary. If you like staring at kids trying to touch each other inappropriately and stopping the occasional food fight, go high school.

  4. Nedra
    on Nov 6th, 2008
    @ 9:34 am

    Don’t be fooled by the luxury of having a bathroom in your room. If you don’t want to hear “So and So didn’t flush!” or “Somebody peeded on the seat, floor, wall”-take your pick several times a day or you don’t like dealing with overflowing toilets due to too much toilet paper or class supplies, such as thin wooden sticks, being flushed, stay away from K-2!

  5. Pat
    on Nov 6th, 2008
    @ 11:43 am

    I can’t tell you how many years on the high school level that I have had potty patrol! I have a funny story though: I was doing a science experiment in my class and forgot to bring matches. I went into the bathroom and politely said I was a teacher and asked for a book of matches from the girls in the stall (smoke coming up out of 2 of the 3 stalls). I said if someone would toss me the matches, I would walk out of there and not care who was in there. Otherwise, I would stand there until the cows came home. Immediately, a book of matches was tossed out at me so I took them and left! LOL There were other days to catch these smokers, but that day was not one of them.

  6. Bic
    on Nov 6th, 2008
    @ 3:00 pm

    I have to say that other than smoking… I have seen drinking in the restroom… alcohol of course… but that is not the top…

    Two of my colleagues where on call during lunch duty one day when they got the call to the boys restroom… a male and female student in the stall having sex. Of all places. It has scarred both of them… the administrators that is.

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